MY EYES! MY EYES!

If you look up the word "Hide" her picture is next to it!

Well you can't deny that she has a nice tan...

Brother Charles,
See if she will show you her tan lines.

quote:

Originally posted by Brain1:
Brother Charles,
See if she will show you her tan lines.

I'm eating lunch here, do you mind?

I have lost my appetite.

My lunch in on my keyboard now...

Here's the rest of the story:



When Frank and I walked into the liquor store to stock up for the DRSS's evening events, I noticed movement in a dark corner and made the mistake of looking in that direction. Emerging from the ether was the pictured subject, trying her best to fit her teeth in her mouth and give me a seductive smile at the same time. It didn't work very well. I gagged silently. Doc and 577 weren't so polite and began to giggle aloud.

Frank and I made eye contact with each other and about split a gut. Damn, was she U-G-L-Y. She looked worse than what a hyena leaves for the vultures. Well, that wouldn't be fair to deceased game.

The poor creature came up behind me and "booped" me in the back with the worst set of plastic tits I've ever seen. They were the consistancy of a bag of concrete that's been out in the rain for a month.

Upon contact, I jumped a couple of yards and hit a display of Early Times, about knocking the whole thing over. I played quarterback and I don't think a 245 lb. blitzing linebacker ever hit me as hard. Kind of like getting hit with the "bullets" on the front bumper of a '53 Cadillac.

I hurried over to the Scotch and tried to find a single-malt so I could get the hell out of there. With breath that would kill a goat, the creature about shouted... I've never had a good drink of Scotch. Want to share some?" Her teeth weren't quite in yet so it came out, "I'b neber hab a donk of scots... wanna stair sumb?"

Startled, I spun around and found the woman about 2" from my face and moving forward. Trapped up against wall full of whiskey, I faked left and dodged right. Fear can make you fast! I've been charged by lots of elephants and never been so scared. I needed my Searcy.

I ran to the counter and threw a fifty at the clerk and hauled ass out of the door with the woman still pleading for a drink of booze... At that point, I think I needed one worse than she...

Doc and son were already in their car and in stitches. Frank went back in and braved fate by taking the creatures picture. I'll bet he had his eyes closed when he did it because he didn't go blind.

I believe that that woman is the only person who has survived an autopsy.

Judge,
She has that come hither , I want you big boy, look in her eye. I guess we'll never know the real truth of what happened between you and her. Thats ok one hurl a day is my limit.

She looks like she has money Judge. Maybe you should think about this some more.

Too Cruel. I did wonder though what happened for those two hours after you dropped me off at the camp.
Frank

It wreally is a good thing we didn't run out of booze cuz it woulda been a long drive back to the next liquor store.

She is a vision....

Looks like JudgeG got an early jump on the hogfest. Were you using some sort of bait scent? A little single malt behind each ear?

I was just wondering whether he mounted his trophy?

BY the way, Judge, I laughed out loud at your story.

Judge,
I can't help it ha ha ha ha ha ha .............!
next time I go out fishing can I use you as bait?

Well not onley does she look like she has money shee does have a liquor store!!!
All the dangers the brave hunter must face in serch of his game.
Bill

quote:

Originally posted by Bill Cooley:
Well not onley does she look like she has money shee does have a liquor store!!!
All the dangers the brave hunter must face in serch of his game.
Bill

Judge, she is perfect for you, if she is deaf mute. The perfect woman is one that is deaf mute, who owns a liquor store! Hell, you don't have to take her out in public!

Dang,
I missed the real pic... frank, can you send to me? I know this is inviting danger....


Judge, you know, her 7th husband may have requested she have what was left of her teeth removed.....

what, never had a gummer?

Sorry Jeffe. I was asked to remove them which is what I did. Someone has put them back however.
I will send you a pm tonight.
Frank

Sent back to the top for the following reason.

Anyone who is thinking about buying a double rifle....

It would be well worth the time and travel money you would spend to come to a DRSS event.
You can see, handle, and shoot more different double rifles in less time here that anywhere wlse I know of.

Also the combined knowledge and opinions of the people there is just phenominal.

Why would anyone ask you to remove that great picture, Frank?

Here is my version, not quite as nice as Frank's!

quote:

Originally posted by Rusty:
Why would anyone ask you to remove that great picture, Frank?

Here is my version, not quite as nice as Frank's!

Rusty:

I don't think THAT photo was the one that was asked to be removed.

I believe it was the one of the THING Frank, Judge, Doc and I ran into in the back sticks of Texas. You guys done have some CRAZY things in them there woods of yours.