We have been married for about 6 years next week.

For the majority of our lives other than a few short hunts when I lived in Australia, I have not taken a vacation with out her.

I drew a tag in Arizona and booked the lodging, and am going to be gone a week. She is already trying to turn it into a family vacation, and wants me to commute to the hunting area 80 miles back and forth each day, so she can stay in Tucson at a resort.

We just did a family vacation to San Diego and are doing another one to Disneyland in September.

How the hell do I get out of this bullshit?

Grow a pair

Open up the Cabela's catalog to the area that has women's long underwear and tell her she is going to need them for your upcoming trip. Also add the bear spray and sleeping bag to the list.
Or... she can spend a week at the spa and you will come visit for a few days when your hunt trip is over.

We have 3 kids under 5 years of age.

She needs to stay home with them.

That's your answer right there.

quote:

Originally posted by Snowwolfe:
Grow a pair

+1

"I love you and the kids, but I need to get away from you for a week or so and go kill things. Otherwise I might 'kill things' around here."

Has always worked for me.

quote:

Originally posted by Snowwolfe:
Grow a pair

+2
Might want to stop it now 'cause it ain't gonna get better or easier. Before we were married, I told my wife that I was gonna continue to go hunting and fishing. The difference was that if she rankled me about it, I wouldn't come back.

Just suck it up and do the commute. Sunrise isn't until 7:15...

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Having done a similar commute between Tucson and Nogales in 2011, the logistics are a nightmare, to say the least.

Sunrise may not be until 7:15, but most hunters I am acquainted with want to be in the field and ready to start the hunt, before sunrise.

Something to do with being in the hunt area early enough to not disturb the critters before you can actually shoot at them.

I was driving for about 1 hour/1 1/2 hour each way and that makes for a long day. There are just some hunts that simply can not be made convenient for a wife and kids.

A logistical nightmare are you kidding me?

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Yeah, wasbeeman hit the nail on the head.
"Expectation is the root of all disappointment Grasshopper"
What does she expect?

How many of your wives and kids want to spend the Christmas holidays in a deer camp on a military reservation in Arizona?
...and I'll add to that.
How many military wives and children would like to sit at home during the Christmas holidays while daddy is in a deer camp on a military reservation in Arizona?

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quote:

A logistical nightmare are you kidding me?

If you live in the state or region where a hunt is going to be done, then it isn't a logistical nightmare.

If you are a Non-Resident and have NEVER been to the hunting area, for any reason, then YES, it can turn into a logistical nightmare.

Add a spouse and 2 or 3 small children and possible budget considerations, again YES, it can turn into a logistical nightmare.

For a hunter going by themselves, and especially a hunter that has done other such hunts, things are not as bad. I actually have done a few out of state hunts and a couple of out of country hunts, and when a hunter is going by themselves there are many aspects of a similar trip involving a wife or wife and children that come into play that complicates things at the minimum.

quote:

Originally posted by Crazyhorseconsulting:

quote:

A logistical nightmare are you kidding me?

If you are a Non-Resident and have NEVER been to the hunting area, for any reason, then YES, it can turn into a logistical nightmare.



.

Two words.
Scouting trip.


.

What about that camper you talked about getting? Park that sucker close to the hunting. Wife and kids hang out there while you're hunting. Mine like to go walk-about on their own while I'm trying to kill stuff. Sometimes they come on a morning or evening hunt that I expect to be low impact. Commute is short and you can spend a little time in the evenings with them before conking out so you can be up early. After a couple days of that, she might just be ready to head off to Tucson on her own for a couple more days. Then you get some "us" time and some "me" time, and she gets some pseudo-"me" time, just with the kids at the resort. Maybe as close to a win-win as you can get.

My wife understands that I need to venture off for weeks each year to recharge my batteries. Without those trips (some without her, some with her and the kids), I'd go batshit crazy and be a worthless husband. She's known this since long before we became one and accepts it. She may not always like it, but she understands my need for wild places and critters. It helps that I watched the three kids for three weeks while she goofed around in Europe earlier this year too.

quote:

Scouting trip.

Are great if you have the time and finances to do them!!!!!!!

That is why nearly All of the trips I have gone on or look at going on are GUIDED!!!!!

Not everyone has unlimited time or finances to just take off and drive several hundred miles and spend a few days scouting, between commitments at home with the family and work obligations, some people simply are not able to go on scouting trips, should they give up hunting, or do the best they can within the parameters they are having to deal with?

quote:

What about that camper you talked about getting? Park that sucker close to the hunting. Wife and kids hang out there while you're hunting.

After hunting the area between Tucson and Nogales and being advised by my friend that was helping me with the hunt that I needed to wear a sidearm while in the field hunting, I for one would not be very comfortable leaving my wife and small children alone in a camper in that part of America while I went off hunting. Just a few too many possible unpleasant outcomes to deal with.

quote:

Originally posted by Thomas "Ty" Beaham:
Just suck it up and do the commute. Sunrise isn't until 7:15...

I can certainly see who wears the pants in your house and it's not you!

quote:

Originally posted by Crazyhorseconsulting:

quote:

Scouting trip.

Are great if you have the time and finances to do them!!!!!!!

Which is why I wait (sometimes years) until I have the time and finances to include a scouting trip before I do a d.i.y. hunt.
That way, I know where to be long before sunrise so I don't spook the critters before I get a chance to shoot them...
Doing things any other way is just taking your rifle for a hike on a wish and a prayer you get lucky.


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This is maybe a tough one. Do y'all have friends who might like a little shopping time in Tucson with your wife? I'd try not to do the commute any more often than twice a week, as a compromise.

Disclosure: I'm juggling expectations for the fall myself, offering a few days in a rental at Mammoth Lakes in exchange for a few days in a sleepy bag up north...

Just had our 41st anniversary yesterday and I've been retired since 2002. I've been going out west in the Fall for 2-3 weeks to over two months every year and she just says have a good time and call me when you can. She knew what she was getting into in 1975 when she said I do and we've never looked back. I'm heading for WY and AZ on 8/27 and wont be back here until 11/3 and then the following week I'll head up north to our place 180 miles from here for the last two weeks of November for our MI rifle deer season. It's just another normal fall for me like it has been for many years.

quote:

Originally posted by Topgun 30-06:

quote:

Originally posted by Thomas "Ty" Beaham:
Just suck it up and do the commute. Sunrise isn't until 7:15...

I can certainly see who wears the pants in your house and it's not you!

You're a riot.

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quote:

Originally posted by Thomas "Ty" Beaham:

quote:

Originally posted by Topgun 30-06:

quote:

Originally posted by Thomas "Ty" Beaham:
Just suck it up and do the commute. Sunrise isn't until 7:15...

I can certainly see who wears the pants in your house and it's not you!

You're a riot.

And you're a big pussy to offer that kind fo information after he said what they had already done together and would also be doing in a few weeks. A guy has to establish right from the get go that he has to get away from time to time and if you can't deal with that it's too bad!

quote:

Originally posted by Thomas "Ty" Beaham:
Classy.

Might not be PC, but's it's the truth and if you can't take it too bad!

No, that's called a personal attack.
It's very typical of your behavior in this particular forum for the last several years.


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quote:

Originally posted by Thomas "Ty" Beaham:
No, that's called a personal attack.
It's very typical of your behavior in this particular forum for the last several years.

LOL and BS! The guy has been married six years and says he's never had a vacation without her! If you call my response a personal attack after your "suck it up" post, you aren't on the net much! The internet means dealing with posts that don't agree with you and if you can't and get your panties in a big wad, then maybe you should take up knitting!

quote:

Originally posted by Big Wonderful Wyoming:
We have 3 kids under 5 years of age.

She needs to stay home with them.

It sounds like she is a stay at home mom.

Simply explain that you need this time to your self and you have made time for family vacations and will continue to do so, but this ain't one of them.

She might get pissy but if you cave you will never have hunting time for your self.

Next time you could try the Gale Johnson approach and tell her about the trip as you are walking out the door with the caveat of turn your phone off after leaving. (NOT RECOMMENDED FOR AMATEURS).

quote:

Originally posted by TREE 'EM:

quote:

Originally posted by Big Wonderful Wyoming:
We have 3 kids under 5 years of age.

She needs to stay home with them.

It sounds like she is a stay at home mom.

Simply explain that you need this time to your self and you have made time for family vacations and will continue to do so, but this ain't one of them.

She might get pissy but if you cave you will never have hunting time for your self.

Next time you could try the Gale Johnson approach and tell her about the trip as you are walking out the door with the caveat of turn your phone off after leaving. (NOT RECOMMENDED FOR AMATEURS).

Yep, yep, and yep! Love the 4th one, LOL!

Buy her one of those tee shirts that says "I have the p---y, I make the rules"

Or else you can quietly explain to her that it won't work that way. Ultimately, its my turn to be selfish and no you cannot tag along, nor will I commute. Just be honest.

If she is a good, kind, understanding woman, it will be okay. After a while, and lots of flowers. If not, there is always child support and alimony.

How bad do you want to go?

quote:

Which is why I wait (sometimes years) until I have the time and finances to include a scouting trip before I do a d.i.y. hunt.
That way, I know where to be long before sunrise so I don't spook the critters before I get a chance to shoot them...
Doing things any other way is just taking your rifle for a hike on a wish and a prayer you get lucky.

I agree 100%, but some folks, me for one, don't want to wait years so it is a case of getting the funds together and doing guided hunts.

This is a tough situation, married 6 years, 3 small children, I would not want to be in that situation.

quote:

Just had our 41st anniversary yesterday and I've been retired since 2002. I've been going out west in the Fall for 2-3 weeks to over two months every year and she just says have a good time and call me when you can. She knew what she was getting into in 1975 when she said I do and we've never looked back. I'm heading for WY and AZ on 8/27 and wont be back here until 11/3 and then the following week I'll head up north to our place 180 miles from here for the last two weeks of November for our MI rifle deer season. It's just another normal fall for me like it has been for many years.

Lora and I are fixing to celebrate our 24th., but our story sounds real similar to yours. Lora is my second wife, and we got married on August 29th. 1992. I was fixing to turn 42 and she was 30. She knew what she was getting into because I was scheduled to leave for Colorado for my first ever Guided Elk Hunt on October 3.

She wasn't real happy, but she knew it was going to happen. The kicker and one that could have really caused trouble, was that I hit it off really well with the guide and his family and my scheduled 9 day trip turned into two weeks. Lora was not real happy, but she understood what the hunt meant to me, and we did not have any small children to deal with.

Simply say that what she is proposing just will not work out this year.My Son had the same problem with his second wife.She threw a hissy fit when he told her we were going hunting to Montana with no wives.He then told her do you know why you are my second wife?Things did not work out with the first one.She now has a new point of view.OB

Chill fellas, Big Wonderful Wyoming has a real problem here. There is a point when the honey moon wears off as his is about to. And nobody wants child support and alimony (yes, I have paid mine, and yes it was mostly due to hunting and some do to fishing). BWW, as stated, honesty is the best policy. Explain. And then compensate i.e. flowers, kids at the grandparents for a weekend away just the two of you and such. That doesn't make you a pussy, that's taking care of your pussy. She needs to get away too, but that doesn't mean she gets to wreck your time. She'll understand.

quote:

Originally posted by Big Wonderful Wyoming:
We have been married for about 6 years next week.

For the majority of our lives other than a few short hunts when I lived in Australia, I have not taken a vacation with out her.

I drew a tag in Arizona and booked the lodging, and am going to be gone a week. She is already trying to turn it into a family vacation, and wants me to commute to the hunting area 80 miles back and forth each day, so she can stay in Tucson at a resort.

We just did a family vacation to San Diego and are doing another one to Disneyland in September.

How the hell do I get out of this bullshit?

Whatever you do don't let this opportunity (tag) slip away.
There are lots of folks in the know who would kill (or commute 80 miles one way ) for a chance to hunt whitetails on Fort Huachuca during the last two week's in December.
The bucks will be rutting hard. If it takes you more than a couple days to get it done with a rifle I would be surprised.
Good luck and Good hunting!

P.S. Thank you for volunteering your service to our country.


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Too late now but the smart thing to have done would be to have asked her about this BEFORE you put in for the drawing.

Hey "TY' what does it matter to you if this ends up in a divorce with several years worth of child support for the man to pay? It ain't gonna effect you now is it?

Do you honestly believe that a whitetail tag in Arizona is more important than a persons marriage?????

Exactly CHC.

Exactly.


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I missed my chance in 2011. I had a tag in 36 B or C, can't remember, and saw deer every day, but no bucks.

Had one walk up on me at 60 or 70 yards and tried every way I could to grow antlers on that bitch, didn't work.

May try it again sometime but I will go with a guide. To me the trophy will be just shooting a legal buck, don't care about numbers, just want to be able to say that I went to Arizona and shot a legal Coues Buck.

I remember reading your report.
I hope you make it back out this way again, and when you do more power to you.


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I would like to try it one more time. It is fantastic country. Everyone should try hunting it one time.