My girlfriend was helping on mechanical project when I asked for a screwdriver she asked: straight, phillips, or vodka.
We've been married for 37 years next month.

She got a sister

My wife just stands by and asks a lot of stupid questions!

Hip

I keep a bottle of perfume with lots of alcohol in it in the workshop.

I get gets and scratches and I put that on.

When I see my wife, she asks “what have done to yourself today?”

Because she smells the perfume!