The Accurate Reloading Forums
You might be a redneck....
You might be a redneck....
Anybody want to play? I'll start and see if I have the usual galvanizing effect as a leader. Extra points for originality.
You might be a redneck if...
You had an outdoor wedding at a Park n Ride lot, and some folks referred to it as a kegger.
01 July 2007, 06:06
SGraves155If your porch were to collapse, it would kill more than 3 dogs.
01 July 2007, 06:49
A/C guyIf you mow the lawn....... and find a car you didn't know you had.
01 July 2007, 07:08
Eland SlayerHere's one I made up from personal experience:
You might be a redneck if.... you have a box of nightcrawlers next to the leftovers in the refrigerator.
another personal experience.
Lived next to a trailer park and was envious of the nice homes the people in the park had.
If you own a gun and you are not a member of the NRA and other pro 2nd amendment organizations then YOU are part of the problem.
01 July 2007, 08:30
mustbhuntnif....you ever bought a mule on credit.
Yep. Done that.
01 July 2007, 10:07
Norman Conquestyou've had an automatic transmission in your bathtub.
Never mistake motion for action.
01 July 2007, 16:01
budicealeif you've ever owed the taxidermist more than you owed on your house
if you have a pellet gun leaned up next to the back door
if you go to a family reunion to pick up chicks
blaming guns for crime is like blaming silverware for rosie o'donnell being fat
If foreplay consists of "hey sis, you awake???:"
02 July 2007, 00:38
fla3006your family is Democrats cept little Mary who learnt how da read
NRA Life Member, Band of Bubbas Charter Member, PGCA, DRSS.
Shoot & hunt with vintage classics.
You and your wife have matching prison tattoos.
02 July 2007, 03:34
Bobby Tomekfrom personal experience...
You might be a redneck if you have to move guns and ammo from your kids car seats to make room for them to ride to town with you.
Bobby
Μολὼν λαβέ
The most important thing in life is not what we do but how and why we do it. - Nana Mouskouri
02 July 2007, 03:36
Bobby Tomekbudiceale wrote:
quote:
if you have a pellet gun leaned up next to the back door
Doesn't everyone do that?
Bobby
Μολὼν λαβέ
The most important thing in life is not what we do but how and why we do it. - Nana Mouskouri
If you made a douche bag for your wife using a truck innertube and some heater hose.
02 July 2007, 05:25
budicealequote:
Originally posted by Bobby Tomek:
budiceale wrote:
quote:
if you have a pellet gun leaned up next to the back door
Doesn't everyone do that?
i don't know about everybody, but i'm guilty of both the pellet gun thing and the taxidermist thing
blaming guns for crime is like blaming silverware for rosie o'donnell being fat
02 July 2007, 05:36
lee440If you clean your Glocks and carburetors in the dishwasher.
DRSS(We Band of Bubba's Div.)
N.R.A (Life)
T.S.R.A (Life)
D.S.C.
02 July 2007, 07:03
prof242If your mobile home cost less (or is worth less) than the 4x4 OR boat parked outside!
.395 Family Member
DRSS, po' boy member
Political correctness is nothing but liberal enforced censorship
02 July 2007, 08:06
SGraves155If you sometimes mow the yard with a bushhog.
If you ever beat your dog with a dead chicken.
If you shoot varmints from your front door.
If you keep spare old trucks just sitting in the shed incase you might someday need a part.
02 July 2007, 08:51
Idaho SharpshooterIf you think testing the new electronic dog collar you bought at Cabela's on yourself would be cool!
My nephew figured out he didn't want to hurt his dogs, just keep them closer. Soooo....he puts the collar on, gets in his new MegaCab, and has his wife hold the controller. He tells her he is going to drive down the road from her folks house in town, and for her to hit the button for one second every time he honks the horn. That way he can figure out how far the range is. He starts down the road, and hits the horn about 1/8 mile down. Next thing, I am at the ER trying to figure out what happened. It seems he honked, she hit the button, and he says he thought somebody popped him in the adams apple with a cattle prod. He liked to of passed out, and swerved across two lanes into oncoming traffic. Four or five people start laying on their horns and his wife leans on the button fullauto! He runs off the road, right thru somebody's picture window and into their living room on the roof of the truck. He came to in the ER with a broken arm, several cracked ribs, and 3rd degree burns around 100% of his neck. I think he might be a redneck.
Rich
DRSS
02 July 2007, 09:27
SGraves155quote:
Originally posted by Idaho Sharpshooter:
If you think testing the new electronic dog collar you bought at Cabela's on yourself would be cool!
My nephew figured out he didn't want to hurt his dogs, just keep them closer. Soooo....he puts the collar on, gets in his new MegaCab, and has his wife hold the controller. He tells her he is going to drive down the road from her folks house in town, and for her to hit the button for one second every time he honks the horn. That way he can figure out how far the range is. He starts down the road, and hits the horn about 1/8 mile down. Next thing, I am at the ER trying to figure out what happened. It seems he honked, she hit the button, and he says he thought somebody popped him in the adams apple with a cattle prod. He liked to of passed out, and swerved across two lanes into oncoming traffic. Four or five people start laying on their horns and his wife leans on the button fullauto! He runs off the road, right thru somebody's picture window and into their living room on the roof of the truck. He came to in the ER with a broken arm, several cracked ribs, and 3rd degree burns around 100% of his neck. I think he might be a redneck.
Rich
DRSS
02 July 2007, 11:11
LRH270If you ever pissed on an electric fence
Don't ask.
______________________
RMEF Life Member
SCI
DRSS
Chapuis 9,3/9,3 + 20/20
Simson 12/12/9,3
Zoli 7x57R/12
Kreighoff .470/.470
We band of 9,3ers!
The Few. The Pissed. The Taxpayers.
02 July 2007, 16:31
HamishGidday LRH270,
Nah mate that just means your a bloody silly townie. No country boy has done that since he turned five years old.
Happy Hunting
Hamish
02 July 2007, 20:08
budicealeyer dad and yer granddad are the same guy
blaming guns for crime is like blaming silverware for rosie o'donnell being fat
02 July 2007, 20:10
budicealeyou like BOTH kinds of music....country AND western
blaming guns for crime is like blaming silverware for rosie o'donnell being fat
02 July 2007, 20:12
budicealepart of your morning routine involves brushing your tooth
blaming guns for crime is like blaming silverware for rosie o'donnell being fat
02 July 2007, 20:39
onefunzr2quote:
Originally posted by Idaho Sharpshooter:
If you think testing the new electronic dog collar you bought at Cabela's on yourself would be cool!
My nephew figured out he didn't want to hurt his dogs, just keep them closer. Soooo....he puts the collar on, gets in his new MegaCab, and has his wife hold the controller. He tells her he is going to drive down the road from her folks house in town, and for her to hit the button for one second every time he honks the horn. That way he can figure out how far the range is. He starts down the road, and hits the horn about 1/8 mile down. Next thing, I am at the ER trying to figure out what happened. It seems he honked, she hit the button, and he says he thought somebody popped him in the adams apple with a cattle prod. He liked to of passed out, and swerved across two lanes into oncoming traffic. Four or five people start laying on their horns and his wife leans on the button fullauto! He runs off the road, right thru somebody's picture window and into their living room on the roof of the truck. He came to in the ER with a broken arm, several cracked ribs, and 3rd degree burns around 100% of his neck. I think he might be a redneck.
Rich
DRSS
Is this another made-up yarn like
Wheatstone's Bridge?
"Fluting a barrel does increase flex resistance, it's an engineering thing known as Wheatstone's Bridge. The principle being that as you add reinforcement to a span it increases the rigidity and strength. Fluting adds ribs to the barrel which are more resistant to barrel whip than an unfluted barrel of the same diameter. A six-flute cut will nearly triple the cooling surface...which slows heating and increases the cooling. Done wrong it induces barrel flex under the flute-cutter pressure as it mills the barrel one flute at a time."
02 July 2007, 23:00
KSTEPHENSIf the local high school footballs first string has full beards.
AND theres little kids at the friday night games that run down the sidelines yelling "get 'em daddy".
03 July 2007, 19:02
Ole Miss GuyThe homemade ice cream is turnip flavored.
03 July 2007, 19:48
JarrodYou and some more people line up in a row and let your brother jump over you on a dirtbike. If he makes the jump then you add more people and let him jump again.
"Science only goes so far then God takes over."
If your mother has ever run in to the dinning romm during Thanksgiving dinner, yelling, come take a look at this, kids, before I flush it!!!!
03 July 2007, 23:29
budicealeif, at the family reunion, the pissin-fer-distance contest was won by aunt martha.
blaming guns for crime is like blaming silverware for rosie o'donnell being fat
04 July 2007, 00:28
FRANKIE2000If you have ever been on COPS for domestic disturbance.
04 July 2007, 00:34
budicealeif yer mama has ever cussed out the highway patrolman without taking the marlboro out of her mouth
blaming guns for crime is like blaming silverware for rosie o'donnell being fat
If you put on underwear for special occassions.
04 July 2007, 02:31
Idaho Sharpshootermy wife's youngest brother married a gal from Kentucky, and convinced him to move back there and farm with her dad. Last summer my wife and sister and mother in-law decided to go see Ralph. They get to the house and the brother-in-law throws a big party, they roasted a hog and fifty chickens.
One of his neighbors is there with his new wife or a couple months. Ralph (according to all three ladies) asks Billy Bob where his false teeth are. His ex-wife was waitressing at a truck stop and ran off with some JB Hunt driver.
So, he's wife shopping and Ralph's wife suggests he might have better luck if he got dentures. So he does, and it works. Fast forward to the party, and...no false teeth. Ralph asks where the teeth are, and Billy Bob says that he has a wife now and doesn't need to wear them anymore.
I swear this is the gospel truth!!
Rich
DRSS
04 July 2007, 05:54
prof242You may be a redneck if you've ever gone fishing and used dynamite.
.395 Family Member
DRSS, po' boy member
Political correctness is nothing but liberal enforced censorship
04 July 2007, 06:41
rabbithabitIf you have sang at the opening of a new Walmart.
If you have painted the wheels on your homemade motorhome with spray paint. My son painted the wheels and my neice did the singing.
quote:
If you shoot varmints from your front door.
Damn, I never considered myself a redneck.
04 July 2007, 21:29
Jarrodquote:
Originally posted by prof242:
You may be a redneck if you've ever gone fishing and used dynamite.
Reminds me of that Jerry Clower joke about one of the ledbetter that was catching fish and nobody else was catching anything. I think it was Marcel but can't remember for sure, but anyway it was one of them ledbetter's. Anyway for those of you that haven't heard it.
Anyway the game warden goes fishing with him. So anyway the get out in the boat and the game warden says ok I want you to show me how you are catching all these fish when they can't nobody else catch none. So Marcel reaches down gets a stick of dynamite lights the fuze. Game warden says you can't do that that's illegal. He hands the stick of dynamite to the game warden. Game warden says that's illegal you can't do that. (During this time the dynamite is in the game warden's hand the fuze burning down). Marcel says you gonna set there and argue or fishh?
If it wasn't Marcel im not sure but either way you should get the point. and it is much funnier to hear Jerry Clower tell it.
"Science only goes so far then God takes over."
.....if:
You have personalized license plates because your uncle made them for you.
06 July 2007, 02:26
LRH270Remember Brice, you were going to have him make me a set.
Yeah, but what would you do with a set of Washington plates?
06 July 2007, 06:10
prof242Jarrod, I've got that Jerry Clower tape. Bought it when I lived in Hattiesburg, MS, for a year.
You may be a redneck if you've got three appliances on the front porch that don't run and two on the back porch that do...and are in use.
.395 Family Member
DRSS, po' boy member
Political correctness is nothing but liberal enforced censorship
06 July 2007, 08:36
Jarrodquote:
Originally posted by prof242:
Jarrod, I've got that Jerry Clower tape. Bought it when I lived in Hattiesburg, MS, for a year.
You may be a redneck if you've got three appliances on the front porch that don't run and two on the back porch that do...and are in use.
prof242, I though it was hilarious, especially to hear him tell it.
I did have it until some teenagers pieces of crap stole it out of my car along with the rest of my cd's, digital camera, then they decided to take my hammer and 4 way lug wrench while they were at it
I know what you mean about the appliances. I know several people like that lol.
"Science only goes so far then God takes over."
07 July 2007, 06:07
jimatcatyou might be a redneck if.... you have 2 tvs in the same room... sitting on top of 1 another... 1 to watch,.. the other to listen to....
go big or go home ........
DSC-- Life Member
NRA--Life member
DRSS--9.3x74 r Chapuis
08 July 2007, 19:26
KSTEPHENSif you ever heard of Jerry Clower.
08 July 2007, 21:34
Jarrodquote:
Originally posted by KSTEPHENS:
if you ever heard of Jerry Clower.
"Science only goes so far then God takes over."
09 July 2007, 02:33
KSTEPHENSif youve ever defended your mothers honor in the waffle house parking lot.
if you do the majority of your xmas shopping at the flying J.
09 July 2007, 03:39
1875SharpsShooterIf going to the bathroom at night requires a flashlight and shoes.
Whatdaya mean...........there's other calibers besides 45-70
09 July 2007, 10:01
nelsonted1If you get divorced but you're still legally brother and sister