A local judge has ruled that the states first unrestricted cat hunting season can soon begin in the El Rancho Mobile Home Park. Wildlife officials have sanctioned the hunt because of the approval of the citizens of El Rancho in view of the damage inflicted on the said citizens because of untold dozens of wild cats pawing over cars, spraying kids toys laying in the yards, crapping in the sandboxes and flowerpots, and the possibility of feline flu mutating to the nearby democrats. Everyone also believed it would be a lot of fun. Weapons are not limited to high powered pellet rifles, .22's, shotguns with lead shot, flintlocks, and fish spears. Morty Cratwhacke, Chief biologist for the M.H.P. said, "Plus we join the list of parks all across the nation, allowing citizens to defend themselves, indeed to go in hot pursuit, except those in Canuckistan, and Caleefornicatia. Wild cats are commonly known as ferals, ranch cougars, felions, lap lynxes, porch panthers, and in many places, crats". The season was set to start on January 2, 2006.

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the possibility of feline flu mutating to the nearby democrats.

I thought that mutation was already complete. Take a hard look at Feinstein. I need to ponder the rest, it is ripe with potential.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.HotelElRancho.MobileHomePark

NS I would like to book a guided hunt somewhere around opening day if possible!

I have plenty of large cal shoulder mounted cannons and the ammo to match!

I think a 140 grain TSX moving at around 3475 from my RUM should fit the bill.
Or maybe a 200 grain Wildcat custom sneaking out of my RUM at 3k or so??
If not how bout a 140 TSX moving at 3185 from my 7mm SAUM.
OR a 169.5 Wildcat custom moving approximatly 3450 from my custom 270 Allen magnum (once it's finished of course)

Too much gun you say Huh? How bout I bring my 10-22 ruger and some cheap 22long rifle's and we get our shoot on?

Pardon the slang I got carried away!

Hey 7 Rumloader. I'd bet there are several M.H.P.s in your area where you could get a park permit for the opener. I recommend regular G.I. ammocans for storing your reloads. Goo dHunting!.

Rumloader, I am experimenting with 110 gr. TNT's in my 7 WSM. The speed limit for this bullet is about 3500 according to speer, which is about as fast as I can push em. The experiment is going to take awhile, since there is a shortage of test specimens. My goal is vaporization like that video of 'splodin chucks that was going around.
So far, I think the bullet maybe needs to go faster, which you would be able to do.

I think you are spot on with your choices of caliber and cartridge, but for crats, I suggest a lightly contructed bullet for more 'effect'

Just read an article in the San Antonio Express-News about the folks at the Nimitz Museum in Fredericksburg, TX who have asked the city animal control folks to come and trap the ferals. Folks who visit the museum are somewhat "put off" by the souvenirs that the local crats leave in the "assault beach" display. The trappees are held for a short time, and if no one claims them, they are euthanized (sounds like a source of target material?). Of course, the local animal lover who feeds all the ferals in the creek bottom says they should be trapped, "fixed" and released back into their "home." They also recently ran a story about a woman who had a "complex"--she had over 400 crats in her house (and only about half were alive). Can you imagine?

Ned,,can I bring my frog gig for close in stuff?For some reason lately,,,I've had the urge to spoike something .Dan,,I saw that witch on tv a while ago,,that thing is scary in looks and words,,and a couple of more ways that possibly goes into the 5th dimension,,Reminded me of the "emporer" from star wars,,Peace and roadkill grease!!!!!!!!!Clay

bring the cat mulcher and we could do a series of paintings to beautify the interiors of these mobile homes so that humanity can be bettered and nothing goes to waste. the special one time series could be named "kitty litter" or "cat-astrophy" "why domestic pets and jet engines dont mix" maybe with this new set of pictures they might find the inspiration to rise up against the socio-economic constraints and live prosperous exceptional lives.

also what will a taxadermist charge for a shoulder, half and full mount? i think a nice full stalking pose mount would be nice

I think the cause would be best served by arranging an auction of these new age canvasses and using the proceeds to turbocharge the Cat'O'Matic and lease additional gallery space.

This could very well become a self sustaining crusade.

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They also recently ran a story about a woman who had a "complex"--she had over 400 crats in her house (and only about half were alive). Can you imagine?

I know which half be the 'good kitties'.

Now mixing jet engines and crats...always thought more highly of the engines than that...in the past...I'll ask some friends of mine that still fly Hueys if they ever found out about a crat under the hood on startup... Probably some evidence on the tail boom I'd think.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.PrattAndWhitney.Soufle

we could automate to catsplash the masses...

set up a conveyorbelt to match up canvas to catspray then onto the laquer spray to seal in the goodness.

we could get the art down to about $10 a unit. producing 1000 pieces a day. the added benefit would be keeping the cat population in check. if we have more demand from overseas we would need to have catfarms. with hormones we could get a cat up to "spray-weight" in 6mo. but the unit cost would go up to about $50. in about 5 years we could go public and have an ipo of about $30 a share with the added revenue we could dominate the catvangogh market worldwide. market research shows high demand in asia but i want the production here in the u.s.

I am not seeking to enrich myself with fame or money in this kind of thing, but rather to perform a needed public service for my fellow citizens. I suggest caution however in attracting too much attention to one's good deeds. What if a world wide art craze were to start? What if cats disappeared and libs started treating them as rare like spotty owls? or snail farter fish? Then what?