In a few minutes I will be leaving for the weekend, pickup and Hewes skiff in tow, heading for the annual family get together. We will travel down US 98 to Lake Placid, a road that for all of my years in the Windy State remains untraveled. I know I will see new vistas, and probably lots of crats.

The question is, can I do a 6-wheel drift with that rig while in hot pursuit? It is fair to use the remote on the 150 Suzuki for starting when in the terminal phase of CATastrophic Crat Carnage? Do you think Emmy Lou Wilson will understand when I slide thru the rose bed? Do I get extra credit if the prop sprays chunks on the veranda? So many unanswered questions...

Stay tuned, film at eleven.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.OffWe.Go!

Consider trolling on the way?

I dunno Dan, a Hewes is a mighty fine boat to risk getting scratched by flailing crat claws...but if your fishing goes anything like mine recently (can you see a 6" deep oyster reef at 40mph? Nope!) any nicks in the prop will be rapidly polished away by a sandbar or two! They are easily washed though, so any splatter from the rear tires would be of no concern...

Danno,

Instead of wrecking your rig, just line up a bunch of ready-to-go Molotov Cocktails on your dash or in the cup holders. Fling them out the window as necessary. Even your wife can join in the fun!

Oh migosh! You suprise me with such an incindiary statement, Ann!

Ann, I really like that idea, and after the wifey read it she wondered off to the kitchen looking for spare frangible containers. I did have to pull the bottle of George out of the box, it weren't empty yet(hic!), but we're gettin' there.

So, I didn't see on friggin' crat on the entire trip. Not countin' the one the lady that ran the resort had. Big plush Persian. I think that heritage bears watchin' and when the gal turned her back I slipped the kitty a live bream! "Oh what fun!" he seemed to say, and by the end of the first day he would hop on the boat with drooling anticipation when I rattled the live well lid.

Just after lunch on the second day we had finished the fishing tournament, and decided to do some skiing. Sweet little Tiffany(7 yr old niece) had grown fond of "Herbie" and asked if he could go too? "Of course!", sez me, "But let's save the best for last!" She is so cute when she smiles, "Okay! Best for last!"

Two hours later I had worn out 7 young folks with the ski thingy, and went back to the dock, dropped 'em off, then helped sweet little Tiffany on board. She giggled and rattled the live well lid. Tif is very observant and very bright. Presto! Herbie hops on board and into Tif's lap as we leave the dock. I made sure we weren't observed.

Kids are so funny....'bout half way out into the lake she said, "Let's teach Herbie to ski!" "Well I think that would be grand Tiffany, but how would we make the skis fit?" "Oh," she sez, "that won't be a problem, he'll barefoot ski I'll bet!" Before I could even think "OMG, the kid's a genius!" she had whipped a clove hitch on Herbie's neck(she paid attention to her nautical dad) and chucked him over the side with the ski rope. Never quite heard a cat noise like that before...

Now I had considered slow trolling with Herbie for gators, but the idea of skip trolling with him like he was marlin bait never crossed my mind. The tach said 4200 rpm at that point in the boat ride, and my sweet little Mensa Miss was right of course. Herbie didn't need skis! I'm not sure he ever did get his paws in the water, but all the rest of him did very well. Crats seem to have an inate ability to water ski, just like the trick skiers at Cypress Gardens! On his back, his belly, the top of his head, his ass...I gotta tell ya, I gave ol' Herbie a 10 on that run! Of course Tif was cheering him on too, "Look Uncle Dan! Herbie got up on the very first try!"

After two runs around the lake though, she said he was getting tired so we headed in to the beach. I kinda did a slingshot turn with him at the end so he could do like those trick skiers do, you know, go right up to the beach without getting wet? Of course Herbie was wet, but he skipped right up the beach, and when the rope went tight around that Royal Palm the clove hitch came undone, and he cartwheeled right up into the bushes in front of Cabin #3.

After giving me a high five little Tif was all business though, and we had the boat tied up in only a few minutes. She thanked me for the ride, gave me a big hug and ran up the dock to where everybody was reunionucating. Damn, what a terrific family I have...I am blessed in ways I can barely describe!

Up in the bushes I saw a wet rag of a crat tail move. I rattled the lid on the live well, the bushes exploded and Herbie bolted for the office. Didn't see him again for the remainder of the stay, and for some reason the manager lady was kinda stand-offish when we checked out. Tiffany told me before we left that she hadn't told anyone about "Herbie's Great Adventure", and thought maybe I shouldn't either. "'Cept for your friends at AR, they're okay!" Love that little girl!

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.SkydivingMight.BeNext

Speaking of trolling for gators....

One of my cousins in Florida got a new ski boat and wanted to try it out. He had a friend that loved to water ski that happened to be of African origin. My cousin wasn't watching where he was going and ran through an area restricted to swimming only. The local sheriff's water patrol caught up with him and was going to issue a citation until my cousing explained that they weren't water skiing, they were trolling for alligators. The sheriff couln't stop laughing enough to complete the citation and told them to get the hell out of there.

'Tis a sport unknown to Yankees, even some of the transplants that live in my town. In fact, it is seldom practiced north of a line from Montgomery to Savannah. No wonder they tend to be so dower.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.CrapN.TennisShoes