With all the rhetoric and bad mouthing going around on AR lately, I'm honestly sick of it. AR has been a wonderful experience for many of us, and it brought a lot of us face to face over the years and some great friendships became of it. All due to this web site, Saeed so graciously gives us all....FOR FREE! This morning while I felt my own frown growing longer over the "Zim cancellations" thread, I came across MJines reply as to "what if's" and I'm still laughing. Thanks Mike, I needed it That made me think about what the most ridiculous reasons to ruin a hunt to Africa could be??? Anyone wanting to join in, please do. I only ask you keep it in the frame I intended for: to make us ALL laugh!

REASONS WE MIGHT HAVE OUR HUNT CANCELED TO AFRICA!
1. Arriving late at Dulles to catch my SAA flight to Jo'burg, I was running down the escalator to make up time. Suddenly I was airborne and the next thing I remember, I woke up in the Hospital two days later. A police Detective was at my bedside and informed me they had arrested a group of Alaskan King Crab that had escaped from the the TV show: Deadliest Catch. They were disgruntled over low pay and rough working conditions, so they escaped via air cargo and made their way to Dulles. Working in pairs, they disguised themselves as large clumps of chewing gum along the rails of the airports escalators, tripping unsuspecting travelers and taking their pocket change and watches once they fell unconscious. If found guilty, the Crab's could be boiled and served at the Policeman's Ball.

2. By mistake, your airline ticket was incorrectly printed and you wound up on flight 9999 and landed in Antarctica just in time for the 2009 PETA Gay and Lesbian conference on how to force feed Penguin chicks Vegamite. Bad news is: the departure flight doesn't return for six months.

3. Mid-morning on the first day of your Big 4 hunt, the Larium your taking starts to make you hallucinate. The next thing you know your shoving banana's up your double rifle tubes and killing the charging hordes of Elephino's, Deadly Cobblers and Apple Python's that are hanging from your PH's ear's. By the time they get your in a straight jacket, Mike Tyson is tattooing imagines of Pamala Sue Anderson on your butt cheeks. Now ain't that a Peach!

Say Cheese
LDK

My ticket to Zimbabwe was numbered 666-666-666. I had a devil of a time getting it changed.

While rushing through the concourse, I literally ran into Cindy Garrison, who fell on top of me. We had an existential awakening and decided to go instead to Rio and live a life of leisure as one, her leaving Quickshot's dreams from a previous thread.

I bought the only winning meg million lotto ticket and cancelled my 14 day safari so I could cash my billion dollar ticket, have time to tell those that need it to kiss my backside and schedule month long safaris in numerous locations instead, with just enough time to sign the papers on my new ranch before my new Falcon 50 personal jet leaves for Africa,,,,....

1)I decided it wasn't going to be any fun

2) I didn't want to miss the final episode of American Idol

Somebody check on Mike...he's not well!

1. I found out my .375 H&H was not enough gun.

2. Rumor has it all of the elephants have been painted pink.

My plane crashes on a mysterious island and instead of trying to be rescued and go on my safari I decide to stay and join the DHARMA Initiative……

You’ve got to watch "Lost" to get this one…

Being a proctologist, and a forensics expert in that area, I was required to cancel my flight to Africa, because at the last minute, I was called upon to fly to Texas, per court order, and examine Mike after he was found unconscious, babbling and bleeding in the YFZ Texas compound. Upon examination, I could find no thong, but plenty of other evidence that he had been taken as the 28th wife of a cousin of Warren Jeffs.

Whoa, that tightened up my backside for sure. May have to use a pry bar to open those muscles up again.

I decided I would rather work doubles for a week instead. Luckily the alarm clock woke me from that nightmare.

I was going until I read Jerry Huffakers post, I couldn't miss American Idol and then there Dancing with the Stars, I just can't get away this year.

Some of you (Mike especially) need professional help.

I cancelled my trip when I was told that my expert witness testimony in a civil suit was much more important than any vacation.

(Sadly this is true)

Sadly, when in Namibia last year, the American Idol winner was on the front page of a German language newspaper that made its way to camp.

So you won't escape it, even there.

Mike got professional help. Didn't you read my post?