I'm flying SAA to Joburg, then on to Beira the next day, also SAA. Apparently I must claim my rifles and have them stored overnight. I'll stay at Afton. Any ideas on how to avoid the hassle?

Brice-

It's been discussed a while back

https://forums.accuratereloading.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/8121043/m/812108956

and

https://forums.accuratereloading.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/8121043/m/426106236

I'm in the same boat for the night of July 21. When are you there?

Les

Hi LRH,
I leave August 19. Glad you responded, gives me a chance to float an idea that came to me a while back. Most of the folks here go to Africa, or at least hunting somewhere every year. While they're gone, they've got an empty house that another AR member could enjoy. As an example, you live in Vegas, a nice place to vacation. And, knowing that you're going to Tanzania, you've probably got a few bucks and a nice house. I could use it while you're gone, do some quality control consultation on your humidor, bar and wine cellar, make sure your car battery doesn't go dead.

On the other hand, when you come back, you could visit Seattle in August. I've got a pretty nice house and two cars. (Both have jumper cables.) That's about the time the gay, lesbian and transgendered community has their annual celebration in the Broadway district. Even the mayor and police chief are in the Pride parade. It's quite a sight, sure you'd enjoy it. We live close to Broadway. You could walk if neither of the cars will start. The house is real comfortable, even if it is close to the freeway. My wife snores pretty loud, so you can't hear it anyways. (She's not going to Mozambique with me.) Doctor told her to lose some weight. If you want to stay in, there's a pretty good library under my side of the bed. (You can tell where the good parts are-the pages are stuck together.)

I'm sure we could work something out. Will Linda be there in August?

Brice-

It's a great idea but I think you've made a few incorrect assumptions:

1. To finance the TZ trip I had to sell the wheels right off my house trailer, so you wouldn't be able to go anywhere.....

2. Ever heard of it's a dry heat? In July it's REALLY dry!!! 'course, you could get the power turned back on and wet it up some. Is that what you folks up there call a humid-or?

3. The wine cellar's pretty well stocked; I just got a new box of the red stuff last payday from Costco. It's pretty good if you add some 7-up!!! Linda's not here right now, so it survived the weekend.

4. I'd sure appreciate your putting a battery in "my" car. It's parked around the corner. I'll leave you the screwdriver I use to start it. Just remember, if the cops stop you, you don't know me.

5. I'm not sure where Linda will be in August. When she was younger I'd say just tell her you're a friend of mine and pay cash, but these days you have to "schedule" her through Mexican Mafia Mike, her old man.

What exactly is a transamendangered community? Is that like when Burt Reynolds drives his Firebird through a whole bunch of houses?????

Let's talk.....

Les

Howdy Les,
What an honor. You made your 500th post to me! I knew we'd get along just fine.

Don't worry too much about the cars here. There's a slim jim hanging in the hall closet, and most of my neighbors park on the street. We don't have car theft here in Washington. They call it "unathorized something or other" and it takes about a dozen convictions before they send you to jail. No shit, it's great.

Also in the hall closet will be a bunch of rain gear. It doesn't rain a lot in August, just enough to piss off the Californicators. There'll be some duck tape there, too.

Speaking of the neighbors, you want to be a little careful. My neighbor on the west is a yid that runs a film school. He takes the New York Times EVERY DAY. I've borrowed it a few times when I had to crawl under the car. The guy on the east side is a playright. I think he works for Hugh Hefner or something like that. I'm not sure, and he doesn't seem to want to talk to me about it. Maybe he's embarrassed. Anyway, all the neighbors got Gore/Edwards bumper stickers, except where they've put the Hillary in '08 ones over 'em.

If ya wanna go shootin' there's lots of guns in the basement. Use whatever you want. I do suggest that you back the car up to the front door to load 'em. These neighbors are real touchy about guns. Especially since last New Year's.

My wife doesn't know yet that I'm goin' to Africa again. She hasn't gotten her latest credit card bill. By the time you get here she should be cooled down a little. We got Costco's here, too, and she likes that red stuff. No 7 Up, though. Everclear works better on her. Unless you're real small, she probly won't notice the difference. She's not like Linda. At her age she's grateful for whatever she gets. Oh, I forgot to tell you. Give her one drink then make her take a shower before she gets the second one.

I can see I'm goin to have a hard time explainin that transgendered thing to ya. Maybe it's too dry down there for 'em. You'll find out on your own, though. Just drive slow around Broadway at night. Fifty bucks is usually enough.

Well, I gotta ring off. Sure glad we got together. I know it'll be great. Send me your phone number. I'll give you a call when I can get mine turned back on.
Brice

Brice-

Hey, 500 posts! Maybe that's why my wrist is so sore.

Or maybe not.

I think we're getting close to a deal here.

1. Do you have any small farm animals on your property? How tame are they?

2. Will your wife have her credit card paid off by August?

3. I think Slim Jim is the best too, but why do you keep your beef jerky hanging in the closet? Is that something to do with the transamendangered thingy?

4. What's "rain gear"? Is that how fast you drive in the rain?

5. I think I have cooler neighbors than you. I don't believe they called the cops at all this weekend!

6. What is it I have to do for the $50?

7. You're welcome to shoot anything around here, too. Try to start with the neighbor's cat. In case my probation officer is reading this, just kidding, they aren't my guns. What guns?

Call me whenever, (702) 836-1917. Ask for Jenna.

Les

Hey Brice-

Are you OK?

We thought you were going to call. It's over a day and we haven't heard from you!!!

Now my secretary Jenna is worried if you're sick or got hit by a truck or something! That's just the way she is; always being the "mom" in the office here.

Anyway, she thought you might just be real bashful (I may have told her about your "library" under the bed) and that you would be more comfortable calling if you knew who you were talking to, so she asked me to post her business card since it had her picture on it. Isn't that just so thoughtful of her????? I think the picture is from our office Christmas party, or payday, or some other occasion.

Anyway, here's little Jenna:







Now give us a call and don't be such a stranger!!!

Les

Hi Les,
I was going to call, but there's been a little mix-up with the phone company.

That's a real nice picture! Is that your wife or your daughter, or does it matter? Sounds like you run your own company. Is she wearing the company uniform? I take it the star is your logo. Pretty classy.

I think you misunderstood when I mentioned a slim jim. It ain't that kind of tool. And it's got nothin to do with jerky, or whatever it is that you call it down there. (Up here, real men don't talk about it.)

You asked about small animals-aren't a lot of em. We're right smack (not that kind of smack) in the city, got a little bitty lot. Little critters are limited to rats and mice, some possums and the occassional coon, I mean raccoon. We do go to Montana a couple times a year. There's pd's in the spring, deer in the fall, etc. (We don't talk much about the etc., either.)

You seem to be confused about the transgendered thing. Guess you folks down there ain't so sofisticated. It's hard to explain, but they're kinda like a Swiss Army knife for the bedroom.

Speaking of neighbors, mine are pretty nice, too. Couple days ago my neighbor on the west sent his XXXXXX gardner YOU CAN'T USE THAT WORD. SAEED. over to my my front lawn. Found his old lawnmower, too. And his wife's cat, but it was pretty far gone, and the 22 didn't leave a very big hole. Cops weren't here long. Unfortunately, when they cut the corn and weeds they also got the good stuff. That's why we have a back yard, too. There should be a pretty good crop when you get here.

I got something real special in the works for your visit-your very own Washington state license plate: "LRH270". How about that? My son makes'em for me. Oh, you asked about my wife's credit card balance. Don't worry, she'll have a few more when you get here. There's lot of 'em in mail boxes.

I'll call soon as I can.
Brice