THE BEST CAT STORY

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter
how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am
lying.
On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway
because the truth was too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had
sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel like coming in the
next day. By then, I thought, I could think up a doozy to explain
the bandage on my crown.
The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my
wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.
Initially, the new acquisition was no
problem, but one morning I was taking my shower after
breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.
"Ed!!
The garbage disposal is dead. Come and reset it."
"You know where the button is," I protested through the
shower (pitter-patter). "Reset it yourself!
"I am scared!" she pleaded. "What if it starts going and
sucks me in?" (Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."
So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to
make statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without
consequence.
I crouched down and stuck my head under the
sink to find the button.
It is the last action I remember performing.
It struck without warning, without any respect to my
circumstances. Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its
gnashing metal teeth.
It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling
objects she spied between my legs.
She had been poised around the corner and
stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At
precisely thesecond I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I
unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.
I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily
movements, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed, with the f ull
weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight"
syndrome.
Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight"
option.
Fleeing straight up, the sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the
impact knocked me out cold.
When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.
Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried
t o c onduct their work while suppressing hysterical laughter.
At the office, my colleagues tried to coax an explanation
out of me.
I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about.
"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"
If they had only known!

damn the luck.same shit happened to me when I was sleeping. Supprise Attack. That is something I will be seeking revenge for.

Great story
I love happy endings . Let my little friend know there is a spot open in my army any time he/she wants it .

Back To The Bowl
Birman