Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the Ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns


Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood
pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy
fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic


Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic


Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada


Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Google


Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?
Sincerely,
1985


Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're mostly dead.
Sincerely,
BP Oil


Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God


Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed


Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder


Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people


Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin


Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere


Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies


Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol


Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because
some Spanish dirtbags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans


Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans


Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You
piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User


Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

Great Post.

The stevie wonder one tickles my funny bone for some reason!

I'll quibble about the Mayan one, the mayan civilization collapased several centuries before the Spanish showed up.

The Spanish only even encountered the Aztecs of Mexico and the Inca's of Peru.

And the RUINS of the mayan civilization

AD

Allan,

you need to work on your warped sense of humor. It is obvious here that it is not nearly warped enough to enjoy...

Don't you just hate it when people do stuff like that.