11 October 2011, 08:15
nvmichaelTHE BEST SHORT LETTERS
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the Ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood
pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy
fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Google
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?
Sincerely,
1985
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're mostly dead.
Sincerely,
BP Oil
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God
Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed
Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because
some Spanish dirtbags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You
piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant
13 October 2011, 21:32
calgarychef1The stevie wonder one tickles my funny bone for some reason!
11 November 2011, 08:34
Allan DeGrootI'll quibble about the Mayan one, the mayan civilization collapased several centuries before the Spanish showed up.
The Spanish only even encountered the Aztecs of Mexico and the Inca's of Peru.
And the RUINS of the mayan civilization
AD
11 November 2011, 09:22
Idaho SharpshooterAllan,
you need to work on your warped sense of humor. It is obvious here that it is not nearly warped enough to enjoy...
11 November 2011, 22:11
wasbeemanDon't you just hate it when people do stuff like that.