YOU KNOW YOU'RE WHITE TRASH WHEN...
> >
> >1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth
> >than your spouse.
> >
> >2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the
> >dinner table in front of her kids.
> >
> >3. You've been married three times and still have the
> >same in-laws.
> >
> >4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls
> >on a different night.
> >
> >5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired
> >people."
> >
> >6. You wonder how service stations keep their
> >restrooms so clean.
> >
> >7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying,
> >"Hey y'all watch this."
> >
> >8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
> >
> >9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling
> >fan.
> >
> >10. Your junior prom had a daycare.
> >
> >11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled
> >Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."
> >
> >12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
> >exploded right off its wheels.
> >
> >13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up/down,
> >depending on how much gas is in it.
> >
> >14. You have to go outside to get something from the
> >fridge.
> >
> >15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
> >
> >16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get
> >a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
> >
> >17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because
> >there's a law against it.
> >
> >18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your
> >wife drunk.
> >
> >19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
> >
> >20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend
> >hits the floor.
> >
> >21. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they
> >all say Cool Whip on the side.
> >
> >22. If the biggest city you've ever been to is
> >Walmart.
> >
> >23. If your working T.V. sits on top of your
> >non-working T.V.
> >
> >24. If you thought the Una-bomber was a wrestler.
> >
> >25. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet
> >table.
> >
> >26. If you think a quarter horse is that ride out in
> >front of the K-Mart.
> >
> >27. If your neighbors think you're a detective because
> >a cop always brings you home.
> >
> >28. If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does
> >$100,000 dollars worth of improvement.
> >
> >29. If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back
> >scratcher.
> >
> >30. If you've ever asked the preacher "How's it
> >hangin?"
> >
> >31. If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had
> >jury duty.
> >
> >32. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65
> >mph.
> >
> >33. If somebody tells you that you've got something in
> >your teeth and you take them out to see what it is...
> >
> >34. If you've ever stared at a can of orange juice
> >because it said concentrate.
> >
> >35. If you've ever been too drunk to fish.
> >
> >36. If you don't understand why the first 35 are
> >funny.

37 YOU ASK WHERE THE KILL ZONE IS ON A CAT.......

I know those people!!

My half-brother/cousin/brother-in-law might take offense to this...

[ 08-31-2003, 22:59: Message edited by: Marterius ]

#38. If you have ever filled your deer tag on a golf course.

Actually Jack Daniel is on my list of most admired people...

DGK

#39 if you've ever sold ammo at a yard sale.

(Im waiting to see how many people say "hey, I've done that")

Ive bought ammo at a yard sale as well as guns, never sold tho

Rock

You hit the lottery and look forward to buying a double-wide.

#40. If you go to a family reunion to pick up women.

41. if you owe your taxidermist more than you owe on your house.

42. if you keep a pellet gun standing next to the back door.

43. if you've ever shot a deer while in bed

44. if your wife has to scream "somebody come move this transmission!!" before she can take a bath.

45. if none of your teeth match up with another tooth

46. if your wife wins the friday night, pissin-fer-distance contest

47. if your lawn furniture use to be your living room furniture

48. if you think a set of luggage is 7 piggly wiggly sacks and a ice chest with duct tape around it

cheers...bud

[ 09-06-2003, 19:35: Message edited by: budiceale ]

#49. Your best hunting stories start out "well I rolled the winder down real quiet like"

Hell, I do owe my taxidermist more than I owe on my house. That dosnt make me white trash. It does however make my taxidermist rich!

mike smith....yes some of these hit a little close to home. i have gone to hotels with paper sacks as luggage. i have ALWAYS kept a pellet gun next to the back door. i never put a transmission in the bathtub but my wife really hates it when she goes to take a bath right after i've cleaned one of my muzzleloaders in the tub. there's something about the smell that she finds offensive. i don't understand it!! and, although i'm still trying, i haven't yet been able to talk my wife into entering the friday night, pissin-fer-distance contest. cheers...bud

An oldie but goodie.

#50 You know your white trash when a co-worker tells you your daughter is the best french-kisser in her class, and you agree with him.

#51. if your father and grandfather are the same guy.... and your mom is pretty sure of this

#52

If everyone is sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner and your mom runs in to the kitchen, screaming, come in here kids and take a look at this before I flush it!

Your idea of "safe sex" is a padded headboard on your waterbed...

#54 (whoops can't count, does that qualify?)

Your best 'coon dawg sits up front along side you in your pick up, while the missus and the kids sit in the back.

Yeah giddyup!

[ 09-12-2003, 05:59: Message edited by: Richard Kymble ]

#55 or so:
When there's a worn-out, old bench seat from a pick-up truck on your front porch.

[ 09-14-2003, 07:09: Message edited by: rootbeer ]

#56
When, during foreplay, your girlfriend says, "Back off, Dad, you're crushing my cigarettes".