YOU KNOW YOU'RE WHITE TRASH WHEN...
> >
> >1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth
> >than your spouse.
> >
> >2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the
> >dinner table in front of her kids.
> >
> >3. You've been married three times and still have the
> >same in-laws.
> >
> >4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls
> >on a different night.
> >
> >5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired
> >people."
> >
> >6. You wonder how service stations keep their
> >restrooms so clean.
> >
> >7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying,
> >"Hey y'all watch this."
> >
> >8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
> >
> >9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling
> >fan.
> >
> >10. Your junior prom had a daycare.
> >
> >11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled
> >Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."
> >
> >12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
> >exploded right off its wheels.
> >
> >13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up/down,
> >depending on how much gas is in it.
> >
> >14. You have to go outside to get something from the
> >fridge.
> >
> >15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
> >
> >16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get
> >a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
> >
> >17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because
> >there's a law against it.
> >
> >18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your
> >wife drunk.
> >
> >19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
> >
> >20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend
> >hits the floor.
> >
> >21. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they
> >all say Cool Whip on the side.
> >
> >22. If the biggest city you've ever been to is
> >Walmart.
> >
> >23. If your working T.V. sits on top of your
> >non-working T.V.
> >
> >24. If you thought the Una-bomber was a wrestler.
> >
> >25. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet
> >table.
> >
> >26. If you think a quarter horse is that ride out in
> >front of the K-Mart.
> >
> >27. If your neighbors think you're a detective because
> >a cop always brings you home.
> >
> >28. If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does
> >$100,000 dollars worth of improvement.
> >
> >29. If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back
> >scratcher.
> >
> >30. If you've ever asked the preacher "How's it
> >hangin?"
> >
> >31. If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had
> >jury duty.
> >
> >32. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65
> >mph.
> >
> >33. If somebody tells you that you've got something in
> >your teeth and you take them out to see what it is...
> >
> >34. If you've ever stared at a can of orange juice
> >because it said concentrate.
> >
> >35. If you've ever been too drunk to fish.
> >
> >36. If you don't understand why the first 35 are
> >funny.

37 YOU ASK WHERE THE KILL ZONE IS ON A CAT.......

I know those people!!

My half-brother/cousin/brother-in-law might take offense to this...