Go | New | Find | Notify | Tools | Reply |
One of Us |
Part I: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing a long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and make mental note to do more sit ups, leg lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, longloofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Shave armpits and legs. Rinse conditioner off hair. Turn off shower. Squeegee all wet surfaces in the shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Part II: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along with way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a shampoo mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because the curtain was hanging out of the tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on the floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around the waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on her pillow. I don't care how many times I hear this one I cry laughing at Part II... Taxidermist/Rugmaker | ||
|
One of Us |
My wife loved this one...so true she says. I've been getting back into the woo-woo thing in the hall, she really appreciates it now. the chef | |||
|
One of Us |
All true except for the wet towel on the pillow! "Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult." | |||
|
One of Us |
OK, the wife and I just read this. Men pee in the sink. We don't wait to get in the shower. | |||
|
One of Us |
A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user.” ― Theodore Roosevelt | |||
|
One of Us |
100% accurate. 577NitroExpress Double Rifle Shooters Society Francotte .470 Nitro Express If stupidity hurt, a lot of people would be walking around screaming... | |||
|
One of Us |
Absolutely hilarious. I think that I live this out on a daily basis. | |||
|
One of Us |
woo-woo | |||
|
one of us |
Kruger you've been peeking my bathroom window again girl? Doug Humbarger NRA Life member Tonkin Gulf Yacht Club 72'73. Yankee Station Try to look unimportant. Your enemy might be low on ammo. | |||
|
One of Us |
D Hum.... Taxidermist/Rugmaker | |||
|
Powered by Social Strata |
Please Wait. Your request is being processed... |
Visit our on-line store for AR Memorabilia