Part I: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

Take off clothing and place it in

sectioned laundry hamper according

to lights and darks.


Walk to bathroom wearing a long

dressing gown. If you see husband

along the way, cover up any exposed

areas.


Look at your womanly physique in the

mirror and make mental note to

do more sit ups, leg lifts, etc.


Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm

cloth, leg cloth, longloofah, wide

loofah and pumice stone.


Wash your hair once with cucumber and

sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.


Wash your hair again to make sure it's

clean.


Condition your hair with grapefruit

mint conditioner.


Wash your face with crushed apricot

facial scrub for 10 minutes until

red.


Wash entire rest of body with ginger

nut and jaffa cake body wash.


Shave armpits and legs.


Rinse conditioner off hair.


Turn off shower.


Squeegee all wet surfaces in the shower.


Spray mold spots with Tilex.


Get out of shower.


Dry with towel the size of a small

country.


Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.


Return to bedroom wearing long dressing

gown and towel on head.


If you see husband along the way, cover

up any exposed areas.



Part II: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN


Take off clothes while sitting on the

edge of the bed and leave them

in a pile.


Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see

wife along with way, shake wiener at

her while making the woo-woo sound.


Look at your manly physique in the

mirror. Admire the size of your

wiener and scratch your ass.


Get in the shower.


Wash your face.


Wash your armpits.


Blow your nose in your hands and let

the water rinse the snot off.


Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in

the shower.


Spend majority of time washing privates

and surrounding area.


Wash your butt, leaving those coarse

butt hairs stuck on the soap.


Wash your hair. Make a shampoo mohawk.


Pee.


Rinse off and get out of the shower.


Partially dry off.


Fail to notice water on floor because

the curtain was hanging out of the tub

the whole time.


Admire wiener size in mirror again.


Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on

the floor, light and fan on.


Return to bedroom with towel around the

waist.


If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake

wiener at her and make the woo-woo

sound again.


Throw wet towel on her pillow.



I don't care how many times I hear this one I cry laughing at Part II...

My wife loved this one...so true she says. I've been getting back into the woo-woo thing in the hall, she really appreciates it now.

the chef

All true except for the wet towel on the pillow!

OK, the wife and I just read this.

Men pee in the sink.
We don't wait to get in the shower.

100% accurate.

Absolutely hilarious. I think that I live this out on a daily basis.

woo-woo

Kruger you've been peeking my bathroom window again girl?

D Hum....