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With the Daytona 500 coming up!
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Picture of JudgeG
posted
I thought you folks would like to see what some idol time will do to someone with a vivid imagination.

Down here in South Georgia, I think it is against the law not to have a big "3" on the back window of your pickup, so I've decided to complile a list of reasons why NASCAR fans put on the decal.

Why do NASCAR fans love the number “3”?
Of course, it was the number of The Terminator Intimidator, a/k/a Dale Earnhardt but that's not the only reason. Here follow a bunch more... any additions are welcome:

“3” is the favorite because it is….

1. The number of pregnant Pit Bulls you have,

2. The number of times you have to slap the crap out of your bitch wife to stop her from complaining about the three pregnant pit bulls under the porch.

3. The number of years you still have on probation.

4. The age of consent in West Virginia.,

5. The number of tattoos your 12 year-old daughter has.

6. The number of piercings you have in your privates.

7. The number of children you have with your sister.

8. The number of months you can fail to make payments before your single-wide is repossessed.

9. The number of 6-packs that you can drink in an evening and still make it to work.

10. The number of times you made it to work last week.

11. The number of weeks your neighbor's 15 year-old is late with her period before you're worried.

12. The number of feet you have to jump down ever since your front steps rotted out.

13. The number of teeth you mother has.

14. The number of times you brushed your teeth this year.

15. The number of deer you jack-lighted last month.

16. The number of children you have with red hair and neither you nor your wife are even blonde.

17. The number of cousins you have with 11 toes.

18. The number of times in a row that Jeff Gordon will win Riverside starting next year.

19 The number of times you'd like to see Jeff Gordon kiss your butt.

20. The number of times you threw up in your girlfriend's pocket book last Saturday night.

21. The number of times your wife shot at you when she found out about the girlfriend before her Lorcin 9mm jammed.

22. The number of your uncles that have been buried sitting on a 4-wheeler wrapped up in a Confederate flag.

23. The number of times the Dept. of Children and Family Services have inspected your house this month.

24. The number of times you changed your sheets last year.

25. The highest number to which you could count until Jr. came along... and now you can count to 8!

And yes, I'll be glued to the t.v. screen for the big race, myself.


JudgeG ... just counting time 'til I am again finding balm in Gilead chilled out somewhere in the Selous.
 
Posts: 7763 | Location: GA | Registered: 27 February 2001Reply With Quote
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Picture of JBrown
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Judge
A few of those made me smile, but this one just about killed me:
quote:
22. The number of your uncles that have been buried sitting on a 4-wheeler wrapped up in a Confederate flag.

Big Grin


Jason

"You're not hard-core, unless you live hard-core."
_______________________

Hunting in Africa is an adventure. The number of variables involved preclude the possibility of a perfect hunt. Some problems will arise. How you decide to handle them will determine how much you enjoy your hunt.

Just tell yourself, "it's all part of the adventure." Remember, if Robert Ruark had gotten upset every time problems with Harry
Selby's flat bed truck delayed the safari, Horn of the Hunter would have read like an indictment of Selby. But Ruark rolled with the punches, poured some gin, and enjoyed the adventure.

-Jason Brown
 
Posts: 6842 | Location: Nome, Alaska(formerly SW Wyoming) | Registered: 22 December 2003Reply With Quote
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Apparently it snowed where the Judge is too Big Grin
+1 on the burial


Oh, and Dale was known as "the Intimidator"


Let us speak courteously, deal fairly, and keep ourselves armed and ready

Theodore Roosevelt
 
Posts: 1317 | Location: eastern Iowa | Registered: 13 December 2000Reply With Quote
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Picture of daniel77
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The uncle one was my favorite also. And yeah, the "terminator" is currently bangin a Kennedy and running Kalifornia.
 
Posts: 3628 | Location: cajun country | Registered: 04 March 2009Reply With Quote
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quote:
And yeah, the "terminator" is currently bangin a Kennedy and running Kalifornia.

I meant the Intimidator... bad hair day, I guess. I changed it above.


JudgeG ... just counting time 'til I am again finding balm in Gilead chilled out somewhere in the Selous.
 
Posts: 7763 | Location: GA | Registered: 27 February 2001Reply With Quote
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quote:
21. The number of times your wife shot at you when she found out about the girlfriend before her Lorcin 9mm jammed.

I had a .380 Lorcin, back in 1996. Looking back, I don't know why I bought the thing. It was cheaply made-- a collection of Zamak pieces with casting flash all over it. I paid less than a hundred bucks for it. What was I thinking..?
 
Posts: 16534 | Location: Between my computer and the head... | Registered: 03 March 2008Reply With Quote
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quote:
Originally posted by homebrewer:
quote:
21. The number of times your wife shot at you when she found out about the girlfriend before her Lorcin 9mm jammed.

I had a .380 Lorcin, back in 1996. Looking back, I don't know why I bought the thing. It was cheaply made-- a collection of Zamak pieces with casting flash all over it. I paid less than a hundred bucks for it. What was I thinking..?


Why would you admit to it on a public forum?


The price of knowledge is great but the price of ignorance is even greater.
 
Posts: 777 | Location: Socialist Republic of California | Registered: 27 February 2005Reply With Quote
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