13 February 2010, 19:09
JudgeGWith the Daytona 500 coming up!
I thought you folks would like to see what some idol time will do to someone with a vivid imagination.
Down here in South Georgia, I think it is against the law not to have a big "3" on the back window of your pickup, so I've decided to complile a list of reasons why NASCAR fans put on the decal.
Why do NASCAR fans love the number “3”?
Of course, it was the number of The
Terminator Intimidator, a/k/a Dale Earnhardt but that's not the only reason. Here follow a bunch more... any additions are welcome:
“3” is the favorite because it is….
1. The number of pregnant Pit Bulls you have,
2. The number of times you have to slap the crap out of your bitch wife to stop her from complaining about the three pregnant pit bulls under the porch.
3. The number of years you still have on probation.
4. The age of consent in West Virginia.,
5. The number of tattoos your 12 year-old daughter has.
6. The number of piercings you have in your privates.
7. The number of children you have with your sister.
8. The number of months you can fail to make payments before your single-wide is repossessed.
9. The number of 6-packs that you can drink in an evening and still make it to work.
10. The number of times you made it to work last week.
11. The number of weeks your neighbor's 15 year-old is late with her period before you're worried.
12. The number of feet you have to jump down ever since your front steps rotted out.
13. The number of teeth you mother has.
14. The number of times you brushed your teeth this year.
15. The number of deer you jack-lighted last month.
16. The number of children you have with red hair and neither you nor your wife are even blonde.
17. The number of cousins you have with 11 toes.
18. The number of times in a row that Jeff Gordon will win Riverside starting next year.
19 The number of times you'd like to see Jeff Gordon kiss your butt.
20. The number of times you threw up in your girlfriend's pocket book last Saturday night.
21. The number of times your wife shot at you when she found out about the girlfriend before her Lorcin 9mm jammed.
22. The number of your uncles that have been buried sitting on a 4-wheeler wrapped up in a Confederate flag.
23. The number of times the Dept. of Children and Family Services have inspected your house this month.
24. The number of times you changed your sheets last year.
25. The highest number to which you could count until Jr. came along... and now you can count to 8!
And yes, I'll be glued to the t.v. screen for the big race, myself.
13 February 2010, 19:28
JBrownJudge
A few of those made me smile, but this one just about killed me:
quote:
22. The number of your uncles that have been buried sitting on a 4-wheeler wrapped up in a Confederate flag.

13 February 2010, 20:15
375hnhApparently it snowed where the Judge is too

+1 on the burial
Oh, and Dale was known as "the Intimidator"
13 February 2010, 20:43
daniel77The uncle one was my favorite also. And yeah, the "terminator" is currently bangin a Kennedy and running Kalifornia.
14 February 2010, 06:28
JudgeGquote:
And yeah, the "terminator" is currently bangin a Kennedy and running Kalifornia.
I meant the Intimidator... bad hair day, I guess. I changed it above.
16 February 2010, 22:09
homebrewerquote:
21. The number of times your wife shot at you when she found out about the girlfriend before her Lorcin 9mm jammed.
I had a .380 Lorcin, back in 1996. Looking back, I don't know why I bought the thing. It was cheaply made-- a collection of Zamak pieces with casting flash all over it. I paid less than a hundred bucks for it. What was I thinking..?
17 February 2010, 01:15
Harrisquote:
Originally posted by homebrewer:
quote:
21. The number of times your wife shot at you when she found out about the girlfriend before her Lorcin 9mm jammed.
I had a .380 Lorcin, back in 1996. Looking back, I don't know why I bought the thing. It was cheaply made-- a collection of Zamak pieces with casting flash all over it. I paid less than a hundred bucks for it. What was I thinking..?
Why would you admit to it on a public forum?