The Soviet government was cracking down on the alcohol problem that was escalating. So, a communist party official goes to a factory and says to one of the workers, "If you had a glass of vodka could you work today?" The worker said, "I guess I could." "If you had two glasses of vodka, could you work?" He said, "I guess I could." "If you had three glasses of vodka, could you work?" He said, "I'm here, aren't I?"

I'm glad you told it before vashper did. That's pretty funny.

I don't really think that they have that dry a sense of humor.

I also love you, Kensco

V

I think you should jump Otto for stealing your jokes.

Kensco, and why I should "jump" on Ottomatic? I do not post here jokes about Russians, because it may be offensive to Americans . So it's not my ecological niche.
In addition, there are anecdotes "of Russian origin", and is the material of the cold war times, in my opinion, quite stupid. Although this anecdote, in principle, of Russian origin, in the original version, it was about a sociological survey about alko in different countries.

I can give you but a joke about Americans.

Americans for several years been preparing a spy for the most important mission in the USSR. To do this, they chose the best cadet of the intelligence school with excellent grades in all subjects. His legend was developed brilliantly. Finally, he was thrown from the aircraft on Soviet territory. He came out of the forest, dressed in a quilted jacket and a cap with earflaps, holding in one hand a bottle of vodka and another loaf of rye bread. Met an old lady, he asked her: "Hey, old lady, f...k your mother, where's the secret military base?".

"-secret military base there, outside the village; but it seems to me that you are an American spy."

"- What makes you think so, grandma ?"

" - We haven't ever seen the Negroes in our corner".

I don't know. That ones a little iffy.

Start all your American jokes with; "There was this Aggie...." Guaranteed to make you friends except in College Station, home of Texas A&M.; but don't let that stop you.

I'm told there's a lot of truth in the Soviet version. It's how people got through Life there.

Grizz

Grizz, according Tolkien, orcs are genetically identical to the elves. On the screen they look different - but it is just the result of propaganda.