I'll start:

Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract for her own signature set of drivers.

They will be marketed as:

"Elin's Woods -- clubs you can beat Tiger with."

Bring 'em on. I have confidence in you.

TFF!!!

I dredged up a few . . .

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

Tiger Woods was facing a difficult shot and asked his caddy for advice. "What do you think I should use here?" said Woods.
His caddy handed him a fire hydrant and said "Use this. You know you can hit it."

Tiger hits a tree and what does he do?

Blames it on the Caddy. (lac)

News flash: Tiger's not a tiger after all - he's a cheetah!

Tigers wife has an indentical twin sister- its easy to tell them apart---- the wife is the one with the bent 5 Iron
Tigers Black half made him buy the Cadillac Escalade with the 24" rims--- His Asian half made him unable to drive the damm thing.
Whats the penalty for sinking one in the wrong hole?? .....Ask Tiger
When the police asked Tigers wife how many times she hit him she said " Put me down for a five"

Tiger's troubles started early today, where, on only his second ho, he drove through a water hazard and into the trees.

Tiger Woods was injured in a car accident as he pulled out of his driveway early Friday morning. It was Woods' shortest drive since an errant tee shot at the US Open

Tiger Woods recently drove into a fire hydrant and tree. He's not talking about it,so it sounds like an unplayable lie.

What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals? They both get clubbed by Norwegians.

At least Tiger can drive a ball 300 yards without hitting a tree or a fire hydrant.......explains why he is a competitor in the PGA, not Formula 1 or NASCAR.

You knew this was coming?? Right?? the Tiger Woods driving game.
http://www.break.com/games/tig...ods-wife-outrun.html

I understand Tiger is reputed to be the only Master's Tournament Winner still taking driving lessons......

What do Tiger Woods and a baby seal have in common?

They both get clubbed by Norwegians

What is the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops after the first 3 Hos.

she's not from norway.

quote:

Originally posted by Goldeneye:
she's not from norway.

Is she Scandalnavian?

quote:

Originally posted by Goldeneye:
she's not from norway.

Nevermind, that jokes not funny anymore...

On a serious note: Tigger's mother-in-law was in the hospital for stomach pains...

Anybody here weird enough to make that link?

Rich

Tiger's gonna be his OWN daddy?

I was in England when Bill Wyman (Rolling Stones) married a 20 YO girl named Mandy and Bill's son married Mandy's Mother... I'm from Alabama but I still can't do that Math!

Tiger Woods give new meaning to the phrase "Playing 18 Holes:!

Tiger's favorite Christmas song??????



"All I want for Christmas is my two front teeff!"

quote:

Originally posted by Old_reloader:
Tiger Woods give new meaning to the phrase "Playing 18 Holes:!

But isn't it 27 holes? There's the "lower" front nine, then the "lower" back nine, and then the "upper" front nine......

Heck of a course...wonder what the initiation fee and annual dues are? And while we're at it, I wonder how many strokes are par for the course?

I'm just really upset that I bought the DVD "Tiger's Best 18 Holes" from Amazon and when it arrived it was all about bloody golf!

quote:

Tiger's gonna be his OWN daddy?

I was in England when Bill Wyman (Rolling Stones) married a 20 YO girl named Mandy and Bill's son married Mandy's Mother... I'm from Alabama but I still can't do that Math!

There ewas a song about this when my father was young titled "I Am My Own Grandpa" I heard my father sing it on several occasions

Now they're selling collectible plates! Better get yours fast!

Tiger Woods Plates

quote:

Originally posted by Idaho Sharpshooter:
On a serious note: Tigger's mother-in-law was in the hospital for stomach pains...

Anybody here weird enough to make that link?

Rich

You referring to the old Rod Stewart-type hospitalization rumor?

Tiger Woods Holiday Poem


Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.

As fast as sponsors are pulling out, Tigers agent is getting new one's. The newest is the Trojan Prophylatic people- the new slogan for their ad- Tiger says" When you play as many different courses and swing as hard as me. You need protection-Trojan's-Always Wear two- You never know when you will get a hole in one"

For Jack D. Bold, that is an interesting quote about Thomas Jefferson. I have not been able to find a source document for this quote.Do you know of a source document for it? Thanks.

Tiger Shark in shallow waters..........