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one of us |
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my >own pants. > >2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. > >3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said >"Implants?" She hit me. > >4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast. > >5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..." > >6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here. > >7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a >moaner. > >8. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get >elected. > >9. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 > for Miss America? > >10. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing > section in a swimming pool? > >11. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled > >12. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: > "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!" > | ||
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I like the last one, I have a friend that is a firm believer that if she is in a bar and is willing to go home with you then she isn't the type of girl you want. I'd settle :-) Red | |||
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