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Oh my God, now that's funny right there!   | |||
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How true,+ the lists of jokes in that vein are legion for our Gallic "allies" who have nothing to their credit other than to fight with their feet + make love with their faces. I.E-never buy french tires;they'll go down on you. Never mistake motion for action. | |||
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As best I know, my name comes from a Frenchman who accompanied Guillame [William the Conqueror] from the Brittany area of France to England where they preceded to kick butt major league. Gianni | |||
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Or the add for the French Military rifle in the classifieds: Never been fired, only dropped twice. | |||
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Why is the Champs de Elaise (sp?) in Paris lined with trees? The German army likes to march in the shade. .395 Family Member DRSS, po' boy member Political correctness is nothing but liberal enforced censorship | |||
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 Let's list US victories in Vietnam or Irak | |||
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It must be most embarrassing for the American people, having the largest and most powerful military in the world, and not being able to successfully occupy an control a handful of resistance fighters and an even smaller number of terrorists in a little country like Iraq, and this comes after getting kicked out of Vietnam by a bunch of rice farmers. It's mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack; not rationality. | |||
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How do you think Australia would hold up against us????? | |||
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We had about the same amount as the Froggies. | |||
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My friends,Iraq just as Nam;the answer is the same.Get the G.D. politicians out of the picture + we will do our job.End of story.Sorry,I know this is the humor section. Never mistake motion for action. | |||
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They would use aussie beer as bait.  | |||
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Considering that we begged the French for their help against England in 1775 and a few years thereafter... and considering that had the French not given their help there would never have BEEN a United States... and considering also that less than 20 years later the French asked for our help against England and we refused... I often wonder just where the hell some or us get off in criticising the French..... | |||
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And this is funny because? muck | |||
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Lets see if you can guess why. You know what the answer is, don't you???????? ______________________ Age and Treachery Will Always Overcome Youth and Skill | |||
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Weather I know and or subscribe to the excuses put forward is irrelevant,the point of my post was to have a cheap shot at some other posters originating from the US, who are having a cheap shot at France. Perhaps this will teach those individuals that people who live in glass houses should be careful when playing with rocks. This "have a go "at France started when France and Germany declined an invite to go and play in the sand pit, the US acting like a spoiled brat could'nt take no for an answer gracefully and the anti French vitriol started, who could forget "freedom fries" and "old Europe"...I've got some news for you Tembo Old Europe was a damn sight smarter than Don and George!! It's mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack; not rationality. | |||
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America's dislike of France started long before Bush's current mess. ______________________ Age and Treachery Will Always Overcome Youth and Skill | |||
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Be that as it may,the anti France bullshit got cranked up 3 or 4 gears when the invite was declined. It's mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack; not rationality. | |||
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We got screwed up in Viet Nam because a dumd son of a bitch named L.B. "Lame Brain" johnson thought he knew betetr how to fight a war, or not fight it as you like, than the generals who were charged in fighting said Viet Nam war. A cpuple of examples. You can't bomb hanoi. Might kill some Russian and Chinese advisors. Could piss off Russia and China and start WW-3. Can't bomb Haiphong Harbor. You's sink Russian and Chinese ships. Might piss 'em off and start WW-3. Can't forget, no bombing of the bridges crossing over from "Nam" to China either. Might take of a few Chinese, well you get the picture. Strategic bombing is what wins wors, not worrying about pissing off people thata re alrady pissed at us anyway. Bombing empty jungle was OK though. Can't win a war with that type of stupidity controling everything. Seems to me there was a crazy little corporal in Germany that started WW-2 and thought he knew better on how to run a war than his generals. I believe his name was Adolph Hitler. Iraq was, IMHO, a mistake. I think Bush Jr. just wanted to finish off what daddy started and the U.N. wouldn't let daddy do it. Seems to me, we should be getting an awful lot of free oil from Iraq to pay us back for the costs of being there. Oh, and those rice farmers had been fighting first the Japanese and maybe even China before the Japs, the French, and then us. Those guys were no amateurs. There was a program on the History Channel a while back that went into the tunnel system the VC had. A very sophisticated system from a bunch of "rice farmers". Paul B. | |||
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DarwinMauser,with all due respect;many of us have had no use for the French long before this present sandbox debacle.One can speak of past allies + enemies ad nauseum.Your point of the old glass houses adage is well taken,but in all reality the current status of todays Frenchman in regards to warrior mode is poor at best.Many other countries can also claim that unworthy distinction as well,but that does not relieve the French of their role concerning their lack of cajones. My appologies to all concerned as this should not be in humor but in the political forum. But WTH,we gotta laugh about it;what else? Never mistake motion for action. | |||
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Am sorry, but this material quoted is a misunderstanding of facts. The war in Vietnam wasn't lost because Johnson wouldn't listen to the "professional" generals, but because he did. The generals were all convinced the war was a "conventional war". It wasn't, and eventually maybe even they knew that, but they didn't know how to fight a guerilla war, so they kept hoping they could turn it into a conventional "set-piece, clear battle lines" war. They couldn't. They were so self -interested in warding off what they considered invasions of their turf by special units and intelligence agencies, that they lost the war rather than cooperate with and support the units which could have won it. Believe it or don't, before the big upsurge in American troops, we were making good headway in Vietnam with the "hearts & minds" program run in the delta by a very small number of Green Berets. We organized and condensed villages and let them form their own defensive groups. Just before the commitment of American troops to the war on an active fighting basis, we had over 60,000 Vietnamese providing their own defenses quite ably, but that all ended with the arrival of the conventional war generals. If it had been given another 3-4 years, we could have won. The generals put in place rules of engagement like "if you receive ground-to-air fire from the area around any village, you have permission to bomb it". It doesn't take a genuis to see what the VC would do with that. Fire on our aircraft from as near to a village which doesn't support them as possible. Then we come back and bomb the shit out of the village, killing all kinds of allies, innocents, etc. Yeh, that'll turn them into VC supporters...and it did. Anyway, the Brits won in Malaysia using the hearts and minds concepts, we lost in Viet Nam trying to re-fight WW II. Incidentally, the Brits were effective in Malaysia because they combined "hearts and minds" with "special units" of the SAS, with attached MI5 technical folks. Where necessary, the MI5 types helped identify and locate persons of "special interest", and SAS "eliminated" them. Didn't take too long before the communist insurrection in Malaysia was kaput. (Of course, the "Official Secrets Act" also held the British press at bay, so they didn't misconstrue operations they did not understand, and jack the public up to put an end to the operations before the war could be won.) As for strategtic bombing winning wars, 'tis B.S. It won WWII, but it will not win current or future wars. We certainly have had ample opportunity to apply it in both Iraq, and Af'stan, and neither of those wars is anywhere near won. Here is an official evaluation of why the west in general loses guerilla wars, done by a European country the name of which is not going to be posted here. "......analysis of American intelligence agencies among that info. Their assessment of why we do poorly in both intelligence and wars is very thought provoking and, I think, enlightening. "First, the western allies are politically inconsistent and unreliable when fighting undercover wars. The will to fight lasts as long as the war remains secret but dissipates as soon as word of the operation leaks out. The U.S. is particularly vulnerable in this respect, so that time and again (in the Ukraine, Albania, Tibet, Laos,Vietnam and now Iraq) revolutionaries encouraged by U.S. covert operators have been deserted, and face almost certain death, as the American government falls victim to political pragmatism brought on by a critical electorate. (and a lack of patience, a need for instant results.) "Secondly, allied nations place a too high value on the life of an individual intelligence operator. Even if a covert operation costs only a very few lives it will be abandoned as too costly by the west. In covert warfare the Soviets had a major advantage until glasnost in that they were neither responsible to an electorate, nor subject to the criticisms of a free press." | |||
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Yep maybe it should go to misc, it's certainly not humor. That you have had no use for the French for some time is quite obvious. If I recall it started about the time they decided that US bases in post war France were not in their best interests,and the US reaction to that is still in evidence. I can't totally agree with your opinion on there Warrior mode being poor at best.The US army of 1940 would have been hard pressed to stop the wehrmacht and I have serious doubt if they could have done a great deal more than the French did. Lets not forget the Krauts did'nt suffer any major setback on land until the later half of 1942. The French were out classed in Indochina but then so were the Americans, as Alberta Canuck points out the only western country to win an asymmetric war were the Poms in Malaysia and that took some serious outside the square thinking on their part,and yeh I got a bit of a giggle out of this thread just from the reactions of those who took offence (for want of a better word) at my post.  It's mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack; not rationality. | |||
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Our (one of our many) resident bushbot friend forgot who ran tail tucked between the legs in Lebanon, last time French and US were attacked. He forgot who had agents on the ground with the Northern Alliance (the reason Shah Massood was killed) when US was talking with Talibans to open a pipeline through Afghanistan. Help From France Key In Covert Operations The French Were Right ONLY THE IGNORANT DARE CALL FRENCH COWARDS  | |||
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I agree that invading and occupying Iraq was a mistake Paul, however.. I don't think the Iraqi's see it in quite the same light as you do. It's mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack; not rationality. | |||
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BEsZMvrq-I
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No other nation on earth has such military history, such a long and varied history that is filled with brilliant successes and bitter failures. | |||
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I'd say that no bombing since WWII has worked because in WWII we bombed everything including civilians and their homes. Today you might as well have referees with penalty flags out there telling us we can bomb this we can't bomb that. It's WAR...maybe we need another damn world war to shut all the liberal MFer's up about who gets killed. All bullshit. | |||
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Nobody said wars shouldn't kill the foe. But only a stupid fighter wouldn't care if he also killed his allies....especially in a war where he has to depend on them to help him identify and locate the enemy. We could have done in Iraq what needed to be done, if anything really needed doing there at all, with careful sigint, a hit team of 3 or less, and a well planned disinformation design executed before, during, and after. No need to invade another soverign country, spend a billion dollars a day for several years (Mostly borrowed at high interst from the PRC Chinese), suffer 3,000 more dead of our own (and still counting) and eventually still have to leave defeated yet again, as it appears we very well may in the eyes of the world. And even if what you say is true, which I very much doubt, one has to fight his wars in the world that exists, not in his dreams. If we have another world war, I hope you who long for it have the opportunity to serve in the very front lines beginning on day one and continuing until it is over. My country gal's just a moonshiner's daughter, but I love her still. | |||
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Where is the French in this picture?  | |||
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Ok so I am Norwegian, Russian, German, Scotch-Irish, French, Gros Ventre, and Assinaboine indian. I have no real love for the French as how could any mutt of my nature could. I do see though that there is no mention of Boadicea (?spelling) or Charlemagne. I do admire though the storied history of the Foreign Legion. I feel I must point out that my favorite movie of WWI is "Paths to Glory" which showed exactly what was wrong with the French regular army at the time. The problem is that same attitude is still prevalent in many modern day armies as well. "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." -- General George S. Patton | |||
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When did he say it? Nuther one living in fiction world.. | |||
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My heavens Darwin!!!! you have certainly opened up a can of snails.. er worms. Never mistake motion for action. | |||
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panic,destruction and mayhem .....Hmmmmmm my work is done!!  It's mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack; not rationality. | |||
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Funny stuff. -------------------------------------------- Well, other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play? | |||
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What contribution has France made to the world since 1900? | |||
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 Not Preparation H, that's a US contribution !! | |||
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And it has been neutralizing irritating assholes world wide since the mid 1930's! | |||
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> >> > >> When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell > >> was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were > >> just an example of empire building' by George Bush. > >> > >> He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States > >> has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight > >> for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever > >> asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return. > >> > >> You could have heard a pin drop. > >> > >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > >> Then there was a conference in France where a number of > >> international engineers were taking part, including French and American. > >> During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room > >> saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent > >> an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does > >> he intended to do, bomb them?' A Boeing engineer stood up and replied > >> quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat > >> several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply > >> emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three > >> cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, > >> they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water > >> each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in > >> transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. > >> We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?' > >> > >> You could have heard a pin drop. > >> > >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > >> A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that > >> included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and > >> French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a > >> large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those > >> countries. > >> Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a > >> French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many > >> languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that > >> we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than > >> speaking French?' Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied > >> 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged > >> it so you wouldn't have to speak German.' > >> > >> You could have heard a pin drop. > >> > >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > >> AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE... > >> > >> A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to > >> France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in > >> Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his > >> passport in his carry on. 'You have been to France before, monsieur?' > >> the customs officer asked sarcastically. Mr. Whiting admitted that he > >> had been to France previously. 'Then you should know enough to have > >> your passport ready.' The American said, 'The last time I was here, I > >> didn't have to show it.' 'Impossible. Americans always have to show > >> your passports on arrival in France!' The American senior gave the > >> Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. 'Well, when I > >> came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in > >> '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any damn Frenchmen to > >> show it to.' > >> > >> You could have heard a pin drop | |||
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I support our troops over there,But this is my thought exactly. Cal30 If it cant be Grown it has to be Mined! Devoted member of Newmont mining company Underground Mine rescue team. Carlin East,Deep Star ,Leeville,Deep Post ,Chukar and now Exodus Where next? Pete Bajo to train newbies on long hole stoping and proper blasting techniques. Back to Exodus mine again learning teaching and operating autonomous loaders in the underground. Bringing everyday life to most individuals 8' at a time! | |||
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Here's my favorite: Q: How long does it take to travel from Berlin to Paris? A: Three days, in a good tank and with the usual opposition. And I LIKE the French! Mike Wilderness is my cathedral, and hunting is my prayer. | |||
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I noticed the attempt to compare the Malaya with Vietnam: of course there was no similarity. Malaya was fought by a small group of ethnic chinese communists from within the country. The brits strategy evolved into relocating the majority of the pepole below an certain latitude, put them into fortified settlements and turning the rest of the country into a free fire zone; took them, what, 12 years to finally prevail over the chinese. Vietnam was no more nor less than the invasion of one sovereign state by another. There is no doubt that we had a confusion of objectives there, but, the NVA did not run us out of the country-we quit and, no, that is not the same thing! The last accounting I saw showed some 1 million Vietnamese casualties that comapares to our 55k KIA. Remember that the Viets's are the most bellicose race of people on the face of the earth who have been fighting someone for the past 1000 years-the only group to defeat Ghenghis Kahn | |||
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Well, that is the classic U.S. excuse for having lost, but it doesa not match the facts, pure and simple. Body count does not determine who has won or lost...who occupies the ground (and rules it) determines the winners and losers. War is about destroying the enemy's ability and will to fight. We destroyed neither the enemy's ability or will to fight in Vietnam. They did not destroy our ability to fight, but they sure as hell destroyed our will to fight in their country. Ultimately, war is one of the most obvious manipulations of the politics of the world. But it IS a political act, and we sure as hell lost the political aspects of it. So we killed a million of them... Is that supposed to make them be our allies? Not likely. And unless we were willing to stay there forever, we needed them to either give up their fight for the land, or for us to kill them all. Neither was going to happen, and probably won't in Iraq either, I fear. And when I say "their country", remember that North and South vietnam were articifical soverign countries established by the Western dominated powers, not by the Vietnamese. In their minds, it was pretty much all one country, divided by outside oppressors. We may not like to hear that, or to see it that way, but that's the way it was for most of them. Noone said the NVA kicked out butts militarily. They did not. That's just one more attempt to view it as a fixed-line, conventional forces war, which it was NOT. It was a political mess which JFK mainly got us into before Johnson ever came into office. JFK should have follwed his own advice. In one of his speeches, he said (paraphrased) "We need to keep reminding ourselves that the U.S. makes up only 6% of the world's population. As such it has no right whatsoever to tell the other 94% how they should govern themselves." Maybe it is about time we re-read his speech. | |||
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Well, Canuck is correct about the country being partitioned between the communist's and the remainder of the country, in 1954, after France's defeat, primarily to allow the South to retain thier own form of government; however, the fact remains that both the North and the South were sovereign nations, thus, it was not a civil war rather a war of conquest by the north. you mentioned that wars are won by occupying territory: thats not necessarily true; the Brits defeated the Malyan insurgents, but, they did not occupy land during the Emergency, rather they hit and moved on, similar to what we did in Vietnam. If you have been to Vietnam you would know that the makeup of Vietnamese society precluded occupying vast tracts of land in, say, the Central Highlands, because there was nothing there except for isolated villages. We tried to conduct the war as if it was WW2 in europe, which of course, was a mistake. We also failed to convince the South to make the necessary civil changes required to win over the people outside of the large cities. Having said all that what wins wars is blood shed on the battlefields, and that we won hands down. we Americans sometimes tend to be too impatient, we must have instant gratification or we lose interest. The American public supported the war for the first 5 or 6 years, but, began to distrust our politicians because they would tell us that the war would be over by Christmas, if only we could commit more troops; instead of telling us that it would be a long slog. Now, you may disagree with what I say, but, I spent most of my youth there between 1962-1969, so, I feel I have the right to say it. | |||
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On the assumption that it is an honest question, the list would be too long for a thread in the humor section. Since at least some people think they made a contribution, a start might be French Nobel Prize winners: French Nobel Prize winners 1. Albert Fert, Physics, 2007 2. Yves Chauvin, Chemistry, 2005 3. Gao Xingjian, China, Literature, 2000 4. Claude Cohen-Tannoudji, Algeria, Physics, 1997 5. Georges Charpak, Physics, 1992 6. Pierre-Gilles de Gennes, Physics, 1991 7. Maurice Allais, Economics, 1988 8. Jean-Marie Lehn, Chemistry, 1987 9. Claude Simon, Madagascar, Literature, 1985 10. Gerard Debreu, Economics, 1983 11. Jean Dausset, Physiology or Medicine, 1980 12. Roger Guillemin*, Physiology or Medicine, 1977 13. Seán MacBride*, Peace, 1974 14. Louis Néel, Physics, 1970 15. René Cassin, Peace, 1968 16. Alfred Kastler, Physics, 1966 17. François Jacob, Physiology or Medicine, 1965 18. Jacques Monod, Physiology or Medicine, 1965 19. André Lwoff, Physiology or Medicine, 1965 20. Jean-Paul Sartre, Literature, 1964 (declined the prize) 21. Saint-John Perse, Literature, 1960 22. Albert Camus, Algeria Literature, 1957 23. Andre Frederic Cournand, Physiology or Medicine, 1956 24. François Mauriac, Literature, 1952 25. Léon Jouhaux, Peace, 1951 26. André Gide, Literature, 1947 27. Roger Martin du Gard, Literature, 1937 28. Frédéric Joliot, Chemistry, 1935 29. Irène Joliot-Curie, Chemistry, 1935 30. Ivan Bunin, Russia, Literature, 1933 31. Charles Nicolle, Physiology or Medicine, 1928 32. Henri Bergson, Literature, 1927 33. Ferdinand Buisson, Peace, 1927 34. Aristide Briand, Peace, 1926 35. Jean-Baptiste Perrin, Physics, 1926 36. Anatole France, Literature, 1921 37. Léon Bourgeois, Peace, 1920 38. Romain Rolland, Literature, 1915 39. Charles Richet, Physiology or Medicine, 1913 40. Alexis Carrel, Medicine, 1912 41. Paul Sabatier, Chemistry, 1912 42. Victor Grignard, Chemistry, 1912 43. Marie Curie, Russian Poland, Chemistry, 1911 44. Paul-Henri-Benjamin d'Estournelles de Constant, Peace, 1909 45. Gabriel Lippmann*, Luxembourg, Physics, 1908 46. Alphonse Laveran, Physiology or Medicine, 1907 47. Louis Renault, Peace, 1907 48. Henri Moissan, Chemistry, 1906 49. Frédéric Mistral, Literature, 1904 50. Antoine Henri Becquerel, Physics, 1903 51. Pierre Curie, Physics, 1903 52. Marie Curie, Russian Poland, Physics, 1903 53. Frédéric Passy, Peace, 1901 54. Sully Prudhomme, Literature, 1901 _________________________________ AR, where the hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history become the nattering nabobs of negativisim. | |||
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Did you mean: french military defeats No standard web pages containing all your search terms were found. Your search - french military victories - did not match any documents. Suggestions: - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. - Try different keywords. - Try more general keywords. - Try fewer keywords.  Doug Humbarger NRA Life member Tonkin Gulf Yacht Club 72'73. Yankee Station Try to look unimportant. Your enemy might be low on ammo. | |||
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Do you know why the french planted trees along boulevards in paris? SO THAT THE GERMAN TROOPS COULD MARCH IN THE SHADE! Doug Humbarger NRA Life member Tonkin Gulf Yacht Club 72'73. Yankee Station Try to look unimportant. Your enemy might be low on ammo. | |||
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Vietnam? Wasn't that another one of those wars, the Americans had to help the French out? Grizz Indeed, no human being has yet lived under conditions which, considering the prevailing climates of the past, can be regarded as normal. John E Pfeiffer, The Emergence of Man Those who can't skin, can hold a leg. Abraham Lincoln Only one war at a time. Abe Again. | |||
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Yeah sure.. another one challenged by dates.. No, it was another war we told you not to get involved, just like Iraq. | |||
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