I can explain it to you,
But I can't understand it for you.

On hearing that George Bush could speak two languages:
"Oh, he's bi-ignorant"

Sometimes you eat the bear...sometimes the bear eats you.

[ 05-08-2003, 07:53: Message edited by: ol blue ]

Some days you get the elevator, some days you get the shaft.

Anyone know why you shouldn't drink water? Because fish f*ck in it.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory that states that this has already happened.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?