I may be crazy but I'm not stupid!

Begorrah!! 36 years old and yer still believe in leprechauns??!!

"Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "Hell, I went to school with him."

" It's swollen."


It's funny how this post works as well as telling the whole joke !

She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"

The undertaker answered, "Well, you see, I was in the wrong room."

And the bartender says "What will you have Mr. President?"

I used the President Obama method of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it's free and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth."

I didn't say she was crazy doc, I said she was f-ckin' Goofy

I'm looking for the man that shot my paw.

Patty O'Furniture

The husband replies, "I want to see how someone can live on $800 a year"!

The captain then looked to the African American and said, "name em".

In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed..."

"You wan... Chicken wiff broccori?

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!

"Heck no", replied the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice"

"Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman, so I showed her."

And then things really got bad.

The father said quietly to his son.... "Go get your mother."

"Nope.........just when it's raining."

And Grandpa said sadly;"no,just jacking".

"No Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes."

For stamping out flaming ducks.

Stephen

you don't think i wished for a twelve inch pianist, do you?

"...It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

"You need to roll out more hose ... You're no where near the fire!"

Yea, well ... That how this whole thing got started!

The moral of the story is ... "If you have a big pecker, you don't need a Mercedes!"

There I was, minding my own business, sitting in this refrigerator...

"I'll take the soup!"

Oh yeah! And if I find a noodle in here I'm not paying for it either!

"...But Noooooo, you had to go and eat someone who actually does something!"

quote:

Originally posted by just-a-hunter:
John: Thats OK, Chuck. A lot of people get sick when they get that drunk...

Chuck: You don't understand, John. Chuncks is my dog.....

Todd

That is funny!!!

"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

The social worker says, "Yeah, well...you started it."

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

"No not really, sir... They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."

"...hope in her soul."

One male student asked, "How much is a season pass?"

1 liner,sorry.Heard about the cannibal who passed his mother-in-law in the jungle?

quote:

Originally posted by Norman Conquest:
1 liner,sorry.Heard about the cannibal who passed his mother-in-law in the jungle?

"Good Lord no," said the bartender. "Its just that someone told them that there was a Labrador in this bar with two assholes!".

"Well," says the little old lady, "not all of them pay."

"Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol we will not hath a thermon tewday".