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Warning - pretty sick Leper gag
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Picture of British
posted
A guy with leprosy wins tickets to see the baseball world series. But when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat because pieces of him are peeling and flaking off, and he's very concerned about grossing out the other fans.

The leper wanders through the upper tier looking for a seat where his grotesque appearance won't disturb anyone else. Finally he finds an open seat where he might be able to watch the game. He asks the man in the adjoining seat if it would be okay to sit there. The man answers, "Yeah. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game." The leper sits down and adds, "As you can see, I have leprosy. If it disturbs you, I will move." "It doesn't bother me. Just shut up, and watch the game."

A while later, during the fourth innings, the man suddenly vomits. Frothy beer, hot dogs, and peanuts are splattered everywhere. Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, "Thank you for allowing me to sit next to you, but I can see that my appearance has caused you to get sick. I will find another place to sit." "It's NOT you. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game." So the leper sits back down.

However, during the sixth innings, the man begins to vomit again. This time it is projectile vomit. A powerful blast of beer and pretzels shoots out from the man's mouth and nose until is stomach is completely emptied. Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, "Thank you for allowing me to sit next to you, but I can see that my appearance has caused you to get sick. I will find another place to sit.". "Really, it's NOT you. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game." So the leper sits back down.

During the seventh innings, the man begins to vomit again. This time it is the dry heaves. The leper feels absolutely awful at the sight of this man suffering. And once again, the leper offers to leave. But the man insists, "Really, it's NOT you." So the leper asks, "Well if it's not me that is making you so sick, that what is it?". "It's that guy behind you. He keeps dipping his nachos in your back." [Eek!]
 
Posts: 325 | Location: Essex, UK | Registered: 12 May 2003
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ok, that was just disgusting...
 
Posts: 217 | Location: upstate ny | Registered: 23 June 2003
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quote:
Originally posted by scubie02:
ok, that was just disgusting...

Yes, it was. And it was frustrating, too. Another joke my wife won't let me tell anyone. As a matter of fact, I'd better not tell HER.

Oh, well, at least my brother and ONE of his friends will appreciate it.
 
Posts: 2272 | Location: PDR of Massachusetts | Registered: 23 January 2001
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What does a leper tell a prostitute?
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You can keep the tip!
 
Posts: 164 | Location: Germany | Registered: 06 January 2003
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You DID warn us.lol derf
 
Posts: 3450 | Location: Aldergrove,BC,Canada | Registered: 22 February 2003
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Must be the worst one i have seen on AR.COM in the two years I have been here... [Eek!]

I agree with Recono, I will NOT tell it to my wife!
 
Posts: 2068 | Location: Goteborg, Sweden | Registered: 22 May 2002
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Down right disgusting. Nasty as can be. Truely sickening.
I love it. [Razz] [Smile] [Big Grin]
 
Posts: 162 | Location: anywhere there is a cat | Registered: 25 June 2003
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quote:
Originally posted by JV:
What does a leper tell a prostitute?
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You can keep the tip!

ewwwwww! [Razz]
 
Posts: 217 | Location: upstate ny | Registered: 23 June 2003
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Very good Sir.

As a new kid on the block here, and a bit apprehensive about my acceptance,,,,,,,,

I feel right at home.

Thank you.

S/F,
Ed.
 
Posts: 18 | Location: Dallas, Texas | Registered: 17 June 2003
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Touche scubie. Made me spit my beer out.
 
Posts: 162 | Location: anywhere there is a cat | Registered: 25 June 2003
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Picture of cchunter
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[Razz] [Razz] [Eek!] [Eek!] [Razz] [Razz]

Bravo
 
Posts: 2121 | Location: Sweden | Registered: 08 May 2002
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Sing this to the tune of the Paul MacCartneys song

"Yesterday"

"Leprosy, oh Leprosy,

Bits and pieces keep falling off of me

I'm not half the man I used to be

Oh OOoohhhhh Leprosy"


There is whole verses of it but I have forgotten them.
 
Posts: 10138 | Location: Wine Country, Barossa Valley, Australia | Registered: 06 March 2002
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Picture of 8MM OR MORE
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Poor guy should have taken someone to the party with him, you know, a "got your back" kinda guy.
 
Posts: 1944 | Location: Moses Lake, WA | Registered: 06 November 2001
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