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* I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair; but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning * The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her name's Kelli. * Went to our local bar with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 63. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary. * My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether." * The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries. * A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!" * The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway. NRA Patron Member | ||
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Wish I could tell my wife these, but at least three of them could get me killed. | |||
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Yes- I usually share these, but not this one.... Doug Wilhelmi NRA Life Member | |||
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DITTO!  Never mistake motion for action. | |||
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And at least two of them could get you arrested.  =+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= DRSS; NRA; Illinois State Rifle Association; Missouri Sport Shooting Association “One of the sad signs of our times is that we have demonized those who produce, subsidized those who refuse to produce, and canonized those who complain.” – Thomas Sowell, “The Vision Of The Anointed: Self-Congratulation As A Basis For Social Policy” . | |||
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These days yes. When I was a deputy sheriff almost 60 years ago, there were states in the U.S. where the legal age of consent was 12, and a bunch of them where it was 14. My country gal's just a moonshiner's daughter, but I love her still. | |||
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I shared them all with my girlfriend and she loved them all Lesson learned? Don't get married or move in with them Hell of a lot safer that way " Until the day breaks and the nights shadows flee away " Big ivory for my pillow and 2.5% of Neanderthal DNA flowing thru my veins. When I'm ready to go, pack a bag of gunpowder up my ass and strike a fire to my pecker, until I squeal like a boar. Yours truly , Milan The Boarkiller - World according to Milan PS I have big boar on my floor...but it ain't dead, just scared to move... Man should be happy and in good humor until the day he dies... Only fools hope to live forever “ Hávamál” | |||
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Why they did that in the presence of the teachers? | |||
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The Accurate Reloading Forums THE ACCURATE RELOADING.COM FORUMS Other Topics Humor Sensitivity Training for Men
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