24 July 2014, 03:45
Mike MichalskiSensitivity Training for Men
* I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair; but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning
* The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her name's Kelli.
* Went to our local bar with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 63. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
* My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
* The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
* A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
* The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan.
I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.
24 July 2014, 03:50
KenscoWish I could tell my wife these, but at least three of them could get me killed.
24 July 2014, 04:03
Dulltool17Yes- I usually share these, but not this one....
25 July 2014, 20:49
scojacquote:
Originally posted by Kensco:
Wish I could tell my wife these, but at least three of them could get me killed.
And at least two of them could get you arrested.

26 July 2014, 22:15
Alberta Canuckquote:
Originally posted by scojac:
quote:
Originally posted by Kensco:
Wish I could tell my wife these, but at least three of them could get me killed.
And at least two of them could get you arrested.
These days yes. When I was a deputy sheriff almost 60 years ago, there were states in the U.S. where the legal age of consent was 12, and a bunch of them where it was 14.
30 July 2014, 09:49
boarkillerI shared them all with my girlfriend and she loved them all
Lesson learned?
Don't get married or move in with them
Hell of a lot safer that way
30 July 2014, 12:52
vashperquote:
Originally posted by Mike Michalski:
* My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
Why they did that in the presence of the teachers?