For a change I rode my bicycle to the liquor shop to get a bottle of whisky.

I put the bottle in the saddle bag but then thought. What happens if I fall off?

So to be on the safe side I drank the whole bottle before riding home.

You know that turned out to be a smart thing to do as I did indeed fall off several times on the way back.

I know what you mean when they say that "Drinking is Hazardous to your health!"

I KEEP FALLING OFF THE BAR STOOL!

Hip

Then there's the guy who goes into the bar and orders some Old Taylor Whiskey + the barmaid says, "Make up your mind, we have both."

Which reminds me of the two nuns walking down the street. Homeowner cutting grass asks: "Where are you sisters going?" Answer: "we are going to the liquor store to get some whiskey for Mother Superior's constipation." (smile) An hour later the 2 nuns come back staggering and giggling. Homeowner: "Sisters, shame on you. The whiskey was for Mother superior's constipation, not for you!"

Nuns: "It's all right, when she sees us she'll shit."