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1. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. ~Grantland Rice 2. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. ~John Updike 3. It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. ~Robert Lynd 4. If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. ~Horace G. Hutchinson 5. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. ~ Gardner Dickinson 6. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. ~Sam Snead 7. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. ~William Wordsworth 8. If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt! ~Dean Martin 9. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. ~Tommy Bolt 10. Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one. ~Bishop Sheen 11. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. ~ Arnold Palmer 12. My handicap? Woods and irons. ~Chris Codiroli 13. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top. ~Pete Dye 14. I'm hitting the woods just great, but having a terrible time getting out of them! ~Buddy Hackett 15. The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf. ~Billy Graham 16. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~Jack Lemmon 17. Its good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. ~Mark Twain 18. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. ~Harry Vardon 19. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either of them. ~Raymond Willis 20. May the ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters or small round sandy regions. ~Ben Hogan 21. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. ~All Us Hackers 22 The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. ~George Deukmejian AND FINALLY... 23. Remember Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. ~Lee Trevino | ||
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Thank you. Also I recommend for anyone who has not read it before,P.G. Wodehouse's books on golf.If you do not laugh,you are already dead. Never mistake motion for action. | |||
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