1) Thoroughly clean toilet.
2) Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3) Find and soothe cat as you carry it to the bathroom.
4) In one swift move,place the cat in the toilet,close both lids and stand on them so the cat cannot escape.
5) The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds.(Ignore ruckus from inside toilet,cat is enjoying itself)
6)Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse,which is quite effective.
7) Have someone open the outside door,stand as far from the toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids.
8) Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and out the door where it will soon air dry.
Sincerely; The Dog

[ 06-24-2003, 06:41: Message edited by: derf ]

derf - you are a brave man (unless of course kitty has no claws)

How about:

1. Tie cinder-block to cat.
2. Throw cat over bridge into river.
3. River current will clean cat.
4. Retrieve after 2-3 days, if desired.

You can skip step one and let the cat clean the toilet for you. At least you will have made the cat actually usefull for something.

Cats ARE useful, they make great targets.

derf, we never had a problem with too many cats on our farm where I grew up. We did however have a terrible problem with rocks. Every year we had to gather the darn things into an old feed sack, which we topped off with cats in order to weight it down. While crossing the bridge across the river on the way to town, a quick toss would get rid of the rocks for good. Be sure to use plenty of cats!! We only had enough cats to do this once a year!!

[ 06-24-2003, 17:51: Message edited by: 8MM OR MORE ]

You missed a step!

quote:

---

Originally posted by derf:
1) Thoroughly clean toilet.
2) Lift both lids and add shampoo.
2a) ADD CLOROX BLEACH!
3) Find and soothe cat as you carry it to the bathroom.
4) In one swift move,place the cat in the toilet,close both lids and stand on them so the cat cannot escape.
5) The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds.(Ignore ruckus from inside toilet,cat is enjoying itself)
6)Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse,which is quite effective.
7) Have someone open the outside door,stand as far from the toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids.
8) Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and out the door where it will soon air dry.
Sincerely; The Dog

---

clean cats
dead cats
sack full of cats and rocks

cat with firecracker in ass

Red; We can't have real fire crackers up here. Is it allowed to substitute home made high velosity stuff? And Kmule; my little cat is so gentle she won't even hunt spiders,however when she gets pissed she looks like a little black thunder-cloud full of razorblades. derf

hahaha, good one 8mm. You got to watch those damn rocks, if you feed them once, they just keep comin back.

derf, since firecrackers are not to be had where your at, try putting a couple of alka selzers in cats ass and quickly hit it with the superglue. Not as much fun, but its better than nothing.

That thought got a good laugh Red. I am currently feeding the local Crows and setting them up for a similar assault. derf

One thing I forgot, use the thin, watery superglue, the kind advertised as instant. Tried the gel type superglue the first time and the damn cat started ooozing nasty smelling substance. Gel type glue doesn't harden as fast. Took me forever to get cat to come back to me. Thats when the firecrackers started.