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>IRELAND DECLARES WAR ON AMERICA > >One afternoon, Bill Clinton was sitting in his office when his >telephone rang. > >"Hello Mr. Clinton," a heavily accented voice says". This is Paddy >down in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that I am >officially declaring war on you!" > >"Well, Paddy," Bill replies, "This indeed is important news! Tell me, >how big is your army?" > >"At this moment in time," says Paddy after a moments calculation, >"There is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbour Gerry and the >entire dominoes team from the pub. That makes 8!" > >Bill sighs and says, "I must tell you Paddy that I have 1 million men >in my army waiting to move on my word" > >"OK," says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!" > >Sure enough, the next day Paddy calls back. "Right Mr. Clinton, the >war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!" > >"What equipment would that be, Paddy?" Bill asks. > >"Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor >>from the farm" > >Once more Bill sighs and says, "I must tell you Paddy that I have >50,000 tanks, 2000 mine layers, 10,000 armoured cars and my army has >increased to 1 and a half million since we last spoke" > >"I'll be dogged!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!" > >Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Right Mr Clinton, the >war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've >gotten out old Ted's cropsrayer with a couple of rifles in the cockpit >and the bridge team has joined us as well!" > >Once more Bill sighs and says "I must tell you Paddy that I have 4000 >bombers and 8000 high manouverability attack planes and my military >installations are surrounded by laser guided surface to air missiles >and since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million." > >"Oh cripes," says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back" > >Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Right Mr. Clinton, I am >sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war" > >"I'm very sorry to hear that," says Bill. "Why the sudden change of >heart?" > >"Well," says Paddy, "We've all had a chat and t'be sure, there's no >way we can cope with 2 million prisoners | ||
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One of Us |
For heavens sake man, you have to do more than change a couple of names to make the joke new. Definitely not up to your usual standards. derf | |||
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