Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035............

*Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

* Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock.

*Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon).

*George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

*35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

*Nursing home event...Bill Clinton denies allegations of affair with candy striper.

*Texas executes last remaining citizen.

*Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

*Baby conceived naturally...scientists stumped.

*Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

*Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles.

*Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches.

*Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

*New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats be registered by January 2036.

There is a saying that humor can only truly be humorous if there is a kernel of truth behind it.

Some of these are pretty close to reality now.

But, funny.

Rich