Hear about the Arab market that was so weird it was absolutely bazaar?

O.K., your turn........

Hear about the Egyptian girl that was laid in her coffin + became a mummy?

i've always thought the worst surprise in the world was a fart with a lump in it.............

Take my wife......Please!
Pete

" Those are my priciples, and if you don't like them, well.. I have others". Groucho Marx

The Arabs were known to be very romantic. Their lovemaking was intense.

Meanwhile back at the oasis the arabs were eating their dates.

A girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.

If it weren't for pick-pocketers I'd have no sex life at all.

And we were poor too. Why if I wasn't born a boy.... I'd have nothing to play with.

During sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

Two come to mind:

While an eagle may fly, a weasel never gets sucked into a jet engine.

It is a dog eat dog world and I am wearing milkbone underwear.

A woman claimed she had lost 15 pounds. My friend's father-in-law asked, "Have you looked behind you?"

Some old but good ones:

I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.

Your mama is so dumb, she took an IQ test and the results were negative.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I'm so broke I can't even spend the night.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?