A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"
"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered. However, the house pay's for their room and board and health care.

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house.
We observe all union rules."
The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" "The girls get $80 and the house gets $20, and the ladies pay for their own room and board and health care as they see fit."
"That's more like it!" the union man said.
He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde.
"I'd like her," he said.
"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next. Enjoy!"

Being open shop I really like that one.

Being unionized...this kinda pisses me off.

Seniority has pretty much nothing to do with anything anymore.

Everything has to be "fair and equitable"

Oh, and everyone has to get the chance to work in every area within our department...if they're competent or not.

Unions are now for those who don't want to work, but still hold down a job. One of my coworkers has been here for 8 years and still requires training on a regular basis, but Management won't cut their losses because she's a "visible minority" with a child and another on the way...

So why are you still in the union? Is it a requirement of the position?

Canada may be different, but in the US, if my memory is correct, in a union shop, pretty much everything hinges on seniority...

Sounds like unions of the last 20 years..... pay lots of dues, get next to nothing in return... the union officers work hardly any time if at all.... the union headquarters gets rich and pays those people high pay.....What will it take to wake people up to this and boot them out.

quote:

Originally posted by CoyoteKiller82:
Being unionized...this kinda pisses me off.

Seniority has pretty much nothing to do with anything anymore.

Everything has to be "fair and equitable"

Oh, and everyone has to get the chance to work in every area within our department...if they're competent or not.

Unions are now for those who don't want to work, but still hold down a job. One of my coworkers has been here for 8 years and still requires training on a regular basis, but Management won't cut their losses because she's a "visible minority" with a child and another on the way...

Each to their own
I run Union shop in my house - I'm living in there longest so I set the rules and the others doing the chores
Fair? Who cares, I'm the boss...

Unions served a very valid purpose in the U.S. 50-75 years ago when companies treated people like sh*t. I don't see the need anymore.

Old style unions still exist in many other parts of the world. Latin America for one will kill you with union demands, threats, and corruption.

Australia was a mixed bag. One union actually worked with us, were very professional, and we had very good relations with them. The other was a throw-back; threats, intimidation, thugs, vandalism; anything to achieve their goal.

Loved the joke though.

companies view employees as a renewable resource, and the only part of the manufacturing process they can control.

Tell:

a. the power company they are charging too much for the electricity/gas and that they have to give you a rebate/lower rate so your CEO can send his kids to Harvard.

b. the government, OSHA/EPA/IRS that their demands are unreasonable in terms of safety, pollution levels and tax rates, and that they have to back up to the levels of ten years ago so your COO can send his kids to Yale.

c. your stockholders/board of directors that their ROI is too high, and that they need to live with the rate of inflation so your CFO can send his kids to MIT.

Their response: get screwed!

d. cut your union employees wages and benefits so you can take the deal a/b/c tell you take or leave.


Rich

quote:

Originally posted by CoyoteKiller82:
Being unionized...this kinda pisses me off.

Seniority has pretty much nothing to do with anything anymore.

That right there is funny, good thing this is in the humor forum.

As I've said,since I have my own metal shop (open) I don't have much truck with the union.Sure they started out as a good thing,protecting the rights of workers,but they got out of hand. Back in the dark ages when I was happy to get $5.00 an hour working for another man the union boys were making $19.95 per hour for the same journeyman position.And their work was not superior to mine. There is too much graft in the organization now.Big money brings criminal interests.Don't get me wrong. I have friends in my profession that are union just like I have a few friends that are democrat.We don't sever all ties. Oh Rich BTW, I am paying for one in community college while the others took their's courtesy of Uncle Sugar.

quote:

Originally posted by Idaho Sharpshooter:
companies view employees as a renewable resource, and the only part of the manufacturing process they can control.

Tell:

a. the power company they are charging too much for the electricity/gas and that they have to give you a rebate/lower rate so your CEO can send his kids to Harvard.

b. the government, OSHA/EPA/IRS that their demands are unreasonable in terms of safety, pollution levels and tax rates, and that they have to back up to the levels of ten years ago so your COO can send his kids to Yale.

c. your stockholders/board of directors that their ROI is too high, and that they need to live with the rate of inflation so your CFO can send his kids to MIT.

Their response: get screwed!

d. cut your union employees wages and benefits so you can take the deal a/b/c tell you take or leave.


Rich

Well, hell, just turn your power off, live off grid....that will show the greedy bastards.

quote:

companies view employees as a renewable resource, and the only part of the manufacturing process they can control.

Tell:

a. the power company they are charging too much for the electricity/gas and that they have to give you a rebate/lower rate so your CEO can send his kids to Harvard.

b. the government, OSHA/EPA/IRS that their demands are unreasonable in terms of safety, pollution levels and tax rates, and that they have to back up to the levels of ten years ago so your COO can send his kids to Yale.

c. your stockholders/board of directors that their ROI is too high, and that they need to live with the rate of inflation so your CFO can send his kids to MIT.

Their response: get screwed!

d. cut your union employees wages and benefits so you can take the deal a/b/c tell you take or leave.

I guess you have a lot of experience running a business with employees??????


.

Good joke.

We had one union vote in our shop - it didn't pass. It was all started by a couple of young white kids that didn't like the 20+ year Hispanics making more than them. A while after the vote they were both caught stealing. I took pleasure in firing both their arses.

The full-time union reps nowadays are just your basic thugs. High school bullies that never grew up.

quote:

Originally posted by Jon Beutler:

quote:

Originally posted by CoyoteKiller82:
Being unionized...this kinda pisses me off.

Seniority has pretty much nothing to do with anything anymore.

That right there is funny, good thing this is in the humor forum.

Yeah, that was WAY funnier than the original, rather dated joke from the OP.

Keep them coming CK...you'll have us all in stitches!