I don't think I've seen this one on the post. "He or She is nervous as a whore in church ".

Two vultures looking at congress; one says to the other: "Patience my ass! I wanna kill something."

Then there is: Kill them all. Let God sort them out. (You may apply this to any terrorist group.)

No matter where you go, there you are.

Well, okay. Here are a few of my favorites.

"In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not." Yogi Berra

"I spent a year in that town, one Sunday afternoon." WC Fields.

"A man who doesn't like cute puppies and little children can't be all bad." WC Fields

"Credibility is a non-renewable resource." My wife

quote:

Originally posted by Ricardo C:
I don't think I've seen this one on the post. "He or She is nervous as a whore in church ".

I always say "Hotter than a Cambodian whore house" or "Sweating more than a whore in church."

Some years ago I was in Singapore in taxi on my way to the airport. The cab driver, speaking in English but with a heavy Chinese accent, said "How you a like Singapore?"

I said, "It is okay, but hotter than a Cambodian whore house."

He resonded, "oh, you like a whore house? I know best whore house in all of Thailand...here, I write down numba."

I said, "No, it was just a joke."

"No," he says, looking back at me while driving in heavy traffic, "This best - you should try."

Never paid for sex and never did there either.

You made you're bed, now lie in it.

You cant get blood from a turnip.

Colder than a well diggers ass.

Luck favors the prepared.

There are no Atheists on a battlefield.

That one's a couple chicken nuggets short of a happy meal.

Shit or get off the pot.

Her daddy says she's the best kisser in the county.

Flat out like a lizard drinking, was the one I picked up in Australia.

About statistics, which can prove or falsify about anything spending on what the statistician is tasked to do:

"With four parameters, I can fit an elephant, and with five I can make him wiggle his trunk." — Attributed to von Neumann by Enrico Fermi." From: Watts Up With That

At my age, anything I say is an old saying.

Busier than a 1 Arm Paper Hanger
Drunker than a "Football Bat"
Easy come easy go
2 Morrow is promised 2 NO ONE

U reap what U sow
Take it Gentle Now

Festina lente (σπεῦδε βραδέως) which translates to:

"Make haste slowly."

Hotter than a two peckered Billy Goat, Colder than a Well Diggers ass in the Klondike,

Cowboy humor:
Don't shit where ya eat. (meaning don't complain about the cooks cooking)

Keep ya horse saddled behind the barn! ( be ready to make a run for it)

He shoulda been gilflurted and stringhaultered..

He's meaner than a town dog..

Shes' ben rode hard and put up wet.

If she had as many sticking out of her as shes had poked in her, she'd look like a porkepine!

Pouting: He swole up like a poisoned dog.

A good rope horse: He can stop on dime and give ya 15 cents change..He can run a hole in the wind!

Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest..

dumber than a box of rocks (hammers is an alternate)



This could go on for months.