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the amount of money their financial fund manager makes

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Originally posted by Kensco:

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the amount of money their financial fund manager makes

FIRE THEIR FINANCIAL ADVISOR, IF THEY HAVE ONE. I have never understood why people are unable to handle their own wealth and financial decisions. I pay an accountant to do my taxes because it is too complex for me. Investing is not.

I feel the same way about taxes as you describe. I hope I pay a lot of taxes because that means I made a lot of money. (I don't like tax cheats.) My accountant sees to it that I remain within the law.

I am not looking for tax right-offs. That usually means "losses".

I believe financial advisors are like psychiatrists. Most of them are heavily flawed individuals, with more problems than their clients.

If the person you described is retired he or she needs to be "steady" in terms of their investments, not searching for investment vehicles they don't understand.

I don't obsess about taxes. I am fine paying my fair share.

~Ann

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Originally posted by Kensco:
Simplify her investments as much as possible, if she'll let you. Your mother sounds like my mother when she was in her 80s. She was very set in her ways; thought any suggestions were an assault on her freedom and independence. My older brother nearly got disowned for suggesting she move into assisted living. (She never did.) I bought her a new TV for her birthday and a piece of furniture to set it on. She was chewing me out the whole time I was getting it set-up, and told me she wanted her old TV back. (It took about two weeks until she loved her new TV.)

My mother enjoyed feeling special, and she felt that way by writing generous checks around Christmas time. We tried to push back, but incurred her wrath, so we thanked her and accepted her gift.

I'm not sure there is a solution to your problem. Have patience and listen to her stories as if you've never heard them before. (Very hard to do, but it does more harm than good to point out that they repeat themselves.)

Oddly enough, I would argue with my mother for no particular reason. I think it kept her sharp and engaged in life. When I felt it had gone on long enough, I would concede. She enjoyed "winning". (My son was horrified at times I think, but my mother and I had a good relationship.)

She was all business; drove a team of mules in the field when she was seven alongside her dad's team. He had no sons; three daughters. The first worked in the house with my grandmother. The second (my mother) worked in the field with my grandfather. The third was spoiled rotten.

It's frustrating getting old and losing control of everything around you, one piece at a time. No wonder they get angry. (I'm practicing on the ANGRY part now. I see no point in waiting until I'm 80.)

~Ann

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Originally posted by RCG:
Ann, perhaps you should look into a relationship with a commercial bank in her area that has a trust department. Perhaps her existing bank has one. A trust department has a different outlook on their clients investments than a traditional Financial planner/advisor or a brokerage firm would have. She could also set up spendthrift trusts that would protect your brothers from themselves. By having the bank as trustee, it may also take pressure off of you and your Mom.

Good luck.

~Ann

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Originally posted by Lester Brooks:
Ann, I know what you are going thru. People that will not make a will is a real problem for family members. I spent over 6 weeks in court houses checking through Deeds. A farm that was never properly surveyed and then finding 3 people that had known the family for over 30 yrs to verify the kids of this family. A lot of problems!!!!

An uncle that died without a will and told his sister that he wanted his money go to the nephews, nieces, and brothers equal to each. Only 28 involved and no one contested his wishes. Over $500,000 was in the estate and everyone was surprised. Thanks UNCLE RIP

I finally got my father and mother to make a will after telling what we had gone thru settling other relatives estates. After mother died my dad was being chased by 3 or 4 women wanting him to marry them. Finally got dad to agree to an IRREVACBLE TRUST. When these women found out that the TRUST WAS FILED AT THE COURT HOUSE that ended the chase!! Just 14 pages long and cost the estate $5,000 , but was worth it in the long run. I paid out over 3 yrs in the rest home over $100,000 as private pay. My wife and I kept very good records as I was the Trustee in charge. It can be hard to get the older persons to agree to release CONTROL of their assets. I kept about $10,000 in his checking account that he could spend for anything he wanted. I would have to agree if he wanted to spend more on a new car. The brothers were waiting inline after dad died for me to give them their share. The CPA had to finalize the records and pay the final taxes for this estate which took about 8 months before the trust was ended. My dad died just before his 93rd birthday. One of my brothers thought we were stealing his funds and we had to prove that every penny was accounted for in the records. My attorny told me to start charging the estate travel expenses and also charge a fee for running the TRUST. After a day of going over everything and I announced that I would be charging $5,000 a yr to keep records. Money in CD's, property rents, a farm, money in checking acct's, payments for property sold, and about 10 deeded properties to keep records on was a full time job for me.

I could tell more, but if you don't get the estate under control before it is too late someone else will make the decissions.

~Ann

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(Iron and lead, mean guns and ammo.)

~Ann