Going north on Interstate 5 this weekend and saw several cars jamming brakes and swerving with one going completely off the road. Braced for a major wreck ahead and then as the cars in front of me swerved out of the way I saw the cause of all the frantic manuevers - a scared cat in the road. The thing was just frozen there. My wife screamed as I gripped the steering wheel tightly. There was no damned way I was going to be in a wreck. I skillfully manuvered my truck and flattened the damn cat.
Am I a safe driver or what???

Best of the best I would even go as far as saying you deserve a discount on your vehicle insurance.

Ain't life in the bubble a grand thing?

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.IsWifey.StillScreaming ?

Good job!!

You need to start lining up those little paw print decals on the drivers-side door like DD does.

Sounds good NSS, where do I get the decals? I'll need a lot of them.

You can copy any paw print pic on the Net onto vinyl with adhesive, "Hammermill Clear Window Decals" work for glass, they make other stuff too, all intended for this sort of frivolity. You need bumper sticker grade stuff though, industrial strength. PETAphiles get kinda pissy when they see you're a triple ace.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.RanOutOf.Door

Saw something similar on the road here some years ago. A poor crat already hit by a car, his back broken and lying in the middle of the road kicking around like mad. All the cars driving all over the road to avoid hitting the poor thing, and of course every one drove on once they passed him. I took him clean with both my left wheels to end the misery...

When I think about it, I deserve three of those stickers...

/Marterius

There it is, THE symbol! How about one of our puter experts posting an "official" print that can be copied and then we can independently paint our warbirds. Mine are going to be gold colored and FIVE in number. Been at this a while.

Should we be posting print decal for all kills or just crat or just four legged ones DD is putting them on his driver side door seems like a good model to me.

"I know not what tracks others may post, but give me cat or give me naught!" G. ned ludd, 2003.....one of my favorite philosophers. N.S.

Whilst out looking for tracks I found this:

http://sandtracker.tripod.com/cat-tracks.html

It makes all the work you guys do worthwhile!

I'll be back with a pic or two.

While you're waiting:

CAT HEAVEN

by Cynthia Rylant



The way to Cat Heaven is a field of sweet grass
where crickets and butterflies play.

A cat may be late in getting to Heaven . . .
there's so much fun on the way!
But an angel will wait
at the yellow front door,
wait til a kitty
comes home.

And when she arrives,
he'll give her a kiss
and some milk
in a bowl all her own.

There are trees
in Cat Heaven,
trees made just for cats,
trees growing
so green and so high.

But no one gets stuck in a tree
anymore --
if a cat wants down,
she will fly!

And oh the toys,
kitty toys everywhere,
thousands and thousands
go by.

There are buttons and baubles
and small cotton mice --
there is catnip afloat
in the sky!

There are angels,
of course,
with soft angel laps
where kitties can purr
loud and strong.


The angels will rub
kitties' noses and ears
and sing them
a Cat Heaven song.

And when cats are hungry,
there's God's kitchen counter
all covered with
white kitty dishes,
full of tuna and salmon
and mounds of sardines,
and wonderful little pink fishes.

The cats in Cat Heaven
are so loved and spoiled
God lets them all
lie on his bed . . .
He walks in His garden
with a good black book
and a kitty
asleep on His head.

Then when a cat needs,
she may just simply ponder
and watch the blue world deep and wide . . .

She will watch the old house
where she once lived and wandered,
and the people who loved her inside.

All cats love Heaven,
they know the way there,
they know where
the angel cats fly.

They'll run past the stars
and the moon and the sun . . .
. . . to curl up with God in the sky.

Pass the Ballistic Tips and Hot Sauce please.



Try this link too!

http://www.perfectpeturn.com/caturn.html

Maybe this is too cumbersome for the door?

http://www.tinasthings.com/25cb0600.jpg


Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.Domestic.Spoor

Great track site! www.bear-tracker.com/domcat.html

quote:

Pass the Ballistic Tips and Hot Sauce please

Yeah..uh ..huh..My ass.

Does anyone have any motion sickness pills?

Do they still make 'dramamin?' (sp)

I thing instead of a crat track, that a "Bill the Cat" decal would be a better choice. He looks like he has been hit by a car, several times.

Hog Killer

AOWM has the right idea. You should get a medal and a big fat insurance rebate. How many wrecks could that stupid cat have caused? Maybe serious injuries, and a traffic nightmare, resulting in lost productivity. The economy can't afford that kind of shenanigans.

Honorable mention to Marterius too. As much as we all hate the little bastards, might as well end the misery when you can.

Reminds me of when I was 6 or 7. My sister and I were in the back of the car, dad driving home late one night. It was on our rural home road, lots of farmland around. Out pops a big hare. It freezes just long enough to make my dad think he's got a chance at dinner the next day. But the hare came to just in time and jumped a ditch. Got pretty close though.

My wife is appalled at that story. She doesn't know the joy of a good hare. My mom made a mean hare, or rabbit, or duck...

quote:

Reminds me of when I was 6 or 7. My sister and I were in the back of the car, dad driving home late one night. It was on our rural home road, lots of farmland around. Out pops a big hare. It freezes just long enough to make my dad think he's got a chance at dinner the next day. But the hare came to just in time and jumped a ditch. Got pretty close though.

An old fishing buddy of mine, who did not hunt, was very fond of hare. He almost put us in the ditch when a nice fat hare crossed the road once, but he got his steak.

Another friend collected roadkill to cook for his dog but his wife made him quit that habit after he came home with a hare that looked fresh but had been out in the sun for some time after the car had droven straight over its belly, the content being liquid when he dressed it in their kitchen. Guess his name should have been Bubba Joe, had he lived in the States.

Regards,
Martin

quote:

Originally posted by DigitalDan:

PERFECT

Hog Killer

Driving home (back to camp) one bright &sunny morn I happened to flatern a feral cat whom like me was going home after an everning of hunting! I made mention of this to another shooter whom was sharing my camp at the time.As a passing comment I mentioned that if I clocked 18 I would be an 'ace'He very rightly pointed out that Pro shooters had to get 100 in 12mths to become respected 'ACE's.& so children it started. I must admit I got worried at 88 kills in 9mths but my luck changed when going past the homestead of the owner of property I was working I chanced to clean up his pet simease .Ha! it was the turning point of my talley.Yes folks 100 in 11mths (the owner never did find out what happened to his cat)

Went to W...mart to see if there were any strange cats about. There were. Found that they sell little squares of thin brown magnetic plastic for hobby uses. Well, I drew that paw print above on it, cut it out with my exacto and, voila! a combination commemorative trophy stencil for the F-150 door and "secret" magnetic badge of cat controllers worldwide to keep in my wallet.

NS,

Becarefull, you might ruin your credit cards magnetic strips.

Hog Killer

Close to Sherlock's system I have made a template out of 1/8" plate steel using drill bits & die grinder now with a utility knife I can cutout the stenciled pattern out of sticker stock (available at your local printer).

Deciple-of-Keith,

100 is a lot of cat impacts. I'd have to put a brush guard on my Corvette. That would be fun though, cats hunting at 125 mph. With the fuel injected 427 I shoul be able to get a few from stop signs in residential areas. On second thought, I'll keep using my truck. It is slower but I can follow them down into the ditches where they think they are safe.

Dan That Bill the Crat looks like Birman after hauking up hairballs.

I looked like that a few times in younger years. Behold, the power of whiskey!

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.ChasinWimmen.BeDangerous

HK, did you ever notice that when the magnetic stripe goes, the counter clerks have just a helluva time reading the card number?

Brilliant observation Sherlock this may seem shady but I think my credit cards are going to save me some money.

oeh.By all means use the truck to chase cats .The only place I draw the line (and that may change ) is small children on theirfront porches holding their pet cats

If you honk your horn enough before hitting the porch the kids will run and abandon the cats which then become fair game. Abandoned is about the same as feral.

If you honk your horn enough before hitting the porch the kids will run and abandon the cats which then become fair game. Abandoned is about the same as feral.

Old Elk Hunter. Thank you for your wisdom! .This has opened up a whole new av for me! mind you my kids are getting worried (I'm using them as crash test dummies to get my time of warning to time of impact down to millie seconds)