A petsmart in maryland has been selling kittens in maryland infected with rabies!!!! Now new crat owners do'nt have to wait to get the full crat experience!!!! Get that cat piss fragrance through the house,,,have the furniture shredded,,then let it bite them,and then they too can go nuts and recive a long series of painfull shots!! Have fun!!Clay

Of course you know that no one at PetsSmucks would take the rabid vermin out back, and smash their heads against the cinderblock wall. Or tape them up in a box and leave it below the loading dock for the next truck.

Hog Killer

5 people are now reciving rabies shots,,They retrieved the rest of the batch,,only one tested positive,,there's a few less crats in the world,,Kill'em ALL!!!Clay

The woman that bosses me around got a dawg a Petsmuck.A local county shelter has a lil' kiosk and has crats and mongrels for adoption.$40.00 for a dawggie and $35.00 for a crat.
The West Virginia Curly-Tailed,black/tan trailer trash dawg the wife got had been adopted/returned twice.That should tell ya sumptin',but nooooooooo,not my Mensa Queen.
It was about 12 degrees outside that day,had the Mudder-N-law with us.We were cruising home with our her new dawg,and all of a sudden,Terrorist let off a Sarin bomb or something.Damndest smell filled the Caprice.Windows were not just rolled down a bit,I wanted to kick the windshield out.I was drivin' 75+ with my head out the window like one of them there train engineers.Snot froze in my 'stache.
Seems the ole lady's new dawg had been eatin roadkill or dug up a corpse or sumpthing.My God,pickled eggs and draft beer pales beside these fumes.And the dawg kept pumpin'this cyanide out like it was her fuggin'job.
It took awhile to get the stench outta my sinuses.It clung to my clothes much like Honky-Tonk smell does.
I could hear the song from Jeopardy emitting from my wifes head.I believe she was pondering that this Toxic Waste factory might have been brought back to the pound for this reason.Twice.I thought so too.
We were almost right.Besides emitting fumes that you could smell and see,this mongrel proceeded to eat my house.Chairs,stairs,table legs,edges of terra-cotta flowerpots,window ledges,calculators,key-fobs,pens/pencils,rolls of masking/electrical tape,potholders,anything it could reach got chewed up.
Outside,chew targets included rocks,bits of broken bricks,asphalt chunks,wooden garden gate and fence,plant markers,the edges of the back porch steps,wheels on both grills,all my grillin' tool handles,shovel/hoe/axe handles,any and all plants,all the Nephews toys,water bowls and lil' garden statues.
The lil' bitch could chew a hole inna racquet ball.(try to cut one open)
The Boss wanted to name the thing Wendy. I changed it to Windy.

Pole man, I'm still laughing at the "fumes that you could smell and see" line ...

We used to have some Old English Mastiffs that were almost as bad -- from both ends.

They were brutal to be near after a good meal, but my ex-wife and I had them inside. One day I got home from work and as I opened the door, I saw the mastiffs in the floor playing with a 2x4. Now - I don't just leave 2x4s laying around the house ...

as I opened the door wider, the magnitude of the situation hit me. Those two big bastards had torn through the drywall of the house, and had managed to RIP A WALL STUD out of the house. And were sitting there merrily playing tug-a-war with each other with it in the living room floor.

That was the last day they stayed inside unattended.

And another story to add about those mastiffs - this one (from a personal perspective anyway, is much worse).

We have a ma & pop BBQ place down here that sells huge, jumbo-sized BBQ baked potatoes, as big as a size 11 shoe. They then pile 'em high with chopped BBQ pork and chicken, lots of good homemade BBQ sauce, butter, bacon-bits, the works. These things are divine ... and $4.25 too.

So I swing by there on my way home from work one day and pick up a potato for my supper that night. I get home, put the potato on a plate, and my ex-wife calls me to help her with something in another room. So I put the potato down on the bar and walk to the living room. I do whatever it was she needed help with, and go back.

Elapsed time -- 15 - maybe 20 seconds tops.

I walk back into the kitchen and my plate is spotless. 15 (*#@ing seconds mind you - 15 seconds. No trace of that size 11 potato ANYWHERE. No BBQ sauce, no bits of pork or chicken, no butter, no NOTHING - that damn thing just vanished into oblivion, and there's no dogs in the floor eating it either ... they're both laying just exactly where they were when I came in.

I didn't like it much, but I really couldn't hold it against 'em either. Those potatos are mighty good. At least they never crapped in the house or peed on anything. Despite their idiosynchrosities and drool - and replacing a wall stud here or there, those mastiffs were pretty endearing.

It was always sort of fun to watch back then to watch the reaction of first-time visitors when they were met at the door by two 230 lb dogs.

These days, my new wife and I just have a little 12 lb. Cairn Terrier. Massive intimidation factor there

Yo, PT, why not try that dorg out to see if it like Glossette raisins? derf

quote:

Yo, PT, why not try that dorg out to see if it like Glossette raisins?

Nahh. She's pretty much of my buddy now.I think the El-Cheapo shelter food made her smell like a corpse.
She's fast enough to catch squills before they can make the trees.She is a polite lil Lady.She eats the head and chest,then leaves the other half for my Boss to find.
Weird thing about Windy is that whatever I'm eatin', she will too.Half-runners,corn,dill pickles,olives,kale,tootsie rolls(ya outta see THAT chewing)Sweet-tarts,pasta salad,popcornand even leaf lettuce.I believe if I acted like I was eating a roofing shingle,she would gag one down.

Ben,a neighborhood friend has a Mast.He weighs every bit of 250 lbs.But what a gentleman he is.When the people he owns go outta town for awhile,we keep him.He gets to playing with our two dogs like he is a puppy again.
I'm driving down your way after work.Show me that BBQ place and I'll buy.

This is Windy's older brudder,Willie.....



There ain't a arm for miles that he ain't wore out with that damn ball.Thats one of the raquet balls Windy hasn't eaten yet.
I got Windy's pic somewhere.

That little Cairn Terrier my wife has now is like that ... the thing LOVES carrot sticks. It'll eat lettuce, cabbage, raw squash, nacho chips - with or without salsa ... you name it.

Although for a dog - the topper still has to be those mastiffs to me.

I caught one of 'em one time eating an entire, softball sized, raw-onion it found on the kitchen counter. I was tempted to give him a beer to go along with it and put him in my wife's bed that night.

I gotta get a nice dorg like you folks have.

Here's the wife's guard dog I refer to as Yap Yap,


This is what you get when you buy a Jack Russel Terrier from an Amish guy. A cross between a Chihuahua and a barn rat. She may not look like much, but....well you're right, she isn't. Let me tell ya though, if my family was ever threatened she would launch. Launch herself right behind the couch and piss on the carpet. To protect her we keep watch out for chicken hawks and Chinese chefs.

Guys, thanks for one of the best rapid-fire strings of laughs I've had this year!

Very nice picture there CM!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by N. S. Sherlock:
Very nice picture there CM!!!!

The dog or the Jordanian corpse? Just two diferent kinds of ugly.

Pole,
Still !!
Lost me one of them spotted freaks here bouts' year ago. Dumbshit thought he could win a fight with car out on the road.
Well anyway found a litter O pups at the shelter. Gabbed me a lil brown one. At nine weeks seemed perfect. They figure the mix on Ma's side was Choc.Lab and Weinmernerner (or what ever that damn breed is) and Pa's BlackLab and Boxer.
Well, first puppy food worked good for a drool making machine. Never seen a dawg that was a whole 9 inches off the ground able to leave two slug trails across the floor after chow down time. For a while there had to keep a towel around to keep the goo string in check.
Then we change brands. BIG BIG mistake, not only was a towel a necessity but so was an SCBA. He had butt bombs that produced a green fog and would destroy a sence of smell. Oh and I should mention create tears, reminded me of walking in the GAS chamber in Ft Benning during Basic Training.
Well had to suffer through that twenty pounder. Next brand only produced less drool and a somewhat different "fragerence."
Me and Misses was saying must just be a puppy thing. Well we was WRONG! The drooling got much better but evry once in a while he will get ya with one. As far as the green hazed butt bombs, well they are also intermitent, I think. He is spending a lot more time outside these warmer dryer days so I aints to sure. He may be fumigating outside for all I know. Every once in a while he drop one in the house just to make sure we didn't put any new paint on the walls while he was outside.
I have even woke up from a dead sleep gagin from the little bugger popping off some pressure.
He still is my bestest buddy and we are gonna be getting him a puppy of his own real soon.


Smedley

quote:

I have even woke up from a dead sleep gagin

Oh boy ... if we're gonna get into this one ... it's not about a dog, but yours truly here.

The wife and I were out on a weekend hike last year sometime around January-February-ish down in the Conecuh National Forest. We pitched camp somewhere out in the woods, made supper, had a nice quiet evening there by the fire roasting marshmallows and looking at those red-glowing eyes that kept looking back at us from the underbrush. (They'd run if I shined a flashlight at 'em, so it wasn't too bad.)

So that night we went to bed in a little 3 man hiking tent, but for the life of me I don't know how they can consider it 3 man. Sometime that night - it happened. I started relieving pressure -- sometimes 20 or 30 seconds long, and when I caught a whiff -- well, it brought a tear to my eye.

My wife was in a dead sleep next to me, and woke up about a minute or so later, nearly gagging. She was crying, griping, complaining, and rushing for the door of the tent. She opened the door and stuck her head out, panting for air and cussing me the whole time.

I don't remember what I ate that night, but we'd brought along some dehydrated trail-meals, and a couple MREs , so it may have been one of those. Whatever it was, it was on par with any dog I've ever encountered.

It's those eyes...the luminous grey-green of the long dead, possessed by demons incarnate. If that beast is Catholic somebody needs to find it a priest.

Dan

POTYHC

WWW.DawnOf.TheDead

Nah she ain't Catholic, just pathetic.