quote:

Originally posted by L. David Keith:
I honestly thought about Raccoons, but then I thought Saeed wouldn't have Raccoons

I was charged by a cow elephant and that most certainly got my attention. We were driving through the edge of a mbuga in Mahenge S OA of Tanzania. A herd of elephant were on the far side. We stopped the truck to watch them. The fed their way out the other side up a hill and into the trees. We started moving agian to cross the Mbuga. The lead cow heard the truck and came straight off. The ground was so bad we couldn't drive faster than she could run. I grabbed my rifle and prepared for orders or to repell borders. The PH ended up shooting in the air and she got the message and slowed up. We were able to drive away.

That's a great story and all, but back to raccoons. Elephant and all the most uncomfortable/in danger I've ever felt while hunting was squirrel hunting several years ago on my uncle's farm in Ohio. He has more raccoons than you can shake a stick at and no one seems to be interested in hunting them, so we make them proverbial constant targets of oppertunity. I was out squirrel hunting and had shot a squirrel and a raccoon I had spotted napping away the afternoon in the fork of a tree. I was working my way around a grove of shaggy hickory nut trees with clumps of grape vines hanging from them when I spotted a large lump lying in the fork of a tree top. On closer inspection I determined it was several raccoons huddled together in the fork of the tree sleeping the day away. I finally made out a head and took careful aim. It fell like a rock from the tree at the shot, but all hell broke loose!!!! Several raccoons were running around the branches. One stopped with only the rear portion of his chest and flank exposed. I shot him through the liver???? and he went around the other side of the tree. While I was trying to position my self for a finishing shot on him another raccoon moved into a shootable position and I shot him in the throat while he was looking at me. Raccoon 3 fell to the ground dead. So I moved towards the base of the tree trying to get a clear shot at the second wounded raccoon. While standing at the base of the tree looking around I suddenly heard him coming down the tree. I looked up to see a raccoon hell bent immediately above me coming straight down the tree trunk for me. I had no idea weather I was just in the way or or he was coming for me, but I shouldered my .22 and with feet to spare managed to center the crosshairs between his eyes and pull the trigger! He fell deader than a door nail quite literally AT my feet!!! YIKES!!!!!! For our overseas breatherin a raccoon can weigh as much as 20-30lbs and has plenty of teeth to back it up if propperly motivated!!!

Brett

quote:

Originally posted by Saeed:
We hadf two baby raccoons, and they werfe one of the funniest pets around.

We had them in a room here in the house. I used to take them out in teh evening, and let them loose in our living room while we had dinner and later watched TV.

They used to run around, hide and generally be a source of so much fun for us.

For instance, they would chase each other, running over the back of the settee we are sitting on, then around over our legs. Sometimes one would take a detour, by going into the sleeve opening of my t-shirt, go inside, and poke hius head under my chin.

Anyway, we decided to build them a cage outside, connected to our veranda, with stairs they could climb to get beck inside.

I put them into that cage - it is quite lartge, as large as a room.

They clung to me like nothing. They would not let me go.

Eventually I managed to extricate myself and left.

About an hour later, I went to have a look at them.

I could find only one. There was no sign of the smaller one. And the other one was looking really anxious for his friend.

I went looking for the other one.

Apparently he climbed the ladder, and managed to squeeze through the sliding window which was barely open, and hid inside.

I took him back.

He was clinging to me like his life depended on it.

Again, I had a hard job leaving their cage. And after quite a struggle, they attacked me.

I was wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

They were biting me where they ever could get hold of.

I got bitten on my legs, my arms, my little finger on my left hand was broken, with bites down to the bone.

I did not want to hurt them, as it would have been very easy to kill them.

Luckily we had a smaller transporter cage inside, and I managed to put both in and close it.

Blood was pouring out of my wounds, I was leaving a blood trail like a wounded animal.

I had 57 stitches.

We took them back in again, and I could not get close to them for about 3 months.
Eventually we became friends again.

One was called Yogi and was called Fatty.

I've always said that racoons are like the gang members of the wildlife world. I hate racoons!

In 1999, I was hunting Sika deer in Texas, when I shot a large sika stag at a distance of about 100 yards. He dropped immediately at the shot, and I stepped out of the blind to claim my prize. As I approached, he began to thrash around, and it was apparent that the bullet had hit the spine, making it impossible for him to get up and run away. Being a strong man all my life, I thought it would be a simple matter of grabbing him by the antler bases and breaking his neck to end matters. Well,when I grabbed him by the bases, he flipped me end over end in a flash, I got up and grabbed hold again, this time, he rammed a brow tine into my leg above the knee. I came to my senses, and got my '06 to finish the job. That is the last time I will try anything heroic like that.

What is the closest you came to getting hurt by an animal?


About six feet!

A snapping turtle with a shell the size of a bushel basket miraculously came back to life in the trunk of my buddies car. It was quick enough to grab hold of the skin of the side of my hand. I was lucky enough to pull free with only a small tear that probably needed a stitch or two but I didn't bother.

I got my revenge; he tasted good in soup!

I was blindsided by a wildcow in thick brush here in central Texas. She knocked me down , broke my left arm,3-4 ribs, and left numerous cuts and bruises. My red aussie dog ,Nick , got her off me so I could solve her probs w/ my S/W .44 mag.

David,
Tell us more about the witch.

Cross L,

Your post reminded me of something, although it didn't happen to me.

At my deer lease, we had a lot of turkeys. We also had some serious turkey hunters. It was common place to see big gobblers strutting hundreds of yards away from cover. These turkeys had become impossible to kill with a shotgun under normal circumstances.

One of the guys got a bright idea. He built a very unique portable blind. It was shaped and painted like a cow. He had a seat in the middle between these two life size plywood cows. He thought he was a genius.

Well, several of us were laughing at him. He got pissed off and decided to show us. He threw the blind over a fence and into a pasture. He carried it out about 50 yards and sat it down. He got inside to show us how well he was concealed. We were all laughing. I happened to look up and I saw several bulls RUNNING his way! He had forgotten that this was the bull pasture. I pointed this out to my friends. We stood on the back of the porch yelling ," abandon cow, abandon cow ." He thought we were crazier than hell until he saw the bulls running his way. He got out of the blind and high tailed it for the fence. He jumped over the fence in just enough time to see one of the bulls attempt to mount the blind.

The blind didn't survive and he gave up on that idea!

What is the closest you came to getting hurt by an animal?

Well, it was only a brief liason but she left suddenly and I never heard from her again. She never wrote or even called....... I'll say it hurt!



Sorry guys. I've been fighting the temptation since the question was asked and my sense of humour finally got the better of me!

Steve.

I wonder what she is saying today?



Perhaps " Girls, He was awful..short,ugly,harry and carnivorious" .


Elton

quote:

Originally posted by SBT:
David,
Tell us more about the witch.

Ah, okay, the witch....

Well, she wasn't exactly a witch I suppose, but a woman who had a huge amount of power amongst the locals in the area where I was working at the time. Everybody was terrified of her - you know how superstitious Africans can be.
Anyway, the 'witch' ended up doing a stint as a maid for me and another couple of guys in the bachelor digs. It was a very short stint as one day I caught her stealing (it had been happening a lot) and lost my temper. I ordered her from the house and told her never to return. I was standing by the door, my arm outstretched, motioning for her to leave and bellowing at the same time, and as she walked past me she latched on, sinking her filthy fangs into my upper arm. I couldn't believe it, and lifted my arm up in surprise, lifting her off the ground at the same time! Then I came to my senses, gripped her behind the neck and squeezed. she went limp almost immediately and then I tossed her out the door. I tossed with a bit to much enthusiasm because she flew through the air a short distance, before hitting the landing, rolling off it and falling 6 feet to the ground. Then she hastened off, fortunately without casting a spell on me. Blood was pumping from my arm and I gave it a thorough scrubbing before radioing my best gamescouts and instructing them to go and arrest the witch for assault. It was the only time they ever refused to carry out one of my orders - scared silly they were. There was nothing for it but to initiate round 2 as I didn't want to lose face, and so I tracked her down in the compound and arrested her. She tried to gouge and bite again but this time I was ready and had her cuffed fast, managing to avoid losing face in any sense!

She has (had) AIDS. I was on anti-retrovirals for 3 months. I have had myself tested for HIV several times since then. I have a fairly prominent bite-mark on my arm.

But that was nothing compared to the thief who bit a chunk from my neck!! Damn, can't these people just punch or kick or something!

Whoa, Dave. Now that is scary! Is the witch dead yet?

quote:

Originally posted by Use Enough Gun:
Whoa, Dave. Now that is scary! Is the witch dead yet?

Yeah, real scary - I would have preferred to be bitten by anything else but the witch. I don't know if she's dead - the 'evil sanctions' that you chaps have imposed on Zim doesn't include medicines ( or anything at all actually, as we know), and anti-retros are available to all now.

Anyway, as I said, nothing compared to the thief. That epic battle was an absolute bloodbath (both noses, both mouths) and at some stage the thief tore some flesh from my neck with his gnashers. Losing a little ground, he then attacked with a brick, prompting me to also seek a weapon, which came to hand in the the form of a tyre lever. That was too much for him and he bolted (hobbled), but I couldn't finish the job because my shoulder was dislocated and hanging limply, and I was totally exhausted. Fight lasted a long time and drew quite a crowd.
there was plenty of AIDS kicking around then
(early nineties), but no anti-retros, and so I really sweated for months on end.

That chap was shot dead by a policeman the following week when he attacked another fellow with a knife. Shot with an FN in a busy shopping centre!

David:

Are you going to be in the Save next week? I just might run into you there. I am going to hunt a few days om ARDA & Hammond before I go to Mahenye.

Larry,

Unfortunately not. Everything that could possibly go wrong on the walk has gone wrong and we've made very little progress in recent times. We've had to pull out a number of times for various reasons - the latest was that we had to pull out to earn some money! In brief: Jephita, my first tracker, packed it in earlier in the year and it took time to organize another suitable guy, Felix, whom you know. I had malaria three times in a row and the last bout was pretty bad. Got tested and was riddled with bilharzia too...Also have had to break due to major problems with the metatarsals in my foot, which have been causing me agony. Anyway, all sorted now - metatarsals, money for the next while, bilharzia and malaria, Felix rearing to go....We'll be back on track in a few days, but are still a long way from the Save. I will post a report soon. I remember a buddy of mine telling me the walk would take two years and scoffing at him, but we are only moving into the eastern highlands now and already a year has flown by...Bearing in mind that there has been so much downtime. We started off well but things went downhill from Kariba on. But I am not disheartened - we will persevere and prevail. Nothing matters except that we finish. And there is good news - I have been selling some photos from the walk (printed in large A1 format with teak frames), and they are going down well. For the first time, the walk is actually putting something into its own coffers! A major book publisher is also interested in the Borderline book concept which I've been busy putting together, so I'm stoked about that....So, ups and downs, but everything okay. I hope you are well Larry, and I hope you have a great hunt. What will you be hunting besides elephant? Good time to get a good bull in Mahenye. Who are you hunting with?

Cheers, Dave

Alistair is sending me with Collen again. I am happy with that. I like him and he is good at what he does.

I am going to give a go for my 34th buffalo. If time permits, anything else that catches my attention.

Collen is a good hunter for sure and easy to get on with. Number 34, damn! That's quite a total. Well, have a super hunt Larry, I know you will. Look forward to the report at some stage

Ouch(!) for Lynn and Saeed.

What country are those raccoons from?
Not Kentucky 'coons, eh?
Turkish raccoons?
Or wood that be Circassian coons?

Raccoons are famous for rabies here.
Pet coons get rabies vaccines for sure.

If Fatty is any indication of fur quality of the pair, they would make a nice start on a raccoon skin coat,
but would make a sorry pair of 'coon skin caps.
Not enough tail stripes!

David: Safari Press ought to be interested, as I know that most of us would buy the book outright. Have you talked with them about publishing it?

One day, I just got into my car to go home after being on the beach jet skiing.

In those days there were no mobile phone, but we had fixed car phones.

I got a call from a friend " Saeed, where are you?"

" I am just leaving the sailing club going home"
"Can you come over to my house please?"
He sounded quite worried.

"Sure, what is the problems?"
"You won't believe this, but there is a great big ape sitting on my car!"

I thought that sounded a bit funny, and I better hurry over there, as there seems to be a promise of some fun!

I drove into house, and parked behind his car - he worked for BMW, and had a 3 series estate. The car was parked at the end of the driveway, next to the kitchen door.

The kitchen had a window, and there was a big money sitting on the window. The monkey did not seem to be too worried about my presence - Walter later on said because the monkey recognised me as one of his relatives!

David was inside, behind the closed window.

I shouted at him to give me something to feed the monkey.

The monkey jumped from the window onto the top of his car.

David opened the kitchen door just a fraction, and gave me a lemon.

I gave thrrew the lemon at the moneky. He got hold of it, bit it, did not like the taste, and threw it away.

"Come out and we will catch it. He does not seem to be very dangerous"

"Not DANGEROUS? Look at his bloody TEETH! I am not coming out"

I had a big towel in my car, so went and got it. The monkey now jumped on the front of David's car.

I took the towel, and went close to the monkey, talking to him as I got closer.

I threw the towel over his head, and got hold of his neck from the back.

I was in my swimming trunks and a t-shirt.

The bloody thing got hold of my legs, with both his hands and feet, and started screaming like mad. The towel fell of his head, but I kept hold of him, as I could see his 2 inch long teeth, which he was trying his best to sink into my legs.

"David, come and help me put him in the car! If you don't I will break the kitchen window and throw him in!"

David came, and open the back of his car.

I legt go of the money inside, and we closed the back.

The first thing he did he shit all over the place, and started biting anything he got hold of.

In no time at all the inside of that car was in tatters.

I called a friend from the zoo, and he came over with a cage and took the moneky away.

It was one of those Indian monkey's.

The best part was when David asked to use my car phone to call his boss, to tell him he was going to be late for work.

The conversation went like this.

"I am going to be late coming in this afternoon"
"Why"
"There is a monkey in my car"
"How the hell did a monkey get into your car?"
"Saeed put it there"

Apparently, that last sattement answers everything.

quote:

Originally posted by Saeed:

The best part was when David asked to use my car phone to call his boss, to tell him he was going to be late for work.

The conversation went like this.

"I am going to be late coming in this afternoon"
"Why"
"There is a monkey in my car"
"How the hell did a monkey get into your car?"
"Saeed put it there"

Apparently, that last sattement answers everything.

Saeed that's wonderful!!!

Brett

Steve I remember her she was are really BEAST!!!!! you should have asked her to marry you at least you would not be breeding out of your species.

Ah but to do that, she'd have to be a female tokolosh!

Susan told on you you are not equipped to be a tokolosh the yogurt monster just does not measure up to tokolosh standards

During my college days I use to rodeo. One weekend at home during my junior year, the sister in law had a new horse that kept thumping her. Being the "rodeo hand" I was asked to see if I could work on him a bit. It was actually the other way around. I mounted the horse who immediately sunfished and came over backwards, breaking a number of bones in my foot.
Other than that being around livestock most of my life, I have been bit, kicked, knocked over, bucked off without suffering more than scratches and bruises.
near misses don't count

Saeed, that is a great story. I hope that your friend thanked you properly for helping him with his monkey problem!

I was following up a wounded Gemsbok in VERY thick cover on my hands and knees, as we saw each other, he charged.... head down ready to skew me like a hot dog. I stopped him right at my feet.

In Botswana 2004 on a leopard hunt, my PH and I had spent several all night stints in a reed, ground blind. We had a huge leopard coming to the bait, but we could never catch him on the bait. We had hyenas, baboons etc. doing their thing all night long. One night, something came to my side of the tiny blind. It was sniffing, pawing and rubbing on my side of the blind right next to my foot. As I had hunted with this PH several times before and trusted him implicitly and being a female, I figured, if he didn’t tell me to be afraid or ready to shoot I would just sit absolutely still (holding my breath BTW), I'd take my cues from him. When the critter finally moved off, the PH leaned over to me and asked, “What in the hell was that?!”

I nearly died!

Regards, D. Nelson

Good one D!!!!

Brett

quote:

Originally posted by Tim Vining:
During my college days I use to rodeo. One weekend at home during my junior year, the sister in law had a new horse that kept thumping her. Being the "rodeo hand" I was asked to see if I could work on him a bit. It was actually the other way around. I mounted the horse who immediately sunfished and came over backwards, breaking a number of bones in my foot.
Other than that being around livestock most of my life, I have been bit, kicked, knocked over, bucked off without suffering more than scratches and bruises.
near misses don't count

I wish I had had a go at real rodeo before I got too old.... How old is actually too old for rodeo? I played a lot of polocrosse when I was younger and messed around riding cows, but never rode a bull or bronco. I love the shows I see on ESPN sometimes. Those guys have my utmost respect.

quote:

Originally posted by Use Enough Gun:
David: Safari Press ought to be interested, as I know that most of us would buy the book outright. Have you talked with them about publishing it?

UEG, I haven't spoken to Safari Press but have thought about approaching them. I just thought that because the walk doesn't really involve much hunting, it would not be up their street.
Of course, one of the main reasons for the walk is to promote hunters and hunting and to raise awareness and support for anti-poaching efforts, but still the book will not actually involve much hunting....
I have been busy drafting the first third of the manuscript but cannot finish it now as the borderline beckons. I will finish it in Mutare or Beitbridge or wherever and send it to both the publishers I'm talking to and Safari Press. Might as well keep the options open eh?

Cheers UEG, thanks for your interest in this expedition and my writing, as always. David

quote:

The best part was when David asked to use my car phone to call his boss, to tell him he was going to be late for work.

The conversation went like this.

"I am going to be late coming in this afternoon"
"Why"
"There is a monkey in my car"
"How the hell did a monkey get into your car?"
"Saeed put it there"

Apparently, that last sattement answers everything.

That made me laugh until i cried. Come on boss, write a book.

quote:

Originally posted by Rine Everett:

quote:

The best part was when David asked to use my car phone to call his boss, to tell him he was going to be late for work.

The conversation went like this.

"I am going to be late coming in this afternoon"
"Why"
"There is a monkey in my car"
"How the hell did a monkey get into your car?"
"Saeed put it there"

Apparently, that last sattement answers everything.

That made me laugh until i cried. Come on boss, write a book.

Saeed,

What you should actually write a book about is what goes on on this website.

Bit on my right big toe by a wolf spider. Hurt like blazes and took two years to heal.

I've been much closer to death hunting than this, but those are mostly illness, weather and terrain related. One of the dumbest, other than following a wounded lion into thick bush at night, is the time I chocked a Wolverine to death. A friend I spotted a Wolverine borrowed into the snow. All we had between us my Colt Woodsman. I told him to reach in grab it by the tail and pull it out so I could shot it. Much to my suprize he did. As he jerked it out it spun around and I let him have it with that mighty 22. Well all that did was piss him off and he started coming for me with jaws snapping. I was running backwords and shooting as fast as I could but it didn't seem to effect him. This happened really fast and I was out of bullets in about 3 seconds with him still coming and my friend laughing like mad. I'm yell for him to help me when I realize I need to get offesive right quick so I jump on this thing and get my hands around his neck to keep him from biting me. By now my friend has engaged with a big branch he grabbed. He hit in the side so hard he knocked it off me and dazed it. We got the branch on his neck and stood on it till he expired.
This I might add is a lessen in how not to trap fur animals.
I had a Rocky Mountain Goat come closest to killing me but thats more about Karma than anything.

quote:

Originally posted by Wendell Reich:
Don't get me started on how many times horses have tried to kill me. By far, that is the most dangerous animal on the planet.

As a horse vet...I get hurt by them weekly. I have so many scars, crooked bones, and false teeth from them...I do not even venture to tell the tales.

Hunting...the closest I have been to getting killed was again by a horse. Panicked on a slick high mountain trail and fell 30 feet free fall the rolled and slid another 100 feet with my saddle, rifle, binos and a lot of othe stuff.

I was lucky and grabbed a small sapling as we were going over and kicked my feet out of the stirrups.

I was kicked by my horse while going down a shale slide in British Columbia, nothing broken, just banged up. Good as we were hours away from anything. I had an ex that tried a knife on me, she is no longer my concern. I had a relative of my landowner open up without knowing who else has paid to be there, he snuck on his cousin's ranch with no regard to others nor property rights! I was ready to pull triggers if anything else happened!!!

Raccoons? Raccoons are nasty. Of course, Hessa is so adorable even the beasts behave for her. Are you two sure you don't want a few more like her?

Saeed,

That is the best laugh I've had in a long while.

Thanks!