Ladies and Gentlemen,

Last year, we took a modem with us that was supposed to connect to our sat phone.

The idea was to give you all a sort of running report of how everyone is faring with Walter in the camp.

That idea did not work, as our modem absolutely refused to talk to our sat phone.

This year we thought of taking a slightly less hi-tech route.

We are going to make regular phone calls to Canuck, who has kindly agreed to relay our progress report to you on this forum.

Nine of us are going to be hunting together this year, and if past experience is anything to go by, we are all in for a full time of side splitting laughter.

Ray, Dwight, Todd, Horst, Walter, Nelson, Roy, Alan and myself.

Ray needs no introductions, as he is well know to most of you.

Dwight is a champion bench rest shooter and gunsmith from Michigan. He does not really like shooting big guns - he is scared it will teach him to flinch. But, in Africa he seems to forget this little fact, and has no problem using my old 374/404. The one he built for me.

Todd is known as Mr. Small Caliber, as he is probably the most knowledgeable person on small calibers. Walter kids him by calling him "mosquito rifle man". He is also the Editor of Small Caliber News.

Horst is an authority on everything that crawls. He has a knack of finding a snake or scorpion under every blasted rock he picks. He is Walters arch enemy, which by turn, makes him my best friend.

Walter is our walking disaster. I am sure he has damaged every part of his anatomy several times. And by the looks of things he is not about to stop now.

Nelson is a friend of Walter's from Chili - and Walter just told us "if you think I am accident prone, wait till you meet Neslon!"

God help us.

Roy is also well know to most of you. As he was our PH in Zimbabwe on many hunts. He has lost his concession to some of Mugabe's thugs, so he has a perfect chance to pay Walter back for causing him untolf misery on many safaris.
He said he is looking forward to it.
So are we. It is always a pleasure to see someone give Walter some of his own medicine back.

Alan is also well known to most of you. He is Roy's son, and a PH himself. But, he enjoys coming along with us to take our hunting video.

And of course yours truly, who tags along hoping to to shoot a buffalo or two.

We are arriving in Dar on the 3rd of next month, and hope to start hunting on the 24th.

I am taking my two 375/404 rifles. I normally use one, and my friends who are without a rifle normally use the other. I have loaded our own 300 grain Walterhog bullets for this hunt. We have changed the design slightly, by increasing the depth of the HP.

I am hoping to have a full report, with photos, at the end of our hunt. Last year, we only recovered those bullets fired into buffalo at an angle. Those shot broadside always excited.

And we will all tune in to hear the fray......

Saeed,
I hope you have a safe time. I can't wait to read the stories. Bryan

Saeed,

We've been using a system called "Thuriya" that has been put in place by a Saudi company. We got it from a supplier in Nairobi. I get e-mails from the camp and can also send. It works as a telephone as well and, unlike the Iridium phones we have, it works rain or shine, indoors or out.
Rich Elliott

Saeed my friend if you are arriving on the 3rd and starting your hunt on the 24, then I assure you that I will have shot out all the licenses and will be leaving camp on your incoming charter, I will greet you and praise your generosity and will have, after all these years, surpassed you in Buffalo killed, bless you my friend!!

Actually Saeed has been around Walter all week, and thats hectic..His schedule is somewhat different I suggest...

Saeed, et al,

Have a great time (pretty much assured!). Stay safe, and send lots of pictures and colorful commentary.

We'll look forward to it. (Helps keep the Walter Mitty's and those suffering Post Safari Depression among us sort of sane.)

Saeed and Friends,
Sounds like a great hunt. Since the video of your last trip was lost before it got to me, could you put me somewhat farther up the list for this video?
Good luck to you all,
Russ

Saeed, can't you get one of those satellite uplink sets that the foreign reporters were using during the Iraq war? You could upload videos to DRG who could then post them to the videos section of AR for all to enjoy.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I should have said we are starting hunting on the 4th, but, with Walter putting the final touches on his book HOW TO KILL YOURSELF IN 1001 LESSONS, I am finding it hard to get my act together.

He believes in trying all the 1001 and ways of committing suicide before he can write about them in his book.

One day I will write a book about Walter, and I can assure you, it will all be true.

Trouble is I find it hard to believe what he does to himself when I see it with my own eyes. So I can imagine anyone reading those stories saying I made it all up!

Rich,

Thuraya does not cover the south of Tanzania. We had two Thuraya phones last year, and none worked at all.

The best part was Walter would run the battery flat every day trying, despite me telling him it did not work. He was still at it on the day we left!

Peter,

What a grand idea, but I am afraid we have to take a rain check on it this time

We are all congregating on Dar from different destinations.

Roy is coming from Harare, Alan is already there - he is hunting until the 30th I think. Ray, Dwight and Todd are coming from the US via Jo'berg, and will only transit the airport.

Horst, Walter, Nelson and myself are flying direct to Dar. The plane makes a short stop in Nairobi, and we arrive at Dar just after lunch. We meet up with all our friends, and hop on a charter plane, and head to camp.

On a different note.

We have been offered many different digital cameras to take to Tanzania to see how they perform. I have not made up my mind yet which of these we will take - too many really, and some are not really pocket size either.

We are taking a Nikon D70, Fuji S1 Pro, Canon S1 IS and a Canon Ixus 500.

The ones we have been asked to take, in addition to ours mentioned above, are a Sony 828, Canon S1 Pro, Olympus 8080, Nikon 8700, and Panasonic FZ10.

Walter is doing the nogotiations, and I have heard him say "we will take ALL the cameras, and when we come back we will give you ALL the photos taken, seperated by camera, but you won't get the cameras back"

Saeed



Wow that is a logistical nightmare that you chaps are coordinating ... Anyhow if there are any guys left around ( lost in Africa - ha ha ) with some days up their sleeve after the hunt, feel free to sound me out ( as we are only a short 55 minute flight from Jo-burg ) and we can maybe help, no problem as you are well cordinated this time, just remember the offer stands if as applicable in the future ...



Just out of interest



WE have a Nera Worldphone Mini M Sat Phone @ the Zambia ranch and have found it very suitable for our situation which is mainly in a fixed location, but it can be transported easily as well, it is the size of a small laptop PC



Good luck and good health to all the people





The pool in SA is now full.



Peter

Peter,

The Nera WorldPhone is indeed a good sat phone for making calls from anywhere in the world (except the north and south pole!), and we used one on our drive from Norway to RSA. So it's definatly transportable! The only thing that this phone isn't very good with IMO is for transfering data. It only transfers at 2.4 kbps. Which is painfully slow if you want to send something...

But Nera makes another solution that would be better for sending pictures, video etc: Nera WorldCommunicator This phone can transfer data up to 128 kbps!

For general use such as a "regular" telephone, if you don't need to send data, the WorldPhone is naturally just as good.

The good thing about Inmarsat (the sat system Nera phones use) is that the sats are geostationary. That is, they don't move in relation to the earth. In East Africa, you just position the antenna in the right angle towards the nearest satellite (there's one above the Indian Ocean named IOR), and don't have to move it again. Unlike the other systems where the sat stations are constantly moving, and you can loose coverage when your phone switches the signals from one sat to the next one. Which can of course be annoying in the middle of a conversation! Admitadly, all you have to do is call up again, but it can be a pain in the a$$.

On the other hand, if size is important, some of the other options on the market such as Iridium are the size of a large cell phone. And thus very handy.

Erik D.

Hi EricD

Yes that is correct about N & S poles BUT i dont think many hunters go there often to hunt

We have not used our Satt Phone for data at all, but that is good that you mention the limitations on that model.

Our phone in Zambia is basically set up in the PH's house with the base antenna fitted on a short pole outside. Occasionally when the PH travels to Lusaka he might disconnect and take it with him.

It is very easy to line up to the satellite with the beeper sound to help

Take care

Peter

Peter,

Thank you for your offer.

I do have your phone number in my diary - hoepfully it has not change.

In fact, would you be kind enough to give me your contact number in a PM please, just to make sure we have everything up to date.

We have been using the Iridium 9505 sat phone, and it works great from both Zimbabwe and Tanzania.

We are taking the same one this year too.

Saeed,

Have a great hunt... Looking forward to running reports of your success!!!

$bob$

Poor Roy.Maybe he can get in a lick or two of "payback" on certain individuals for all the heartburn you guys gave him in the past.

Roy was here with his family a couple of months ago, and he asked if it was alright with everyone that he pays back all his dues to Walter.

Every one agreed to his suggestion!

Saeed,



Why not just use the short message email service to send brief updates to Canuck from your 9505. That way, you needn't worry about the time difference when calling (not to mention it's free). Granted, you are limited to 150 characters but I have become a pro at abbreviating mesages. CUL8R



Rich,



Saeed is right . . . Thuraya coverage is limited and more expensive from what I have seen. Further, Iridium doesn't utilize the "zone" pricing that Thuraya does. The costs are the same regarless of one's location.



Best,



JohnTheGreek

Well, if nothing else...the high jinx reports should be worth loggin in for.
Now...who is taking the whoopee cushions and the itching powder? Anyone have the old buzzer ring for the handshaking?

Saeed,
Dwight, Todd and I will be coming from Amsterdam to Dar es Salaam, not Joberg!

I feel sorry for Roy, I would not want to get even with Walter for anything, that's scary, just leave well enough alone in his case...I will wear armour for this trip so I don't become a pile of collateral damage in the process....

Good Luck, Saeed.

It sounds like Roy should wait until late in the hunt to even up with Walter - he might not get much sleep afterwards!

Ladies and Gentlemen,

For those who are not familiar wth our Walter, here is a very brief history of his gunsmithing adventures.

Years ago, he used to work in an arms facory in Germany.

He was given a double barrel shotgun to fix, as there was something wrong with its firing mechanism.

He took the stock off to get at the locks. And instead of putting a snap cap in the chamber to try it, he put a live round in. He turned the action backwards to close it - the barrels facing him - and closed it. The shotgun went off, taking half his thigh with it.



Luckily, he managed to recover from this attempt at his life.

For the next dozen or so attempts, he kept to air rifles.

People would bring their air rifles to him to fix. Most of the problems they had were weak springs.

Walter used to check the power of these rifles by cocking them, and then putting his finger on the muzzle to block it.

On a few occassions, he forgot to check if there was a pellet stuck in the barrel. And in the process he shot his finger off about a dozen times.



About two weeks ago, he had another attempt at his life, which I have been sworn to secrecy not post any details of which until we are back from our hunt.

I was not able to have dinner that night, as I had such pain in my stomach from laughing.

I spoke to Roy on the phone and told him about Walter's latest adventure, I could not talk to him after that at all. He just could not stop laughing, intersperesed by one word which he kept repeating "GOOD...HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA...VERY GOOD...HAAAAAAHAAAAA OH GOD...HAHAAAAAA"!

Is this guy related to "Walterhog"? Seems you guys talk about a "walterhog" all the time. I thought it was a special type of bullet, but it must be this guy.
Have fun and, I suggest, get someone else to do your gun repairs over there. I doubt the locals would be able to help a guy that persists in shooting himself.

dogcat



Waltherhog and Walther is the same person The German Chilean "master" gunsmith of Dubai



He is also AR's most lazy moderator, I think is was months since Walther "tried" to do his job properly



Cheers

/ JOHAN

Holy Smoke Saeed



That is worse than a horror movie ...



This chap Walter sure seems like one of a kind, he must be the life of the party so to speak as we say, never a dull moment when Walter is around.



Apart from fun and games and jokes what are the other credentials of Walter, please DONT tell any secrets, just some basic background as he seems to be a very interesting and likable man to say the least, full of life and vitality



Peter

Balla Balla,
Walter has no credentials He is just walter

But he is the best thing to have around a hunting camp, but please don't tell I said that, it will go to his head..

Peter,

Walter is a qualified gunsmith, and according to Todd, he is the MASTER GUNSMITH OF DUBAI!

His problem is being the only QUALIFIED gunsmith around here, and no one takes kindly to that fact.

It seems everyone is conniving to play a trick or two on Walter. Even arch enemies seem to become the best of friends when Walter is at the receiving end.

He is very good at adjusting triggers. You give him a rifle, and tell him what trigger pull weight you wish to have, and he will set it for you.



The photo above is of two Jewel triggers, with their mounting attachment. The one on the left is installed wrong, and the one on the right is the correct way.

I gave him the one on the left, and asked him to install it on a Hall BR rifle. He did, but the rifle will not cock! The trigger has several adjustment screws, and of course Walter never caught on what we did, so he spent about a week messing with the screws.

Still nothing worked

He tends to put so much pride and effort in whatever he does, he was actually sweating profusely even in our air conditioned workshop!

We told him he was loosing his touch at the only decent job he can do. So we got him some chocolate and ice cream - his favorite snack. And while the boys kept him busy, I took the trigger out, re-installed the trigger shoe, and put back on the rifle.

Everything worked.

We did not tell him what we did for a few days.

He is so lucky in having such an exciting time anywhere he goes, not just in our workshop.

One day he was out in his boat with some friends. They saw a man who have been swept out to sea by the current, and was in dire straights trying not to drown.

Walter raced the water police boat to help rescue this poor man, and he got there before the police. He threw him a rope.

The poor man kept pulling on the rope, a few seconds later, he reached the end of the rope - which was not attached to anything on the boat!

Luckily, the police were able to rescue the poor man - both from the current and from Walter.

Afterwards he told us he thought he had thrown him the anchor rope.

Saeed Our Friend,

Good luck in all your endeavors with this huge operation! May the red gods smile upon you when pulling trigger, and may they look the other way whenever Walter stumbles! It is inevitable!

Saeed,

This safari sounds like a heck of a party. I'm glad you don't drink since it seems that some of your entourage needs a sober chaperone/guardian.

Shoot straight and have a great time.

Regards,

Mark

Saeed,

Jason Roussos has been in TZ the last 3 weeks and communicated everyday on his Thuriya system. When I double checked on this he wrote, "Yeah, Thuraya didn't use to work in southern TZ but they recently extended their coverage south. This was the first time Simon's (Evans) worked there too. We were both very happy when we first turned our phones on and they worked. They are supposedly extending their coverage south as far as Botswana soon. The first area we were in was Luganzo which is found on the Ugalla River near Lake Sigara in Western TZ. The second area was Rungwa. Yes it was through Robin Hurt Safaris".

You might want to try it again.

Rich Elliott

Rich,

Thank you for this information.

No one at their office here would guarantee that it will work in the Selous. We do have a Thuraya phone, and will take it with us too.

We will let you all know how it works from our location.

Mark,
That's me the sober chaperone, well mostly sober or maybe sometimes sober...I am in charge of keeping order among the infidels of camp, those are many~!

Saeed, my friend:

Ray, usually my friend:



You two, having lived in Texas, will understand the not-so-subtle joke in this question:



Did Walter get his engineering degree from Texas A&M?







Time is short before you toast me (or will it be to my absence?) over a soft drink and a Tusker at Pierre's table... Save a buffalo for us next year! Dale and I will need at least two each left in Africa.



Have fun gentlemen and Godspeed!

Hey JudgeG,
Watch the aggie jokes. I is one!!!

Hey JudgeG,

Does living in GA make you a ramblin' wreck?

Can't be. I've seen him read.

LILed,
I knew you was an Aggie, I saw your senior ring while you were picking your nose! Oh, btw I am a native son but of UT fame....

Ray,
Even a teasip fan is welcome on my place!! a Texan is a Texan!!