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We were a three and half hour drive from camp on a very rough road. We had just loaded up the eland that I had shoot earlier in the day and the PH was anxious to get the eland back to camp and skinned out because it was a very HOT day. Well, wouldn't you know it. I had been looking for a zebra for the past few days and while driving back, I spotted two zebra a ways off. The PH stopped the Landcruiser to take a look and I got out with my rifle. He was cursing under his breath and wishing that I would miss the shot. Unfortunately for him and the zebra, the 220 grain Nosler Partition from my 300 H&H found it mark. Boy was my PH pissed. He really wanted to get back and we pushed the capacity of the Landcruiser to the limit.    I have hunted with my PH twice now (he even stayed at our home on one of his visits to the US) and I love to get him riled up. Any good stories out there about doing things on safari that your PH's didn't quite enjoy? Tim | ||
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Very nice eland Tim. I would need to write a book to cover all the scew ups we did - some on purpose, and some by sheer talent  that have upset my PH.Walter has made it his life long ambition to upset any PH he hunts with - and he practices for those 3 weeks a year all year long on me. One time we decided to take an afternoon off hunting, and just go out and shoot a few francolines for the pot. I shot a few, and then gave the shotgun to Walter. We were using a Browning B2000 semi-auto, which takes 5 shots. Walter fired a few rounds, and never managed to kill any. So Roy, our PH, got the shooting sticks out, and put them up for Walter to use the next time we saw some francolines. Walter was not too impressed with this, so Walter fired all 5 shots in quick succession close to Roy's ears! You should have heard all the swear words coming out from Roy. He kept repeating "I am going to get him. Mark my word, I am going to get him!" I ride in the front of the truck with him, so I thought of adding to his hearing problems. I kept whispering to him, pretending to talk! "You have to raise your voice! That bloody idior has deafened me! I am going to get! I will put my 460 Weatherby next to his ears and I will fire it!" | |||
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I think that unsafe firearms handling probably pisses off the PH more than anything. Not leaving a tip might leave a negative impression as well. | |||
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How about showing up all ready to "safari" with a Remington Model 742 (see-through sights and 150 grain balistic tips, too) at the J-burg airport... and no proof of ownership, to boot. This, after proper instructions/regulations were sent to the client... And the client, out loud, as if English is a secret code, says, "Can't you bribe these people?" I quickly changed lines and wished I was from China or somewhere. | |||
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A friend wanted to shoot an impala. We found a whole herd by one of teh waterholes towards the end of our hunt. His first shot broke one of the impalas legs. They all milled about in teh bush. He fired 2 or 3 more shots at that buck, all the time having several does around him. We knew he killed him with one of his shots, so we went looking for our impala, which we soon found lying dead. I then discovered that I had a tube of theaterical "stage blood". Don't ask how it got into my pocket, because I cannot remember  Anyway, we walked on the tracks of all the females that ran off, and sprinkled a few drops of blood as we went along. It just so happens that there were no licences left for does too. "Hey Roy, there is blood here. I wonder where this came from. The buck has died over there." Roy comes along and inspects the tracks with the blood, so I added "I think he wounded a doe!" Roy went ballistic! He kep repeating "Just what we need, A wounded bloody doe, and we have none left on license" We had to let him track those impala for a while, then we told him the joke! | |||
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Saeed also knows how to piss a booking agent off, shoot his buffalo out from under him two days in a row...I will never forget the rolling in the dirt and laughter of Pierre and Saeed, I will get them back, I promise, some day, some place they are both doomed!   Ray Atkinson Atkinson Hunting Adventures 10 Ward Lane, Filer, Idaho, 83328 208-731-4120 rayatkinsonhunting@gmail.com | |||
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Tim, tell the truth wasn't that truck overloaded because of N'gagi??? Mike | |||
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This past buf hunt in Zim the winds were swirling and the buffs were just on the ourskirts of vision...Finally we get to maybe 40yds...and I see this one bull lying down looking in my direction...NOw this was my first close encounter with a shootable buf...I am looking at him and the longer I looked at him the larger he got....and I was spoilin to pull the trigger on him...I ask the Ph is he big enough?? He goes no soft boss and the longer I looked the bigger he got..Finally I questioned him if we are looking at the same one and he got miffed and got up and the buff busted and I was ready to go off by myself and hunt on my own...Then he took off like a rabbit with his long legs and I practically had to chase him to stay with him... Mike | |||
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Just to make this clear, I witnessed this, it wasn't me. Had a herd of Zebra milling around, the PH told my client which one to shoot, made it very clear which one it was, the guy nodded, he's got it, the PH double checked with him, he said OK! I see him! Then he shoots the wrong one! completly at a different angle, turned the other way, and it turned out to be a young one to boot!!! The PH was pissed!!! but I have to give him credit, he was pretty good about it! "America's Meat - - - SPAM" As always, Good Hunting!!! Widowmaker416 | |||
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Proberbly those hunters whom pass up virtually every animal that presents itself for a shot with the hope that SOMETHING BIGGER will appear later ... then on the (final day of the hunt) PRESSURE the PH to get them some nice trophy/s before going home .... WE had such a client DOUG whom passed up on buff after buff after buff and on then on the very last day he pushed himself to take a 35" trophy when IN FACT previously during the hunt he had actually passed up a very nice big bossed 40" bull which he hunting buddy Mike hunting 2x2 with him took with a wide grin ... There were actually two groups of 2 hunting 4x2 at the time, all friends, so you can imagine the fun and games poked at DOUG on the lsat night around the campfire (-: Hunting is like buying a HOUSE .... SOME will always want to wait for something cheaper or something better to turn up meanwhile the prices go up and the bargains are snapped up by others and time passed you by A lession well learnt by Doug .... Peter | |||
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I know what pisses off a Sporting Clays competitor...his buddy who squads with him cancels out at the last minute...you dirtbag.  Mark Jackson  | |||
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Mark Where do you shoot your clays at? If you ever want to shoot at Camanche Hills (or anybody else for that matter) give me a holler. I'm a member there and live close by. Elmo | |||
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Mark, You talking about Kyler or Tim... Hey Tim...you got a pre 64 fwt featherweight in 06 that I should take of you hands... Mike Never under estimate the internet community's ability to reply to your post with their personal rant about their tangentially related, single occurrence issue.  What I have learned on AR, since 2001: 1. The proper answer to: Where is the best place in town to get a steak dinner? is…You should go to Mel's Diner and get the fried chicken. 2. Big game animals can tell the difference between .015 of an inch in diameter, 15 grains of bullet weight, and 150 fps. 3. There is a difference in the performance of two identical projectiles launched at the same velocity if they came from different cartridges. 4. While a double rifle is the perfect DGR, every 375HH bolt gun needs to be modified to carry at least 5 down. 5. While a floor plate and detachable box magazine both use a mechanical latch, only the floor plate latch is reliable. Disregard the fact that every modern military rifle uses a detachable box magazine. 6. The Remington 700 is unreliable regardless of the fact it is the basis of the USMC M40 sniper rifle for 40+ years with no changes to the receiver or extractor and is the choice of more military and law enforcement sniper units than any other rifle. 7. PF actions are not suitable for a DGR and it is irrelevant that the M1, M14, M16, & AK47 which were designed for hunting men that can shoot back are all PF actions. 8. 95 deg F in Africa is different than 95 deg F in TX or CA and that is why you must worry about ammunition temperature in Africa (even though most safaris take place in winter) but not in TX or in CA. 9. The size of a ding in a gun's finish doesn't matter, what matters is whether it’s a safe ding or not. 10. 1 in a row is a trend, 2 in a row is statistically significant, and 3 in a row is an irrefutable fact. 11. Never buy a WSM or RCM cartridge for a safari rifle or your go to rifle in the USA because if they lose your ammo you can't find replacement ammo but don't worry 280 Rem, 338-06, 35 Whelen, and all Weatherby cartridges abound in Africa and back country stores. 12. A well hit animal can run 75 yds. in the open and suddenly drop with no initial blood trail, but the one I shot from 200 yds. away that ran 10 yds. and disappeared into a thicket and was not found was lost because the bullet penciled thru. I am 100% certain of this even though I have no physical evidence. 13. A 300 Win Mag is a 500 yard elk cartridge but a 308 Win is not a 300 yard elk cartridge even though the same bullet is travelling at the same velocity at those respective distances. | |||
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Let your PH talk to his crew back and forth several days in Sindebele and then oneday ask them about the leopard the shot in this area ie the leopard they are talking about in Sindebele. He asked me "Do you speak Sindebele?" and I answered "a bit".  Doesn't pissed them off but does make them worried what they have been saying about you. Works in any language and you don't need to speak a lot of it just enough to get them thinking. Don't let them know how much though. | |||
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Now, if you REALLY want to piss one off - don't tip him!   | |||
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Sometimes, one finds it extremely difficult to please his PH. WE were looking for zebra to shoot for lion bait in Zimbabwe, so the "guys on the back" of the truck were given the job. WE saw several zebra, and they had several attempts, but were not able to take one single shot, as "they take ages to aim and shoot" said the PH. It was getting close to lunch time, and we headed to the camp, so I said to the PH I would shoot the next zebra we see. It wasn't long before we saw some run across our tracks about 200 yards away. WE jumped out of the truck, the PH put the shooting sticks down, and said "the one on the left". I fired a shot at the one on the left, and they all took off into the bush. I said "I wonder if I hit him?" PH "Yes you did. I heard the bullet whack him" I said "How could you hear the bullet hit him when you have your fingers in your ears?" PH "I did not have time to put my fingers in my ears! You did one of your damn quick shooting tricks again! My ears are whistling now!" The PH I have hunted with are such a confused lot, it has been impossible to please them. A classic exampe is when I shot an impala at over 400 yards. He was facing away from us. I hit him in his rear end, the bullet penetrating the whole length of his body, and came out at the neck-shoulder junction. My PH said "you hit him too far back!" May be he wanted me to bounce the bullet off a mopane tree and hit the impala in the shoulder. | |||
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I thought the only thing that was supposed to piss of the PH was if the check bounced. for every hour in front of the computer you should have 3 hours outside | |||
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Saeed, The way I understand it is that You & Walter are more than enough to confuse any PH ! | |||
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My PH doesn't like to be called a faggot and he goes a bit crazy when I use his middle name. He sure is sensitive! | |||
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Yes, the photo doesn't show it, but we had N'gagi sitting on top of the pile of dead animals. Tim | |||
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Mike, he is talking about me. His wife is a bit more understanding than mine. By the way, I have 5 Pre-64's in 30-06. One of my featherweights is in "shooter" condition and has a Winchester pad. It is not the prettiest rifle, but will put 150 Nosler Partitions and 150 grn Hornady SST's in 1/2 MOA groups. Also does pretty well with 180 grain TSX's. Tim | |||
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Tim, So you gonna email me some pics or what... Speaking of wives...I thought women were the most understanfing creatues on earth... Mike Never under estimate the internet community's ability to reply to your post with their personal rant about their tangentially related, single occurrence issue. What I have learned on AR, since 2001: 1. The proper answer to: Where is the best place in town to get a steak dinner? is…You should go to Mel's Diner and get the fried chicken. 2. Big game animals can tell the difference between .015 of an inch in diameter, 15 grains of bullet weight, and 150 fps. 3. There is a difference in the performance of two identical projectiles launched at the same velocity if they came from different cartridges. 4. While a double rifle is the perfect DGR, every 375HH bolt gun needs to be modified to carry at least 5 down. 5. While a floor plate and detachable box magazine both use a mechanical latch, only the floor plate latch is reliable. Disregard the fact that every modern military rifle uses a detachable box magazine. 6. The Remington 700 is unreliable regardless of the fact it is the basis of the USMC M40 sniper rifle for 40+ years with no changes to the receiver or extractor and is the choice of more military and law enforcement sniper units than any other rifle. 7. PF actions are not suitable for a DGR and it is irrelevant that the M1, M14, M16, & AK47 which were designed for hunting men that can shoot back are all PF actions. 8. 95 deg F in Africa is different than 95 deg F in TX or CA and that is why you must worry about ammunition temperature in Africa (even though most safaris take place in winter) but not in TX or in CA. 9. The size of a ding in a gun's finish doesn't matter, what matters is whether it’s a safe ding or not. 10. 1 in a row is a trend, 2 in a row is statistically significant, and 3 in a row is an irrefutable fact. 11. Never buy a WSM or RCM cartridge for a safari rifle or your go to rifle in the USA because if they lose your ammo you can't find replacement ammo but don't worry 280 Rem, 338-06, 35 Whelen, and all Weatherby cartridges abound in Africa and back country stores. 12. A well hit animal can run 75 yds. in the open and suddenly drop with no initial blood trail, but the one I shot from 200 yds. away that ran 10 yds. and disappeared into a thicket and was not found was lost because the bullet penciled thru. I am 100% certain of this even though I have no physical evidence. 13. A 300 Win Mag is a 500 yard elk cartridge but a 308 Win is not a 300 yard elk cartridge even though the same bullet is travelling at the same velocity at those respective distances. | |||
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Mike- Women are, but wives aren't.... for every hour in front of the computer you should have 3 hours outside | |||
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Mark, Thanks for the clarification now I understand...I guess that is why I am divorced and generally don't make it past the 9 month mark with girlfriends...they start thinking like wives. Mike Never under estimate the internet community's ability to reply to your post with their personal rant about their tangentially related, single occurrence issue. What I have learned on AR, since 2001: 1. The proper answer to: Where is the best place in town to get a steak dinner? is…You should go to Mel's Diner and get the fried chicken. 2. Big game animals can tell the difference between .015 of an inch in diameter, 15 grains of bullet weight, and 150 fps. 3. There is a difference in the performance of two identical projectiles launched at the same velocity if they came from different cartridges. 4. While a double rifle is the perfect DGR, every 375HH bolt gun needs to be modified to carry at least 5 down. 5. While a floor plate and detachable box magazine both use a mechanical latch, only the floor plate latch is reliable. Disregard the fact that every modern military rifle uses a detachable box magazine. 6. The Remington 700 is unreliable regardless of the fact it is the basis of the USMC M40 sniper rifle for 40+ years with no changes to the receiver or extractor and is the choice of more military and law enforcement sniper units than any other rifle. 7. PF actions are not suitable for a DGR and it is irrelevant that the M1, M14, M16, & AK47 which were designed for hunting men that can shoot back are all PF actions. 8. 95 deg F in Africa is different than 95 deg F in TX or CA and that is why you must worry about ammunition temperature in Africa (even though most safaris take place in winter) but not in TX or in CA. 9. The size of a ding in a gun's finish doesn't matter, what matters is whether it’s a safe ding or not. 10. 1 in a row is a trend, 2 in a row is statistically significant, and 3 in a row is an irrefutable fact. 11. Never buy a WSM or RCM cartridge for a safari rifle or your go to rifle in the USA because if they lose your ammo you can't find replacement ammo but don't worry 280 Rem, 338-06, 35 Whelen, and all Weatherby cartridges abound in Africa and back country stores. 12. A well hit animal can run 75 yds. in the open and suddenly drop with no initial blood trail, but the one I shot from 200 yds. away that ran 10 yds. and disappeared into a thicket and was not found was lost because the bullet penciled thru. I am 100% certain of this even though I have no physical evidence. 13. A 300 Win Mag is a 500 yard elk cartridge but a 308 Win is not a 300 yard elk cartridge even though the same bullet is travelling at the same velocity at those respective distances. | |||
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A bad back which wouldn't bend over enough to stalk in the low brush, and the wrong sole's on my Russel PH's were way too loud. He was right and I was wrong. We still had an excellent time.  Member NRA, SCI- Life #358 28+ years now! DRSS, double owner-shooter since 1983, O/U .30-06 Browning Continental set. | |||
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What sole did you have on your Russells? I was thinking of getting some and would like to avoid the offensive sole. Thanks. | |||
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Dan, I tried but no matter what I appear to be an offensive soul... Mike Never under estimate the internet community's ability to reply to your post with their personal rant about their tangentially related, single occurrence issue. What I have learned on AR, since 2001: 1. The proper answer to: Where is the best place in town to get a steak dinner? is…You should go to Mel's Diner and get the fried chicken. 2. Big game animals can tell the difference between .015 of an inch in diameter, 15 grains of bullet weight, and 150 fps. 3. There is a difference in the performance of two identical projectiles launched at the same velocity if they came from different cartridges. 4. While a double rifle is the perfect DGR, every 375HH bolt gun needs to be modified to carry at least 5 down. 5. While a floor plate and detachable box magazine both use a mechanical latch, only the floor plate latch is reliable. Disregard the fact that every modern military rifle uses a detachable box magazine. 6. The Remington 700 is unreliable regardless of the fact it is the basis of the USMC M40 sniper rifle for 40+ years with no changes to the receiver or extractor and is the choice of more military and law enforcement sniper units than any other rifle. 7. PF actions are not suitable for a DGR and it is irrelevant that the M1, M14, M16, & AK47 which were designed for hunting men that can shoot back are all PF actions. 8. 95 deg F in Africa is different than 95 deg F in TX or CA and that is why you must worry about ammunition temperature in Africa (even though most safaris take place in winter) but not in TX or in CA. 9. The size of a ding in a gun's finish doesn't matter, what matters is whether it’s a safe ding or not. 10. 1 in a row is a trend, 2 in a row is statistically significant, and 3 in a row is an irrefutable fact. 11. Never buy a WSM or RCM cartridge for a safari rifle or your go to rifle in the USA because if they lose your ammo you can't find replacement ammo but don't worry 280 Rem, 338-06, 35 Whelen, and all Weatherby cartridges abound in Africa and back country stores. 12. A well hit animal can run 75 yds. in the open and suddenly drop with no initial blood trail, but the one I shot from 200 yds. away that ran 10 yds. and disappeared into a thicket and was not found was lost because the bullet penciled thru. I am 100% certain of this even though I have no physical evidence. 13. A 300 Win Mag is a 500 yard elk cartridge but a 308 Win is not a 300 yard elk cartridge even though the same bullet is travelling at the same velocity at those respective distances. | |||
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Shumba good thing you didn't have an elephant tag!!!!!!!!!!!! | |||
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3 kudu bulls standing in the bush, the one on the right is the biggest by far. The PH, talking to his client, who is from Europe and cannot understand English so well. PH "Shoot the one on the right" Client "On ze right, right?" PH "Yes, the one on the right" BANG! The kudu on the left drops down dead! PH "You shot the wrong one! I told you to shoot the one on the RIGHT. You shot the one on the LEFT!" Client "Zat vun vas on ze RIGHT what I shot! On zear RIGHT!" PH "I KNOW! But when I said shoot the one on the RIGHT, I meant on OUR right!" | |||
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Saeed, Given the cast of characters  you have join you on safari, I bet you could spend weeks responding to this thread!! I'm willing to bet there is not a dull moment in your safari camp. I just can't understand how come your PH has not yet banned Walter from handling a rifle. Tim  | |||
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Tim, Check your PM...need to talk to you about a pre-64... Mike Never under estimate the internet community's ability to reply to your post with their personal rant about their tangentially related, single occurrence issue. What I have learned on AR, since 2001: 1. The proper answer to: Where is the best place in town to get a steak dinner? is…You should go to Mel's Diner and get the fried chicken. 2. Big game animals can tell the difference between .015 of an inch in diameter, 15 grains of bullet weight, and 150 fps. 3. There is a difference in the performance of two identical projectiles launched at the same velocity if they came from different cartridges. 4. While a double rifle is the perfect DGR, every 375HH bolt gun needs to be modified to carry at least 5 down. 5. While a floor plate and detachable box magazine both use a mechanical latch, only the floor plate latch is reliable. Disregard the fact that every modern military rifle uses a detachable box magazine. 6. The Remington 700 is unreliable regardless of the fact it is the basis of the USMC M40 sniper rifle for 40+ years with no changes to the receiver or extractor and is the choice of more military and law enforcement sniper units than any other rifle. 7. PF actions are not suitable for a DGR and it is irrelevant that the M1, M14, M16, & AK47 which were designed for hunting men that can shoot back are all PF actions. 8. 95 deg F in Africa is different than 95 deg F in TX or CA and that is why you must worry about ammunition temperature in Africa (even though most safaris take place in winter) but not in TX or in CA. 9. The size of a ding in a gun's finish doesn't matter, what matters is whether it’s a safe ding or not. 10. 1 in a row is a trend, 2 in a row is statistically significant, and 3 in a row is an irrefutable fact. 11. Never buy a WSM or RCM cartridge for a safari rifle or your go to rifle in the USA because if they lose your ammo you can't find replacement ammo but don't worry 280 Rem, 338-06, 35 Whelen, and all Weatherby cartridges abound in Africa and back country stores. 12. A well hit animal can run 75 yds. in the open and suddenly drop with no initial blood trail, but the one I shot from 200 yds. away that ran 10 yds. and disappeared into a thicket and was not found was lost because the bullet penciled thru. I am 100% certain of this even though I have no physical evidence. 13. A 300 Win Mag is a 500 yard elk cartridge but a 308 Win is not a 300 yard elk cartridge even though the same bullet is travelling at the same velocity at those respective distances. | |||
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True story. PH guiding female hunter who shoots a kudu. They walk up on him and he's lying on his back, belly facing them, trying to get back up. PH: "Shoot him again, between the legs!" Huntress: "Okay!" BAAAAHHHMMMM! PH: "THE FRONT LEGS!!!!!!" Mike Wilderness is my cathedral, and hunting is my prayer. | |||
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Walter wanted to shoot one of his not-so-distant relatives. A warthog. PH "Where are we going to find a warthog stupid enough to wait a half hour for Walter to shoot him now?" Me "Don't ask me, you are the PH. Anyway, he has been very nice to you today, even calling you his friend, so you better find him a pig" PH "Finding a pig is not a problem. Getting Walter to shoot one is" As it happened, a couple of days later, we were close to the Deka River just before lunch. And the trackers spied a warthog sleeping very close to the track. I jumped out of the truck, loaded the rifle, and handed it to Walter. Walter "What is happening?" Me "One of your cousins is lying there, look Roy has already put the shooting stick up. Go shoot it" Walter walks VERRRY SLOOWWLY the 15 yards to where Roy was standing - he is trying to be quiet. Alan and me are following the Great Warthog Killer. He finnaly gets there, and rests his rifle on the shooting sticks. Walter "What now?" Roy "Shoot that warthog" Walter "What warthog?' Walter is looking through the scope at some distance. Roy "Not THERE! Right here under this tree 30 meters away!" Walter "That is a log. I am not gong to shoot a log so you and Saeed laugh at me!" Roy "It is NOT a bloody log. It is a warthog. Look, he is lying facing to the left. You can see his ears" Walter "Is that his left ear or his right ear" By this point, I had to sunk slowly to the ground, and put my hand on my mouth, as I was very close to bursting of laughter. Roy "It is his LEFT ear. Hurry up and shoot the bloody thing. He is not going to stay there for you all day!" Walter "Mr. Vincent, logs do not have ears, and I have never, ever, seen one running away. But if you and Saeed want me to shoot a log, I will be happy to." BANG The warthog started jumping about. Roy "Shoot him again! He is not dead yet!" Walter "Oh shit! It is a warthoggy log. Wait! Wait, Wait I will kill him before he charges us!" | |||
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Years ago during one of the shikar camps in India, a family friend, nicknamed 'Commander Bond' who has a lot in common with 'Walther' was told that he must shoot the leopard before he got the live bait, a goat. The live bait had been tied up on a machan 6-8 feet above the ground to keep the hyenas & jackals at bay. At dusk, the leopard approached the bait, sprang up onto the machan, 'shoot' ' take him' 'take him' bang.... Good shot, someone remarked, after walking upto the machan, 'neck shot' the head shikari remarked. Poor goat had been shot through the neck. | |||
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Lynx, My Zim PH had a Spanish client who insisted that the PH had no idea how to hunt leopard! At the clients urging, they built a platform several feet above the ground in a tree and tied a live goat to the tree atop the platform. The Spaniard was convinced that this was the ONLY way to hunt leopard and that the standard baiting that had already been done was going to be of little use. The next morning when checking all of the baits, the group came upon the formerly live goat hanging by the neck and, of course, untouched by any cats. Poor goat opted for suicide rather than feline attack! Best, JohnTheGreek | |||
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JOhn, Maybe the PH should have insisted the rope be shorter!!!! It might have worked...... "...Them, they were Giants!" J.A. Hunter describing the early explorers and settlers of East Africa hunting is not about the killing but about the chase of the hunt.... Ortega Y Gasset | |||
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lol...
Some of the old timers would advice to tie the rope on one of the front legs above the elbow joint. This way the leopard would have to chew through the rope to take away the goat from the machan. I have seen goats being taken away with the rope tied around the neck. Changing the topic to " Things that piss off the client.. Sitting up on a machan on a tree for a tiger. Rats chew through most of the ropes holding up the machan. The two occupant of the machan, one of them my father, hold on for dear life for several hours till the schedule pickup time.. No sign of the tiger.  Lynx | |||
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