Africa Travel Question humor

03 March 2017, 20:29

Capt. Purvis

At the DDC this week in Raleigh. Smaller show with about 40,000 people in attendance. Once again I got asked a familar question.

"What are the prostitutes like in Africa?"

I always have same reply

"Sir, I am not in that business but if I was it would not be Africa. One in three people have Aids!"

Some people think that every travel destination is like Los Suenos.

03 March 2017, 22:35

Opus1

In Namibia all the car rental companies mandate big deposits when roof mount tents are requested. Himba residue is pretty difficult to erase - then again, so is Aids...

Always wondered why there were so many new tents on top of older Hiluxs.

04 March 2017, 21:33

MARK H. YOUNG

Capt.

That's interesting as I've never had any inquiries about prostitutes in Africa or anywhere else for that matter.

Mark

05 March 2017, 09:07

Saeed

quote:
Originally posted by MARK H. YOUNG:
Capt.

That's interesting as I've never had any inquiries about prostitutes in Africa or anywhere else for that matter.

Mark

You are in the wrong business Mark

06 March 2017, 07:28

Saeed

On the same note, we have one of the people working at our camp, Yassin, who is apparently a ladies man.

I am normally the first one in the mess tent in the morning, and he brings me a steaming cup of coffee, which he brews behind the tent.

"Good morning Yassin. Ah thank you for the coffee. Is it only you and me here?"

"Yes"

"They are all so lazy in this camp. Sleeping until now. You and me are the only active men here. A shame there are no women here, only you and me can have fun with them while everyone is sleeping!"

With the biggest smile I have ever seen on his face - and he is always smiling - he beamed and said "Many girls in Mboga! Very nice girls in Mboga! I can take you there and we have lots of girls!"

"How far is Mboga?"

"Not far. We go lunch time we get Mboga in the evening"

"That is a shame. I wish it was nearer. So we might leave at sun down, have our fun and back here by the morning for hunting"

"You shoot many buffalo already. One day we go hunt girls in Mboga"

"Yes Yassin. We will. One day. We just have to convince Alan that it is part of our safari"

"Yes"

We carry on discussing this subject every year, me and Yassin. I am keeping his hopes up

06 March 2017, 12:12

Bakes

And he seemed like such a nice fella, I didn't know he was a lady slayer.

15 March 2017, 06:03

nhoro

quote:
Originally posted by Capt. Purvis:
At the DDC this week in Raleigh. Smaller show with about 40,000 people in attendance. Once again I got asked a familar question.

"What are the prostitutes like in Africa?"

I always have same reply

"Sir, I am not in that business but if I was it would not be Africa. One in three people have Aids!"

Some people think that every travel destination is like Los Suenos.

Just have to use the West Africa technique:

1. Put on one condom

2. Coat condom with Tabasco sauce

3. Put second condom over the first one, covering the Tabasco sauce

4. Get after it.

If the inner condom breaks, you'll start screaming

If the outer condom breaks, she'll start screaming

Regardless of which one it is, when the screaming starts - PULL OUT!

JEB Katy, TX

Already I was beginning to fall into the African way of thinking: That if
you properly respect what you are after, and shoot it cleanly and on
the animal's terrain, if you imprison in your mind all the wonder of the
day from sky to smell to breeze to flowers—then you have not merely
killed an animal. You have lent immortality to a beast you have killed
because you loved him and wanted him forever so that you could always
recapture the day - Robert Ruark

DSC Life Member
NRA Life Member

15 March 2017, 10:59

DLS

quote:
Originally posted by nhoro:
quote:
Originally posted by Capt. Purvis:
At the DDC this week in Raleigh. Smaller show with about 40,000 people in attendance. Once again I got asked a familar question.

"What are the prostitutes like in Africa?"

I always have same reply

"Sir, I am not in that business but if I was it would not be Africa. One in three people have Aids!"

Some people think that every travel destination is like Los Suenos.

Just have to use the West Africa technique:

1. Put on one condom

2. Coat condom with Tabasco sauce

3. Put second condom over the first one, covering the Tabasco sauce

4. Get after it.

If the inner condom breaks, you'll start screaming

If the outer condom breaks, she'll start screaming

Regardless of which one it is, when the screaming starts - PULL OUT!

Oh hell, I wasn't ready for that. Just spit water all over my iPad. Very funny!

16 March 2017, 01:27

subsailor74

quote:
Originally posted by nhoro:
quote:
Originally posted by Capt. Purvis:
At the DDC this week in Raleigh. Smaller show with about 40,000 people in attendance. Once again I got asked a familar question.

"What are the prostitutes like in Africa?"

I always have same reply

"Sir, I am not in that business but if I was it would not be Africa. One in three people have Aids!"

Some people think that every travel destination is like Los Suenos.

Just have to use the West Africa technique:

1. Put on one condom

2. Coat condom with Tabasco sauce

3. Put second condom over the first one, covering the Tabasco sauce

4. Get after it.

If the inner condom breaks, you'll start screaming

If the outer condom breaks, she'll start screaming

Regardless of which one it is, when the screaming starts - PULL OUT!

16 March 2017, 16:55

StormsGSP

quote:
Originally posted by Saeed:
On the same note, we have one of the people working at our camp, Yassin, who is apparently a ladies man.

I am normally the first one in the mess tent in the morning, and he brings me a steaming cup of coffee, which he brews behind the tent.

"Good morning Yassin. Ah thank you for the coffee. Is it only you and me here?"

"Yes"

"They are all so lazy in this camp. Sleeping until now. You and me are the only active men here. A shame there are no women here, only you and me can have fun with them while everyone is sleeping!"

With the biggest smile I have ever seen on his face - and he is always smiling - he beamed and said "Many girls in Mboga! Very nice girls in Mboga! I can take you there and we have lots of girls!"

"How far is Mboga?"

"Not far. We go lunch time we get Mboga in the evening"

"That is a shame. I wish it was nearer. So we might leave at sun down, have our fun and back here by the morning for hunting"

"You shoot many buffalo already. One day we go hunt girls in Mboga"

"Yes Yassin. We will. One day. We just have to convince Alan that it is part of our safari"

"Yes"

We carry on discussing this subject every year, me and Yassin. I am keeping his hopes up

That is one of the shittiest little villages in Tanzania. I remember staying at a guest house there that had just gotten a generator, and it was the only power source for a long ways. Anyways they had a boombox and ONE bongo flava song that played on repeat for 2 hours. Thought I was going to go mental. Back in 2012 I was informed that a prostitute and a beer was 3000 shillings there- or about $2...

17 March 2017, 05:36

Fjold

quote:
Originally posted by StormsGSP:

That is one of the shittiest little villages in Tanzania. I remember staying at a guest house there that had just gotten a generator, and it was the only power source for a long ways. Anyways they had a boombox and ONE bongo flava song that played on repeat for 2 hours. Thought I was going to go mental. Back in 2012 I was informed that a prostitute and a beer was 3000 shillings there- or about $2...

I'll just take the beer.