My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy. My mother is
typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is
so sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't
hurt, except when I try to breathe. The doctors gave me an artificial
body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was
the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance.

I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy
doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said,
"Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me
hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and
chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to
every one you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr.
Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill
Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that
funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over
America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the
angels can hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go
to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all
the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then.
Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be
third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take
more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true.
Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my
leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't forward this email, that's okay.
Mommy says you're a mean and heartless bastard who doesn't care
about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't
stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die
a long slow horrible death and then burn forever in hell. What kind of
cruel person are you that you can't take five freakin' minutes to
forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame
about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Thank You, Billy "Smiley" Evans

roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!11

Dear Billy -
Your mother is a no good, liar. You were not born without a body. She sold it for medical experiments when you were very young, and used the money to buy rocks of crack to smoke.

I hear she is even considering disposing of your burlap bag and mulching your leaves.

Her illiterate, toothless, boyfriend said he would put what's left on a shelf in the closet and take it out when his drunken buddies come over to watch NASCAR and drink the last of your Mom's Ripple. Overheard him say something like "Who doesn't like a little head now and then".

Too bad Billy. Sorry about your luck.

That is funny stuff!

Billy Boy, we can help with the cat problem! You and your mom won't mind a red mist in the room will you? Maybe you could get her to cut out wall sections an sell them as art at a fund raiser. Remember Billy, the Good Lord helps them that helps themselves.

Now I have to wipe the tears from my eyes. ROTFLMAO!!!

Billy,

You need to grow up. Quit getting on the internet and trying to hustle God fearing people out their hard earned money. Grow up, be responsible and get a job and pay for your own damn operation. Go find a traveling circus and join up with them. I'm sure there's lots of people out there who would shell out a dollar to see a talkn' head.

Only in AR could such profound compassion be found

Lynn D