The middle-aged man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as
his wife helped him into the doctor's waiting room. A woman in the
office viewed the scene in sympathy. "Arthritis with complications?"
she asked.
The wife shook her head, "No. Do-it-yourself," she explained,
"with concrete blocks."
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A guy from West Virginia passed away and left his entire estate to his
beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.
==============================================
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed
that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ
depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example:
If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and
masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to
be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and
a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.
No further studies are expected.
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A West Virginia man spoke frantically into the phone, 'my wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!" "Is this her
first child?", the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her
husband!"
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A man was shopping in the men's department at Blooming-
dale's when he noticed an absolutely beautiful woman
behind the sales counter.
He went up to her and said, "Good morning, madam."
She smiled pleasantly and asked, "And what would you like?"
"What would I like? I'd like to wrap my arms around you
and squeeze you tight. Then run my hand up and down your
bottom and squeeze that. Then run my hands along your
inner thighs, up nderneath your dress. When I get to
your sweet womanhood, I'd like to rub that while simult-
aneously unbuttoning your blouse with my teeth. And then
I'd like to suck on your beautiful tits and bite your
nipples lightly... But what I came to buy is a new tie."
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