Dear Abby,
My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit-card
bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at
me, saying I am stealing his money. He says he pays the minimum and lets
our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the interest.
Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of
them no longer speak to us.

The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of
expensive gifts, running up our bills even more. Also, he has gotten
religious. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with
people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the next he's with Muslims.
Finally, the last straw. He's demanding that before anyone can be in the
same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath.
It's just so horribly creepy! Can you help?
Signed,
Lost

Dear Lost,
Stop whining, Michelle. You're getting to live in the White House for free,
travel the world, and have others pay for everything for you. You can
divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest of us are stuck
with the idiot for another year!

Signed,
Abby