Subject: perfect conditions


Conditions were perfect...12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness
all over...the "Tell me when we're having fun" kind of day.
One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she w as in dire
need of a rest room. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was relief
waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for female skiers in
distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away. If
you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a temperature
of 12 below doesn't help matters. With time running out, the woman weighed her options.
Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since she was
wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods and no one would even
notice. He assured her, "The white will provide more than adequate camouflage."
So she headed for the tree line, began lowering her ski pants and proceeded to do her thing.
If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a right way
and wrong way to set your skis so you don't move.
Yup, you got it!!! She had them positioned the wrong way. Stee p slopes are not forgiving...

even during the most embarrassing moments. Without warning, the woman found
herself skiing backward, out-of-control, racing through the trees. somehow missing
all of them and onto another slope. Her derriere and the reverse side were still bare,
her pants down around her knees, and she was picking up speed all the while.
She continued backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual vista for the
other skiers. The woman skied back under the lift and finally collided violently with a
pylon.
The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants.
At long last her husband arrived, putting an end to her nudie show, then summoned
the ski patrol. They transported her to a hospital.
While in the emergency room, a man with an obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to
hers.
"So, how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk.
"It was the stupidest thing you ever saw ," he said. "I was riding up this
ski lift
and suddenly, I couldn't believe my eyes! There was this crazy woman skiing
backward, out-of-control, down the mountain, with her bare bottom hanging out
of her pants. I leaned over to get a better look and fell out of the lift."
...... "So, how'd you break your arm?"

Oh no.....




EA