Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a
carrier of HIV virus.

My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in
Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are
prostitutes in Dallas.

I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at
Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994.

My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct
with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in
Longview. She is a part time "working girl".

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fianc�e and look
forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally
open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who supports John Kerry for President?

Signed, Worried About My Reputation