A few smart things to say to the wife to shut her up about women being smarter than men:

1. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me...."

2. Why do men fart more? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

3. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, because he'll shut up once you let him in.

4. What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? Wedding cake.

I suggest you get a good helmet or learn to run like hell before you use any of them.

Barstooler