The old pirate walked into the low-ceilinged, smoke-filled tavern and looked about carefully. Way in the back he spotted a familiar face. That be you, Jamie?

Aye. Who's askin'? That you, Tim? Where've you been, and what happened to your pin there, he asked, pointing to Tim's wooden leg.

Lost 'er in the Caribean, trying to board a merchantman. The two ships come together as me leg was just over the bullworks. Nipped it off clean. And what happened to your flipper? Lucky it was the left one. That's a mighty finely crafted hook, best I've seen. And yer missin' a headlight. How did that happen?

Oh, I was with Nelson and a Spaniard sliced off me wing. Got even with him, though. Cut his head in half down the middle. As for me eyeball, 'twer seagull shit.

Seagull shit? How could seagull shit put out yer eye?

Oh, 'twas the day after I got me new hook.

Yep, that's a keeper

Little Johnny out trick or treating in his Pirate costume. An older lady asks" Oh, a pirate, where are your Buccaneers? He reply's " Under my fucking hat". I have always thought that a classic. Then there's the pirate songs what's up there. Yo Ho, blow the man down?

Howdy MT Gianni,
You've done it now-reminded me of a great Montana sheep joke. Incidentally, do you know any good roofing contractors? I need someone to re-roof a small place in the Ruby Valley, soouth of the reservoir.

I always thought it was "where are your bucaneers?"

"Under my buccin' hat!"

Brice, The guy I used for my siding does roofs but he left some loose and won't answer his phone or return calls so i can't reccommend him.