1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds … only 15 to go ...

2. Ate salad for dinner …Mostly croutons & tomatoes ... Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce ... And cheese... FINE, it was a pizza... I ate a pizza …

3. How to prepare Tofu:
1. Throw it in the trash.
2. Grill some Meat.

4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web ...

5. I don't mean to brag but… I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes ...

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it ...

7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it... when I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel...

8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me...

9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.

10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented … I forgot where I was going with this ...

11. I love being over 60 … I learn something new every day … and forget 5 others ...

12. A thief broke into my house last night … He started searching for money … so I woke up and searched with him...

13. My dentist told me I need a Crown … I said, “You bet, pour mine over rocks” …

14. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day ...

PS: Sunday, March 13, 2016 was Daylight Savings Time … hope you didn't forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday night ...

"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."

Unfortunately too many of those are true.

I really like number 14.
Think I will try that this evening when I get home.

Good Ones,Some Are All Too True!!

I was baby sitting my youngest grand-daughter the other night and I was trying to distract her by trying to show her how to shoot a spring loaded toy gun that shot plastic darts with suction cups on the end --- not quite enough eye hand co-ordination but she did laugh when I made one wet and stuck it to my forehead.

She eventually ran down enough to take a late nap and I joined her. I woke up when I heard the front door open and when my wife and daughter-in-law saw me they both stared and then looked at each other and started to laugh. I didn't find out until I brushed my teeth before going to bed and I discoved a circular purple bruise on my forehead caused by the suction of the dart. It has faded quite a bit but is still noiticable.

I told everyone if a photo showed up anywhere on the internet I would change my will and so far so good

I went on a diet once, well actually I went on two diets as I could not get enough food on one.

Pete