two sisters, one blonde and one brunette inherit a ranch and after a few years run into financial troubles and decide they have to buy a bull for breeding stock. they find one for sale a few counties away and the brunette says i'll go check it out and if i decide to buy him i'll wire you to come get him. blonde says ok. sister likes the bull and buys him for $500. drives to western union and tells the operator send this " hitch up the truck to the trailer and come get the bull". operator says ok thats 99 cents a word. she says shit i can only afford one word. tells the guy send the word "comfortable". he says what?? hows that gonna get her here with the truck and trailer. brunette says shes blonde so she reads real slow. she'll look at it and sound out ......
"com for da bull"

and you gave me hell for the Fonda joke

deservedly so too

I can't argue with the truth

Many years ago before being self employed,I worked in an HVAC + metal shop. We had a secretary that had been there for years. One day our shop pts. runner said he was going into the pts. house in Austin to pick up a 5 ton compressor that we needed for a change out,+ Jane says."Jack,how are you going to carry a 5 ton compressor in a 1/2 ton pick up?"It would be at lunch time when everyone was in the break room to hear.

was she blonde? or from out of state?

Neither,just a simple well meaning soul. We used to get our work orders for the day 1st thing in the morning. She gave one to a service tech buddy of mine that said "Compressor want run". My buddy says,"hell,that's the reason she has 4 kids.She does'nt know the difference between want + wont."

Our son works overseas on a drilling rig & is buying some land clearing equipment to use during his time home to earn some extra cash.
The lady from the finance company he is using called yesterday & ask if he was going to be taking his Bobcat to his rig with him.

tell her hell ya he is. hes gonna pan for ocean gold with it while hes there!

Artificial intellegence is no match for natural stupidity.

quote:

Originally posted by NormanConquest:
Artificial intellegence is no match for natural stupidity.

ole norman conquest likes to tell true stories. heres one a mine. few years ago were we at a neighbors house for a bbq and fish fry, bout a dozen couples there, and after we got it cooked and fried and placed on the kitchen island the guys decided to go sit on the porch to eat and drink beer and fart while we ate and....well you get the idea. some a the wifes started complaining that we never sit with them in the house (and for a good reason too) and eat. the head whiner was already starting to put her 2 cents in when i said a little too loud "hey patsy, you ever smell moth balls?" she said "yea of course why"? i said oh yea, how'd you get their little legs apart? after a chorus of OH MY GODS we were invited to go outside and the subject of staying inside never came up again. and yes i caught hell when we got home.

It was worth it though,was'nt it?

damn straight. went back outside where everyone has his own chair at his own place at the table or sits on an ice chest. smokers and dippers on one side and non partakers on the other. 3 guys there worth over 20 million each, hobbies are buying and selling ranches. one guy who has a small ranch but found oil and has a weekly disposable income of over 30k a week and his wife still cuts hair in town. rest of us looking for nickles to rub together but you couldn't tell the kings from the serfs by dress and act. if the talk goes to hunting in africa and $50,000 cutting horses yes, but theres no bragging or one upping.